


The Grass Is Always Greener

by inahandbasket



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Cheating, Dildos, Double Penetration, Dubious Consent, Gwen Bashing, Multi, Oral Sex, Rimming, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-07
Updated: 2018-04-24
Packaged: 2019-03-28 03:28:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 33
Words: 64,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13895286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inahandbasket/pseuds/inahandbasket
Summary: Ianto Jones feels used and taken advantage of in his not-a-relationship with Jack, so he breaks up with him, and Jack immediately turns to Gwen.  However, the relationship between Jack and Gwen is going even worse for Jack and he decides he wants Ianto back.  This is truly a Janto story with some Gwen bashing.  Not for Gwen people.  There's lots of explicit sex between both couples.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is done, but I will be editing as I post each chapter.

It's seven in the evening and Tosh waves goodbye to Ianto as she leaves through the cog door. She gives him a wink and Ianto blushes as he turns back to preparing Jack's last coffee of the day. He picks up the blue and white striped mug and carries it up the stairs and over to Jack's office. Ianto knocks lightly on the open door as he steps inside presenting Jack his coffee.

“Ianto,” Jack says with a smile. “You always know just when I need some of your delicious ambrosia.”

“Of course, sir,” replies Ianto with a smile. “It's my special power.”

Ianto hands Jack the mug and then perches on the edge of the desk. Jack swings in his chair so that his legs touch Ianto's. He sips deeply at the coffee, closes his eyes, and moans. “God, Ianto, this is incredible like always.”

“Thank you, sir,” says Ianto as he nods humbly.

“Is everyone else gone?”

“Yes, sir. Tosh just left.”

Jack stands and puts the coffee mug on the desk. He slides his hands on Ianto's thighs, nudging them apart so that he can stand between Ianto's legs. “Then I think you know what I want.”

“Of course, we'll begin immediately.” Ianto stands up straight and gently pushes Jack back a little. His smile falls, and he moves his hand from Jack's chest up to his shoulder and pushes down. “Now what do I want to hear?”

Jack falls to his knees and looks up at Ianto. “Yes, sir. Whatever you want, sir.”

“Very good, Jack. Now pleasure me.” Ianto makes no move to undo his own trousers, just waits for Jack. Jack quickly moves his hands up and undoes Ianto's belt and zipper, pushing down his trousers and pants to mid thigh. Ianto is only starting to get hard and Jack grasps his cock and starts to stroke him to full hardness, bringing his thumb across the tip. Ianto leans his hands back on the desk and starts to breathe harder. Jack leans in and licks Ianto's cock from root to tip and then gently sucks on the tip, pressing his tongue into the slit. Ianto hisses and gasps, his eyes closing. Ianto opens his eyes again and looks down at Jack who is now taking his cock all the way into his mouth until it hits the back of his throat. Jack sucks deeply and brings his hand up to Ianto's balls, gently manipulating them. Ianto is now painfully hard. “Enough,” Ianto gets out in a strangled gasp. Jack pulls back and sits back on his feet, looking up at Ianto expectantly.

Ianto gets his breathing under control. “Strip and present yourself.” Jack immediately stands and pulls down his braces. He quickly unbuttons his shirt and throws it on the floor. Next to go is his vest and then he makes quick work of his belt, sliding down his trousers and pants in one movement to his ankles. He pushes off his shoes with his trousers, steps out of his clothes, and kicks them behind him. He quickly moves up to the desk next to Ianto and bends over it, grasping the far edge. He spreads his legs wide and waits.

Ianto moves behind Jack and gently grasps his arse, squeezing and rubbing. “Beautiful,” whispers Ianto. His fingers go down to Jack's cleft and slides down to his puckered hole. Jack gasps into the desk as Ianto gently circles and presses into Jack's hole. Jack tenses and sucks in his breath. Ianto kicks Jack's feet further apart and presses close to him, leaning over his back. Ianto leans down to his ear and whispers, “I know what you want.”

Jack shivers in anticipation. Ianto opens the lower desk drawer and takes out some lube and a large dildo. He touches the inside of Jack's thigh with the dildo, gently rubbing it up to his balls and down again. Jack's grip on the desk gets tighter. Ianto puts some lube on his fingers and brings them back to Jack's hole, circling and pushing them gently inside. Jack gasps as Ianto pushes two fingers in and thrusts them in and out. He crooks his fingers and Jack gasps, his knuckles turning white on the desk edge. Jack moans when Ianto removes his fingers, but Jack immediately feels the slicked head of the dildo pushing against him.

“Get ready,” is all the warning Jack gets as Ianto pushes the dildo all the way in. Jack lets out a strangled cry and then releases his tension. Ianto turns the bottom of the dildo and it starts to vibrate. Ianto pulls the dildo out and shoves it back in. Jack moans and then cries out, “Aaagggh.” His forehead falls hard against the desk.

“Are you ready, Jack.”

“God, yes.”

Ianto slams the dildo back in hard, and Jack cries out loudly.

“What was that, Jack?”

“Yes, sir.”

“That's better.” Ianto takes out the dildo and places it on the desk. He grabs a condom from the drawer and quickly gets it on and slicks himself up, moaning softly as his hand rubs up and down his cock. He grabs Jack's hips and lines himself up to Jack's open hole. He then pushes in and slams balls deep, releasing a groan of his own, mixing in with Jack's moans of pleasure. Ianto roughly slams into Jack over and over, forming bruises on Jack's hips. The first few times he did this, Ianto was unsure, but now he knows how much Jack really wants and can take. Jack has trained Ianto well about his own needs and desires and this need to be dominated took Ianto by surprise. Jack is a continuous moan by this point and is writhing against the desk, trying to get some friction on his brutally hard cock. Ianto says in his authoritative voice, “Don't come yet.” Ianto is close, too close, so he pulls out. He reaches over and retrieves the dildo. He lines himself back up and pushes in again. He then takes the dildo and rubs it along the edge of Jack's hole stretched around his cock.

Ianto uses a gentler voice, “Now relax.” Ianto has stopped thrusting and brings his finger up to trace along Jack's hole, and then pushes it in alongside his buried cock. Jack gasps and groans. Ianto pulls his finger away a bit so that he can place the tip of the dildo in. Ianto then very slowly pushes the dildo in alongside his own cock. Jack hisses and he turns his head to the side. Ianto can see Jack's eyes screwed shut and his hands white knuckled on the edge of the desk. Ianto stops with the dildo in halfway. “Jack, are you alright?” Even though Jack has many times assured Ianto that he will use his safe word if he needs to, Ianto tends to still stop and break character when he gets worried.

Jack lets out a strangled groan and says, “Yes, please, sir. Please, give me more!” Ianto chuckles at the begging for more as he sees how much is already pushed into Jack. At the begging, Ianto gets back into character and pushes the dildo the rest of the way in. Jack moans loudly, “gguuhh.” Now that both Ianto's cock and the dildo are all the way seated in, Ianto turns the base of the dildo to get it vibrating again. The feeling of the vibration against his cock while squeezed so tightly in Jack's hole just makes Ianto ready to come. He tries to get himself under control again and then starts thrusting again. He thrusts against the vibrating dildo and he thrusts the dildo in and out as well. He pulls on Jack's hips to change angle and thrust against Jack's prostate. Jack screams wordlessly and Ianto grabs Jack's hips with both hands again and starts thrusting quickly. He starts to lose his rhythm and goes as fast as he can, trying to hold on so that Jack can come first. “Come for me. Come now,” he commands. Jack tenses and twitches against the desk, coming on the desk and his stomach. Jack clenching around him is too much for Ianto and he screams as he comes inside Jack, painfully grasping Jack's hips. As he regains his senses, Ianto collapses onto Jack's back. The dildo is still vibrating and painful against his oversensitive cock. Ianto grabs it and pulls it free of Jack's twitching hole. He then pulls back and out of Jack. Ianto looks down at Jack's open hole and watches it retract slowly. Jack is breathing heavily against the desk. Ianto lays back down on Jack's back and tries to get his arms around him. He kisses Jack's neck and up along his jaw line.

“How are you?” Ianto whispers in Jack's ear.

“So good.” Jack says back. “Thank you for doing this.”

“Of course, Jack. Anything for you.” Ianto suddenly feels like he might have let too much emotion be known. Jack wouldn't want Ianto to be too attached, but Ianto is attached.


	2. Chapter 2

Ianto always wakes up several times during the night. This time, he wakes up with his head resting on Jack's shoulder and his arm thrown across Jack's chest. Their legs are tangled up together and Jack is still sleeping soundly, breathing evenly. Ianto lifts his head up to look at Jack's face. His face is completely relaxed and his eyes move behind his eyelids. A slight smile plays on his lips and all tension is gone from his face. Ianto loves seeing him like this, without care or worry. He looks like he might actually open himself up to Ianto, but Ianto knows that will never happen. Every question he asks, Jack deflects. It's times like this that Ianto can imagine a real life and a real relationship with Jack. The kind that he can never have.

Jack moves and slowly wakes. Ianto sees the worry lines form and the moment is gone. Jack opens his eyes slowly and blearily looks at Ianto who is still staring. “Hey, Ianto,” says Jack slowly and sleepily. “Why're you awake?”

“I just woke up. I'll go back to sleep.” Ianto says simply.

Jack quickly wakes past the remaining sleepiness and puts his arms around Ianto, pulling him in close. He nuzzles Ianto's neck and says, “Can I interest you in some midnight fun?”

“I don't think so, Jack. I should get some more sleep.” Jack only sleeps a few hours a night and Ianto is used to waking up alone in the morning.

“Are you sure?” Jack moves his hands to Ianto's arse and slides his fingers up and down against his hole. Ianto's dick is suddenly interested, but he still wants to go back to sleep.

“Really, Jack. I should get enough sleep so I'm not useless tomorrow.”

“But you're already awake and staring at me. Surely you want me in you? I could use my tongue, rim you for an hour or so.” Jack speaks into Ianto's neck and then nips and bites his skin. “I'll then use my fingers and make you come so hard you can't see straight. Isn't that worth staying awake for?”

Ianto couldn't deny his arousal at this point even if he wished that it wasn't so. Jack was never above keeping Ianto awake for sex even if he hadn't slept in days. It was fortunate Ianto already loved coffee, since that was the only way he got through the day anymore. He doesn't reply and willingly allows Jack to push him over so that his back is to Jack. Jack slides down the bed and grasps Ianto's cheeks, pulling them apart and licks up the cleft to his puckered opening. He gently laves his hole and presses his tongue in, opening the muscle slowly. Jack thrusts his tongue inside, and Ianto is suddenly past thinking about sleep and just wants to get off. The gentle manner in which Jack brings pleasure to Ianto makes him believe that Jack does want more, does feel more for him. Jack's finger joins his tongue and presses right on his prostate, forcing him to cry out and twitch. Jack keeps a firm grip on Ianto's hip, stilling him so that he can continue his ministrations. Jack pushes his tongue and finger in as far as possible and fucks Ianto with his tongue while massaging his prostate with his finger. Ianto brings his hand down to his cock and strokes quickly, trying to get off as fast as possible. He pulls and thrusts himself back on Jack's tongue until he's coming with a shout. Jack pulls his tongue and finger out and raises himself up alongside Ianto. Ianto gets his breathing regulated and turns on his back, while Jack leans over him with a smug look on his face.

Ianto answers the unasked question, “Yes, Jack. That was wonderful. I'll reciprocate if you'll turn over.”

“Can I get a blow job instead,” Jack says with a big grin while he turns onto his back. Ianto smiles back at him and moves down the bed.

“Of course. Anything you want.” Jack doesn't seem to notice the emotion behind Ianto's words and Ianto takes Jack's cock in his mouth, swallowing him down. He uses all the tricks he's learned from Jack to try and bring him off as quickly as possible so that he can go back to sleep. In short order, Jack is twisting the bedsheets in his hands, bucking his hips against Ianto's face, and shouting his pleasure to the ceiling. Ianto swallows his come and pulls off his softening cock. He wipes his mouth and moves up over Jack. Giving Jack a kiss, he collapses beside him and rolls over.

“Worn out already?” Jack leers at Ianto, and Ianto sighs.

“I really need to sleep Jack. I've been awake too long already.”

“Please, Ianto. I need you.”

Ianto's temper flairs. “You need me how?” He asks sharply. He just wants to sleep and all Jack seems to be interested in is keeping him from that. Ianto used to think that when Jack said he needed him, he meant in all ways, but lately it just seems to be a physical need that anyone could fill.

Jack's taken aback by the sudden temper. “I need you to do what only you can do.”

“And what is that precisely, Jack, because I'm thinking that others are able to fuck you and blow you. What is it that I do that's so damn special?”

Jack is pissed off at this dismissal. “I need you, Ianto.” Jack can't complete the thought. It's too much to articulate the ways in which he needs Ianto. “Are you suggesting I go out and find someone to fuck me because you won't?”

Ianto sighs. “Jack, I just need some sleep and some consideration for my needs. It can't always be about what you want all the time.”

Jack sits up and swings his feet over the side of the bed, putting his back to Ianto. “I wasn't aware it was such a burden having sex with me.”

Ianto sighs even deeper and sits up himself, giving up on sleep. “Jack, of course I like sex with you, but it isn't all about sex for me. I know that you want this to be only sex, but it's too late, it's more than that.” Ianto hadn't intended to get into this in the middle of the night, but sleepiness is taking away his filters.

Jack's shoulders slump, and Ianto just sees his bent back. Suddenly Jack moves, standing up and picking up his briefs from the floor. As Jack starts to silently dress, Ianto drags his hand through his hair. “Where are you going Jack? I want you to stay.”

“Ianto, I don't sleep all night. I can't just lay here for hours just so you don't wake up alone. I can get work done upstairs instead of wasting time.”

“So giving me comfort is wasting time.”

“That's not what I said, Ianto. You're purposely making me sound mean. I just like to get work done while you're sleeping.”

“And I sleep better when you're here and wanting to be here. Besides, I don't think I can sleep now anyway. I might as well get up and get some work done, too.” Ianto moved off the bed and started to get dressed himself.

Jack stops his efforts and watches Ianto with his mouth agape. “What, so now you're fine not getting sleep, but when I ask you to give me what I need, you're too tired?”

“Jack, I'm always giving you what you need, but what about what I need. You know I want a relationship, we've fought about this before, but you're not willing to give it to me.”

“You know I don't do monogamy, Ianto,” Jack yells in the small room.

“It's not about monogamy, Jack. I don't stop you from having sex with others, I even join in when you want me to, but I need to know that you want to be with me for the long haul. I need security and the ability to make a life with you.”

“Ianto, you know me better than most, and you know that I can't give you that. You should be with someone who can give you love and comfort and security. Relationships with me don't work and I can't do them.” Jack's eyes glisten with coming tears that he won't let free. This is an old argument and one that Ianto usually doesn't push, but tonight he's just tired.

“Jack, I'm not going to force monogamy on you, but I do want a future with you. I don't care that you won't grow old and that I'll likely die young, but I want security that I'm loved as much as I love.” This is the closest Ianto has gotten to telling Jack that he loves him. He expects something in return, but Jack looks away.

“Then you should find someone else.”

“You refuse me. After everything I do for you, you are seriously claiming that you don't love me, that you don't care about my needs? Your needs may be physical, but mine are emotional. I just want the same consideration that I show you.” Jack doesn't respond, just puts his hand on the ladder ready to climb up.

“Jack.” Jack stops on the ladder. “With Lisa I knew I was loved. We were planning a life together. We were going to get a house, get married, have children. I never stopped wanting those things.”

“Ianto, I've never promised you any of that.”

“I know. I'm asking you to now. Those are my needs that are not being met.”

“Ianto, I'm not going to change. I can't afford to. You know why.”

Ianto sighs. “I got with you so soon after Lisa. I sometimes wonder if it was really you I fell for, or if I'm just holding onto the memory of my relationship with her.”

Jack almost bolted up the ladder. Ianto immediately regrets saying that. It's not really true, just a worry Ianto has late at night. Ianto follows Jack up the ladder. Jack's in his desk chair putting on his shoes that were left behind the desk. “I'm sorry, Jack.”

“You think I haven't thought the same thing?” Jack almost explodes. “I know you think you love me, but it's not real.” Jack almost runs out the door. Ianto just stands stunned in the office. As he hears the alarms for the cog door sound, he moves to the door.

“Jack. I'm not staying.” Jack pauses at the door. “We're over.” Ianto's furious at Jack for presuming to know his feelings better than him. “This is me breaking up with you. I'll clear my stuff out of your room before you get back.” Jack takes that as his permission to leave and bolts out the door with his coat flying out behind him. Ianto stands there barefoot watching and lets his tears start to fall.

Ianto uses his sudden furious energy to race back down the ladder and throws open the wardrobe door. He has three suits in there. He pulls out his suit bag and fills it up and throws his extra shoes in the bottom. He goes into the bathroom and realizes that he has a lot of toiletries here. As he packs up his toiletries he wonders if he could be considered to have lived here. He throws in his books that he brought over and puts on his shoes and socks. He leaves the sex toys that he bought since they were really for Jack; he never needed them before. As he puts on his coat and makes his way to the cog door, he's a little disappointed that Jack hasn't come back to stop him, but at the same time he thinks that means he's making the right decision. He can't spend his life on someone who doesn't return his feelings. While he doesn't think he'll ever find someone again that he feels this strongly for, he'd rather be alone than feel like the worthless accessory of the handsome hero. He makes his way to his car and drives back to his flat.


	3. Chapter 3

Ianto arrives for work at 7:30AM. He usually would be there at seven, but that's only because he liked to spend time in the morning talking with Jack before the others come in. Seven thirty is plenty early to get everyone's coffee ready and everything cleaned. When Ianto arrives, he sees Jack sitting at his desk. Ianto starts coffee for himself and Jack. He takes Jack his coffee and silently places it on the desk before leaving quickly. Jack doesn't say anything either, just looks at him softly. Ianto notices that the office and desk has been cleaned up from the sex games the previous night. Usually Ianto would do this in the morning, but he no longer considers that his job. Jack doesn't mention anything, as he wants to give Ianto time to cool off.

Ianto returns to his work station and makes his to-do list and schedule for the day. He anticipates a good three hours in the tourist office and most of his time in the archives. Around eight o'clock, Tosh comes in and Ianto makes her coffee. Ianto and Tosh often chat in the morning before Gwen and Owen come in, but Ianto doesn't feel like it this morning and he quickly turns away.

“Ianto, is something wrong?” Of course Tosh would notice.

“No, everything's... “ Ianto sighs. He knows it won't work to try and lie to Tosh; she can always tell.

“What is it, Ianto?” Worry now infuses Tosh's voice. Ianto always tries to not let his emotions show at work, but he's too raw at this moment.

“Last night... I broke up with Jack.” Ianto can't look directly at Tosh when he says it. 

“Oh, Ianto, I'm so sorry. What happened?”

“I'm not really ready to discuss it, Tosh. I just realized that I can't stay with him. It's not healthy for me.”

“Okay. Just let me know if there's anything I can do for you today.”

“Thanks, I just want to be treated like normal.”

“Of course, Ianto.”

Ianto moves away back to the kitchen area and pulls out Gwen and Owen's mugs. He sets them on the counter and then realizes that they haven't come in yet, so he doesn't need the mugs just now. He sets his hands on the counter and takes some deep breaths. He feels arms come around his waist and Jack's body press against his back. He pushes against Jack, throwing him off and whips around furious. “What do you think you're doing?” He exclaims.

“Ianto,” Jack holds his hands up in a defensive posture. “I thought maybe you'd cooled off from last night.”

“Cooled off?” Ianto yells. “That wasn't a fight, Jack. That was a break up. You don't get to come in here and put your arms around me. You don't get to touch me or kiss me anymore. And you don't get to expect me to take care of your sexual desires at all hours of the day!”

Jack stares at his feet. “You really meant it then? You're breaking up with me.”

“Broke, Jack. Past tense. It happened last night at about two in the morning.” Ianto turns back to the mugs. “Not that we can actually break up since you wouldn't ever let us be in a relationship.” He thinks he heard the cog door open while he was yelling. Either way, he needs something to do so he starts the coffee for Gwen and Owen.

“I don't want to break up with you, Ianto,” Jack says quietly. “And yes, we are together enough that using the phrase 'break up' applies. We are something to each other, aren't we?”

Ianto responds just as quietly. “Does that mean that you'll commit to a relationship that includes the word couple and an implied future together?” Ianto still concentrates on the coffee.

“You know I can't do that, Ianto. I've told you how I can't give my heart to anyone. No one else knows about that, only you. I can't bear to lose anyone I love so I can't allow myself to love anyone. Please, Ianto, don't make me chose between loneliness and heartbreak.”

“Jesus, Jack,” yells Ianto. “I'm not making unreasonable demands! I'm still alive, stop planning for my death, and stop talking like I could be anyone. It's not about loving anyone, it's about loving me! I'm right here in front of you, asking for your love, trust, and acceptance. Can you give that to me?”

Jack's eyes are full of tears, but none are falling. “No, I can't.”

“Then we are done.”

Jack turns quietly and leaves the kitchen area. Ianto grasps the edge of the counter and tries to bring his temper under control. He grabs an empty mug and throws it on the floor. It shatters. The crash brings Ianto's temper down, but makes him feel ashamed for getting out of control. He knows that everyone heard the argument and the ensuing crash and knows how he lost his temper. He hates when other people know his emotions. He takes some deep breaths and feels a hand on his shoulder and whips around. It's Tosh, and Ianto relaxes and sighs.

“I heard the crash and wanted to help clean up,” says Tosh.

“Thanks, but it's just an empty mug. It's no problem.” Ianto bends down and starts to pick up the larger pieces. It was Gwen's mug, but Ianto's not sure if she ever noticed that he always gave her the same mug. She wasn't that observant in the hub.

“Ianto, would you come out for a drink after work, just the two of us?”

Ianto hesitates, then realizes that he really does want to. The whole group would be unthinkable, but just Tosh would be perfect. “Yeah, Tosh, that would be great. Around six maybe?”

“Sounds great.” Ianto wants to get out of the hub before his usual sex time with Jack. Tosh usually leaves at seven and then Ianto and Jack would have sex, but he wants to be long gone before that time. Gwen and Owen are both always gone by six.

Ianto suddenly feels lighter. He has someone for emotional support. He takes out another mug, carefully choosing the one he thinks Gwen might like best and starts their coffee. He can hear Gwen and Owen in the main hub and wants to act as normal as possible. His goal for the day is to not acknowledge his breakup any further.


	4. Chapter 4

As Gwen enters the Hub with Owen, they immediately hear the fight happening. She shares a questioning look with Tosh, since she always seems to know what's going on, but this time she shrugs but doesn't go back to her work. Gwen and Owen quietly sit at their desks and everyone tries to listen to the fight. Gwen wasn't entirely sure that Ianto and Jack had a real thing going on. She knew that they flirted, but wasn't certain whether or not they had acted on the flirting. This fight seems to indicate that things had progressed well beyond flirting, and Gwen feels a little jealous. She had always luxuriated in the attention that Jack paid her and didn't like to think that she hadn't known that someone else was more important to him. At the same time, they are clearly having an argument, so it can't be going very well.

Jack walks through the Hub and everyone tries to look like they're working. It doesn't matter as Jack doesn't pay them any mind and walks to his office, shoulders slumped and head down. Gwen hasn't ever seen Jack look defeated, but that is exactly the word that comes to mind. He doesn't look angry, but he does look dejected. Gwen decides that this must mean rejection, and from Ianto of all people! How could Ianto be the one rejecting Jack? She wouldn't reject Jack, and she's a much better catch. As she watches Jack close the door and blinds to his office, she decides to go after him. He shouldn't be alone like that. She barely notices the sound of breaking ceramic.

She enters the office without knocking, just like always. She enters quietly though and softly calls out his name, closing the door behind her. “Jack?”

He sits at his desk with his head in his hands and his elbows on the desk. She can't see his expression and he doesn't make any sound.

“Jack, is everything all right?” Just as she says it, she thinks how stupid a question it is. Of course things aren't all right, but she doesn't know what else to say. She goes over to his side and puts a hand on his shoulder. “Jack, please, talk to me. I'm worried.”

“I don't want to talk about it, Gwen,” Jack says gruffly. His voice is muffled and trembling.

“Then you don't have to talk.” Gwen kneels down and puts her arms around his shoulders and pulls him into a hug. He allows her to turn him so that his head rests on her shoulder. “Just know that I'm here for you.” She gently rubs small circles on his back.

He pulls his head back and looks at her. Now that she can see his face, she can see the pain there. How could Ianto have done this to him? She wants to take care of him and build him back up into the hero she knows him to be, the perfect man that she admires. “How can I help you, Jack?”

Jack quickly takes her face in his hands and pulls her into a kiss. It's desperate and hungry. She immediately kisses back, letting out all the pent up attraction and desire. Finally, this is what she has always wanted. This is the man she was meant to have, the one that can be her equal. He stands, pulling her up with him. His hands seem to be everywhere at once, grabbing her butt, pulling up her shirt, grasping behind her neck. She gives as good as she gets and they both start pulling at clothes and quickly start shedding them. They both have lost their shirts and Jack picks her up and sits her on his desk. He presses himself between her legs and she feels him hard against her. She's already wet and starts to grind against him. He unfastens her jeans and sticks his hand down the front of her lacy panties. She moans and presses against his questing fingers. He massages her clit and she cries out and starts grabbing at his belt, trying to get it undone. Jack pulls his hand out so that he can quickly undo his belt and flies. He then pushes Gwen back down onto his desk. Papers and supplies spill onto the floor. He yanks down her jeans and pants to her ankles where they get caught on her shoes. Jack doesn't bother trying to get them all the way off. He drags her arse to the edge of the desk, presses her feet against the side and spreads her knees as wide as they'll go. All he wants right now is to get back at Ianto for hurting him, but he knows it isn't logical or right. He's so angry and here's someone who's willing to give him what he needs and not make demands.

Gwen doesn't seem to notice that Jack hasn't spoken to her since he kissed her. He immediately starts digging through the drawers looking for condoms he knows he keeps in there. He finally finds one in the back, rips it open and rolls it on. He barely looks at Gwen as he shoves between her legs. Gwen has taken off her shoes and jeans while Jack searched for the condom, and now she wraps her legs around him and draws him in.

“God, yes, Jack! Harder, oh God!”

Jack pounds mercilessly into her, making her breasts bounce obscenely. All he can think about is trying to forget his anger and pain at Ianto leaving him. Part of him knows that he told Ianto it would be better to find someone else, but it still hurts. He needs to lose himself in Gwen, who always looks at him adoringly. He's always known that she was his for the taking and right now he just can't bring himself to care about Rhys. He bends down and sucks on a nipple as she moans and whines. Then he bends over her, creating the right friction for her, and kisses her messily and hungrily. She rubs up with every thrust and is soon panting with need. She comes loudly, screaming his name, not seeming to care that there are people right outside the door. Jack merely grunts and holds in the shout as he releases his tension and need. But it doesn't truly satisfy what he really wants. He keeps himself from crying out in case he says Ianto's name. He feels empty and suddenly takes in his surroundings. Everyone is right outside the door, undoubtedly listening to how loud Gwen was. The desk is a mess, much like how it was just last night after Ianto satisfied his every whim. Gwen has a boyfriend, and yet here he is, deep inside her, his sweat dripping onto her heaving breasts as she lays open on his desk. This seems very wrong, and Jack is suddenly horrified at what he's just done. He had just wanted to release tension and anger, but now he realizes how wrong he has done everything.

He isn't entirely sure if he should let himself feel all that guilty about it though. Gwen is an adult, able to make her own decisions. Jack was never monogamous in the first place, and Ianto has just made it clear that they are over. If the others want to listen to them have sex, they are welcome to. As far as Jack is concerned, they should all be having weekly orgies anyway. He shouldn't feel guilty, there is nothing to feel guilty about.

Jack pulls out of Gwen and pulls off the condom, tying it and tossing it in the garbage that he knows Ianto will be emptying later. Oh well. Nothing to be done about it now.

Gwen slowly gets up and pulls Jack to her, kissing him tenderly. It's nice having her hands comb through his hair. Her naked and warm body is pressed against him. The gentleness is nice.

“Jack. That was everything I'd hoped for. Of course I choose you, too. I'll have to talk to Rhys and work out living arrangements, but I couldn't be happier.”

Jack feels slow. What is she saying? Why would she tell Rhys? Oh, he finally figures it out. She is going to leave Rhys for him. Oh, no.

“Gwen, no. You shouldn't leave Rhys. He can give you so much more than I can. I can't give you the love you want.”

“Nonsense. Did Ianto fill your head with these things? You have so much to give and anyone would be lucky to be with you. I am lucky to be with you. I will do everything I can to make you happy. You don't have to worry about being alone ever again.”

Oh, this isn't going well. “Gwen, Ianto just broke up with me because I'm not able to love him like he needs. This will just end the same.”

“No, Jack. I will take what you can give me, and I'll be happy to be with you.” Of course he couldn't love Ianto, Gwen thinks, they are too different and Ianto isn't passionate. “I can be your companion and I can give you the passion you deserve. I know who you are and what you can give, and we'll be happy together.”

Jack mulls this over. Gwen seems to be saying that she'd be happy with whatever he could give her. Perhaps she wouldn't be as demanding. She clearly has trouble with monogamy herself, so it probably wouldn't be an issue between them. They could both have other lovers, but be with each other when needed. Maybe Gwen could be just the balm he needs right now.


	5. Chapter 5

“Are you fucking kidding me!?” Ianto tries to control himself so that he doesn't shatter another mug. He places it on Gwen's desk as he listens to her obscene moans. He hears the desk moving against the floor and is forced to remember that sound when he was making it just last night. “Only a couple minutes ago he's trying to get me back, and now he's fucking her while we're all right here?!”

Ianto can't help but stare at the closed door and blinds and is shaking with fury. Owen grabs his arm and pulls him away. “We're getting a pint, mate.” Owen drags him stumbling toward the stairs.

“I'll come with you.” Tosh grabs her purse and helps to manhandle the distraught and sputtering Ianto to the door. “Come on, Ianto. You're taking the day off.”

At the pub, Ianto isn't entirely sure how he got there. It isn't yet ten in the morning and he didn't know they were even open that early. He comes to his senses while sitting in a booth with a half empty pint of lager in front of him with Owen across and Tosh next to him. “How did we get here?”

Tosh rubs his back gently. “We walked, Ianto. Do you not remember?”

“No. How long have we been here?”

“Just a few minutes,” says Owen as he sets down his glass. It's not as empty as Ianto's, so he realizes that he must have downed the first half in one go.

“I remember being at the Hub. Jack was fucking Gwen, and then we were here. I was thinking of ways to kill him.” Of course this isn't meant to be hyperbole, Ianto is actually planning ways to kill him over and over again.

“Don't talk like that,” Tosh says.

“He's probably just letting off steam,” Owen says between sips. “I bet it doesn't mean anything, she was just convenient.”

Tosh stops rubbing his back and keeps her hand on his shoulder. “Do you really think so, Owen? I think Gwen has real feelings for him.”

“Well,” Owen leans forward in his seat with a look like he's about to let them in on a secret. “Gwen's not quite the person you think she is. You see, she and I had a thing for a bit. She isn't so faithful to her precious boyfriend.”

Tosh and Ianto just give dull looks back to Owen. “Yeah, we all knew that,” says Ianto.

Owen sputters and leans back against the booth. “What do you mean you all knew? How did you know?”

“You weren't exactly subtle, Owen. It became a sort of joke among the rest of us.” Tosh adds.

“Well, then you know, she's not one to take too seriously. She'll have moved on in a couple days. Jack's just blowing off steam the only way he knows how.”

Ianto takes another long drink off his pint. “He still didn't have to fuck her right there and then. We used to fight over her attraction to him, and he would know perfectly well how mean it is.”

“I know, Ianto,” says Tosh, “But Owen's probably right that Jack's not likely thinking about anything right now. I don't think he was doing it for revenge. He was probably feeling rejected and needed an ego boost, and it's Jack Harkness we're talking about. Sex is the answer to everything for him. Sometimes I think he needs a twelve step program.”

“I don't want to go back.”

“You don't have to, mate,” says Owen. “We're giving you the day off and we'll let him know that it's because he was being a complete and utter arse.”

“Thanks, but I don't think I can continue to work there at all. This is why you're not supposed to get involved with people at work. The break up is too hard.”

“No, you can't quit!” Tosh looks devastated. “For one, you know that there's protocols and we'd be forced to retcon you. I couldn't live with that Ianto. I don't want you out of my life. I'm insisting that you stay, even if it's just for me.”

“Thanks, Tosh.”

“Maybe take a week and see if it's any better going to work. I'm sure it won't always be as bad as this day.”

“You're probably right, Tosh. I should give us both some time apart before making any decisions.”

“All right then,” says Owen. “We'll tell him that you're taking the week off, paid, and we'll update you on any developments.”

“Yes,” agrees Tosh. “I want to have dinner with you all the time this week. I won't take no for an answer.”

“Okay.” Ianto downs the rest of his drink. “But right now I just want to go home and sleep.”

“We'll walk you there,” says Tosh. Owen chugs the rest of his drink as they slide out of the booth.


	6. Chapter 6

A week later, Ianto shows up at the office at ten to eight. He had dinner with Tosh pretty much every other night, but he didn't let her talk about work or Jack much. All she was able to tell him was that Gwen had broken up with Rhys and was not shy about public displays of affection with Jack. Ianto figures that Tosh just wanted to prepare him for coming back to work.

Ianto arrived much later than his previous arrival time because he didn't want to spend any extra time than necessary at the office, at least until he knew he could handle it. Their official start time was eight, so he arrived with only just enough time to get coffee ready at eight. He also intended to leave directly at six.

Ianto looks around and sees that Jack is in his office at his desk, but he doesn't see anyone else around. He goes directly to the coffee machine and starts it up, eager to stick to routine and a schedule. He has low expectations of the day turning out all right and is nervous and on edge. As the coffee machine starts to make noise and the aroma wafts out, he's not surprised to see Jack's shadow stand up at his desk before he appears at the door. Ianto determinedly does not look directly at him, but busies himself. Jack doesn't approach any closer, but goes back into his office, apparently satisfied that it is Ianto at the coffee machine and not a ghost.

The cog door alarms go off as Tosh enters and smiles at Ianto. She quickly drops her bag at her desk and comes right over to the kitchen area. “Hey, how are you feeling this morning?”

Ianto pours her cup and one for himself before answering. “I'm not ready for this. I'm too nervous.”

“Don't worry, Ianto. Owen and I will have your back on anything.”

“Really, Owen?”

“You know he doesn't really mean all that stuff he says to you, right?”

“You could have fooled me.”

“Well, he's a right bastard to everyone, but he likes a lot of us anyway. And honestly, I think he's a bit put out about Gwen parading around Jack like she's won some sort of prize when she was never that into him.”

“Yeah, she didn't leave Rhys for Owen, which would imply that she doesn't think he was worth it.”

“So, he's on your side, even if it's for really stupid reasons.”

Ianto chuckled. “I guess that's alright then.” Ianto gives a deep sigh and puts his cup on the counter. “I guess I ought to get this over with now.” He pours a coffee into Jack's favorite mug and sugars it just the way he likes it. “I still have to do my job well, after all.”

Ianto knocks before entering Jack's office. In the past, he wouldn't have waited for an answer, but now he's too frightened of walking in on him and Gwen, especially since he knows what Jack likes to get up to in the mornings. Jack calls out for him to come in and he enters with the mug. Ianto places it on the desk and turns to leave.

Jack speaking stops him short. “How are you, Ianto?”

Ianto turns slowly, trying to decipher if Jack means that sincerely or is just trying to see if Ianto is going to be polite to him. When Ianto takes in Jack's expression, he decides that he's being sincere. That doesn't really matter though, because Ianto has no intention of telling him how he really is. “All the better for being back, sir. I had a relaxing vacation.”

Jack looks puzzled as Ianto turns around again and successfully walks out of the office, closing the door behind him. He sits at Owen's desk to get some work done next to Tosh before heading down to the archives when Owen comes in. That must mean that it's 8:30 and Gwen would be in soon as well. He goes to make their coffees.

He is just deciding whether or not to put a laxative in Gwen's coffee when he hears her voice. He looks out into the hub and realizes that the door hadn't opened and yet she's talking inside Jack's office with the door closed. That means two things, that she must be talking very loudly for it to carry out that far, and that she had stayed the night in Jack's bed. Ianto fleetingly wonders if Jack had even bothered to change the sheets after their last encounter before curling up with her in them.

He shakes the thought from his head and heads down with the unadulterated coffee. He puts Gwen's on her empty desk and brings Owen his. As he is about to turn and go down to the archives, all three of their heads swiveled towards the obscene sounds that Gwen is now making in the office.

“Yeah, we should have warned you, mate. This is every morning now,” Owen says apologetically.

Ianto just stares and queries, “Was it this loud when it was me?”

Owen almost spits out his coffee in surprise of Ianto's question and his nonchalance.

“No, did you get up to morning sex with him in there?” Tosh is blushing slightly at asking a personal question.

“You all weren't in yet most of the time, but yes, Jack always likes to come at least once before breakfast.” Ianto looks at Tosh and realizes that while he's sad, it's not making him cry. It doesn't even seem like it's really happening in some ways, and he feels pretty good about not being a part of it anymore. “He prefers blow jobs in the morning,” he says as he gives a wink and sidles off to the archives.

In the archives, he's able to get his mind off things and focus on the task at hand. This is a good improvement over the week at home when he couldn't seem to focus on anything and mostly just tried not to cry. Being confronted with the actual reality of Jack and Gwen together and Jack not seeming to care that Ianto is gone from his bed, just makes it easier. It was the right thing to break up, and Gwen could have him.


	7. Chapter 7

After Ianto brings Jack his coffee, Jack's perplexed. Ianto had kept up his mask that he used at the beginning of his employment, when he was hiding Lisa. Jack's unnerved by the fact that Ianto is essentially saying that their friendship is over as well. Jack had been looking forward to Ianto coming back to the office since he misses him, and not just the sex, but their talks in the office and the advice Ianto would give him as well. Jack just doesn't trust Gwen's advice and doesn't want to encourage her about a further relationship. Hell, he doesn't even want her sleeping over, but she had nowhere else to go since she told Rhys he could stay at the flat. She said that it was only fair since she was breaking up with him and not the other way around, butthen she had promptly brought several boxes of her things over to the hub and put all her clothes in his wardrobe. It's now so stuffed that everything would wrinkle and it defeats the point of hanging them up. All her things are also in his bathroom, and she doesn't clean up after herself. After only a week, he feels like his tiny room has shrunk and become a mess. He realizes that he doesn't clean up either anymore and that Ianto must have been doing it.

While Jack likes curling up with Gwen every night after enthusiastic sex, she's like an octopus around him, and he couldn't get out of the bed without her waking and pulling him back in. It takes about a half hour of conversation for her to let go enough for him to leave the room. She really doesn't seem to understand that he doesn't need sleep, and he doesn't want to spend his time just watching her sleep. It didn't take long for him to appreciate all the nights that Ianto just let him leave without complaint, even if they did fight about it that last night.

So now that Ianto is back, Jack's kind of hoping for a reconciliation. Maybe he could continue screwing Gwen as well and have the best of both worlds. Although, she really needs to get her own place soon.

Gwen then emerges from Jack's room, freshly showered and dressed. Even though she's now sleeping in the hub, she doesn't get to work any earlier and just uses the extra time for sleep. She probably needs it though, since Jack is energetically keeping her awake later than normal. She really is a great lay, enthusiastic with stamina. He's excited to introduce her to toys and games. He thinks of her tied to the bed with nipple clamps on those large breasts and her legs open. She would be dripping wet as he would tease her mercilessly and then put a plug in her arse while he fucks her hard, filling her up completely. Last night he came on her breasts and then licked it up.

“Good morning, sweetie,” Gwen says, breaking Jack from his thoughts. He has already made himself hard with his daydream and he still needs his morning sex. Since Ianto is still ice cold towards him, he would just have to get it from Gwen.

“Come here, gorgeous.” He pulls her on to his lap and kisses her deeply. She responds in kind, straddling him and rubbing against his hard cock. He pulls back from the kiss and strokes his thumb over her swollen lip. “I want to fuck this mouth of yours, right now. Will you do that for me?”

“I'll suck you off, Jack, but I don't like it when you thrust into my mouth. It's too uncomfortable for me.”

“Oh, but I could make you like uncomfortable. I was just thinking of something I could show you tonight. Have you ever been tied up during sex?”

Gwen pulls back suddenly. “No,” she says decisively. “That's not something I'm even remotely interested in.”

“I bet I could change your mind if you just give it a chance. Don't you trust me? I'll teach you how to do it safely.”

“No,” says Gwen in a manner that brooks no conversation. “I do not want to be restrained in any way. Do you really want your partner to be tied up? That's not normal.”

“It's plenty normal,” Jack huffs. “People do it all the time. It's just for play and not a serious restraint. I could even use the starter cuffs that have a catch on the side so you can get out any time you want.”

“I'm not having this conversation, Jack.”

“Okay, well, will you tie me up? I like it both ways and you can do things to me.”

“No, Jack, I want my partner to be a full partner and participant.”

Jack can see that he isn't going to get anywhere this morning. “Fine. Will you still give me a blow job, at least?” The moment has fizzled, but Jack really does like to come at least once to get the day started.

“Okay, but you also have to get me off. I'm not going to spend the entire day horny.”

“Yes, ma'am!” Jack says enthusiastically. He unzips himself and pulls his cock out as Gwen gets down on her knees and tentatively starts to suck. She isn't as good as Ianto had become, but Ianto had been very single minded about becoming better and taking direction, almost as if he was being graded. The first time Gwen had gone down on Jack, he tried to tell her what he liked, but she took it as a complaint. She just doesn't respond well to any attempts to change her technique, so he's learning to just be quiet and let her do her thing. It takes him a lot longer to come this way, but not in a good way. He doesn't feel teased, he feels like a chore. She doesn't seem to like doing it, which he finds strange because he loves giving blow jobs. He wishes that she would give him more direction on what she likes, but she doesn't seem to want to do that either. In any case, he's starting to realize that while she really likes sex and they've been great at what they've been doing, she doesn't want anything different or to try anything new. So he's not getting the morning blow jobs that he's used to from Ianto, but he likes them too much to stop asking. He figures that she'll eventually come around to taking some direction. Eventually he comes and he watches Gwen try to swallow it all down, but some dribbles out over her lips. Jack pulls her forward and licks it off, kissing her deep to taste himself.

“Now it's your turn,” he says as he plops her on the desk and pulls her trousers off. He sticks her feet in the air and licks, flicks, and teases her until she's moaning and begging to come. He finally has mercy on her and sticks two fingers inside of her as he flicks her clit with his tongue and she comes screaming and arching her back. His face is messy with her juices, and he's hoping she'll lick him clean the way he did to her, but she just hands him a tissue from the nearby box. Slightly disappointed, he cleans himself off.

“You are amazing at that, sweetie. I had no idea what I was missing before,” says Gwen as she puts her clothes to rights. “I guess when two people just fit so perfectly like we do, the sex just comes naturally.” Jack doesn't feel like it's a good time to disagree and bring up how he's always trying to improve on his performance and abilities. “I've never come so hard as I do with you.” She kisses him. “I love you, Jack. I know that we are meant to be. It's why I broke through the retcon and came back to you, because my heart couldn't be without you.”

Jack freezes. What the fuck? While he really likes sleeping with her and feels intense passion whenever they are together, he thought he had been perfectly clear that this isn't a relationship. “Gwen, I don't think I can give you the love you need.”

“Oh, Jack,” Gwen interrupts, “I don't expect you to be ready to tell me just yet. And I know that you think that you are incapable of love, but that's just people putting lies into your head. One day, I'll break though to you and you'll be healed again. I promise I will keep your heart safe.”

“Gwen, that's not what I mean. I can't love you, and I can't be the kind of boyfriend you want.”

“Jack, I'm willing to put in the time and go slowly and wait for the day that you're ready.”

“So you're okay with this not being a relationship? That means that I can't commit to you, and I'm not making any promises.”

“Ianto really messed with your head, didn't he?”

“No, I...”

“I won't make you make any promises, Jack. I'll wait for the perfect moment. When the moment is right, you'll know.”

Jack isn't entirely sure what she's saying. “I'm not making promises Gwen.”

“Okay, Jack. Just know that I'm here for you.”

Gwen walks over to the door and stops before opening it, “And I'll be here for you at lunch for a proper go, eh?” She winks. Jack smiles back his big smile. She likes sex as much as he does, and that is definitely worth the trouble.

“Oh yeah. I'll be ready.”


	8. Chapter 8

Gwen finds a cup of cooling coffee on her desk and realizes that Ianto must be back. She finds a delight in the fact that he must have been out there while she was screaming in pleasure. Jack and her really do just meld perfectly sexually. She never heard them going at it at work, so Ianto couldn't have been satisfying Jack the way she was. She doesn't mind the others hearing her, because she's proud of having won her man and the fact that she's getting so much pleasure from him. It makes her feel good to think that they are jealous of her.

At lunch time, Ianto finally comes up from the archives. He must have been hiding from her down there. She knows she musn't be mean to him and she should feel pity for him, because she knows she would be devastated if she lost Jack, and so Ianto must be having a hard time.

“How's Chinese for lunch today?” Ianto asks the room in general.

“Sounds great,” says Tosh.

“Get my regular!” shouts Owen from the autopsy bay.

“That would be great, dear, thank you,” says Gwen in her sweetest voice. She tries to convey sympathy through her expression.

As Ianto goes upstairs to wait for the delivery in the tourist office, Gwen realizes that it's time for her lunchtime sex with Jack. She's never had so much sex as in this past week. and it just makes her want even more. She slips up to Jack's office and notices Tosh glancing at her. Poor dear is likely jealous since she doesn't ever get to have sex, or at least good sex. She isn't the type to get off with a stranger, and she hasn't had a boyfriend the whole time Gwen has known her, so it must have been ages for her.

Gwen goes into Jack's office and locks the door behind her. “Hey, sexy,” she says as she immediately pulls her t-shirt up and off her body, tossing it to Jack, who is grinning like a boy with candy. She's more than willing to give him her candy. “It's time for your treat.”

Jack almost giggles as he quickly unbuckles his belt, pulls down his braces, and pushes his trousers and pants down. He sits in his chair with his cock already hard and proudly standing. Gwen gives a bit of a strip tease as she slowly rolls towards him and tosses each item of clothing at him. Last are her lacy panties that he catches and holds on to. She stands straddling him with her hands on his shoulders and bends down and kisses him. He pulls her close and she falls down to his lap and immediately starts wriggling and thrusting. They break their kiss and Gwen opens the, now well-stocked, drawer and pulls out a condom, putting it on him. She then raises herself up and plunges down on his cock with a groan. She then picks herself back up and thrusts down hard again. She keeps up a fast and punishing pace, but she's so horny and ready to come. She moves faster and faster, leaning back and letting her breasts bounce freely. Jack leans forward and takes a nipple in his mouth and sucks. She moans and changes her angle so that her clit rubs against him and soon she's clenching and screaming. Jack is following soon after with his low moan into her breasts. He likes the feel of pushing his face between her breasts and being surrounded by their softness.

Tosh is sat at her desk grinding her teeth in frustration. This is ridiculous. It's beyond unprofessional for the workplace, and she can't concentrate with her boss and coworker having sex just beyond the door. Gwen continues to be indiscreet and loud, and even though Jack is quieter, she can hear him as well. In all the time that she has worked for Jack, she has never disliked it like she does now. If she was free to, she would look for a job someplace else. Tosh realizes that she needs to say something to Jack. She has known Jack longer than anyone else there and has the closest friendship with him (even if Gwen thinks that she's the only one that Jack talks to). Jack would probably respond well to her concerns.

Tosh is relieved when Gwen and Jack emerge fully dressed from his office before Ianto comes back down with the food. If she's thoroughly annoyed, than Ianto must be ready to kill someone.

The difficulty is getting Jack on his own. Gwen never leaves the hub without him anymore. They sometimes go out to dinner together, but otherwise, they both stay in all the time that Tosh sees. She figures that Jack probably leaves in the night to go stand on roofs and sometimes takes weevil sightings on his own, but Gwen never leaves Jack on his own.

By the next day, Tosh decides to try to make her own luck. Going to Jack's office, Gwen watches her as if she has every right to be a part of any discussion with Jack. Tosh leaves the door open as she gets Jack's attention. “Jack, I've been having some trouble analyzing some of the alien weaponry. Since you have experience with some of them, could you show me how you use them down in the shooting range when you have time?”

Jack looks eager for something out of the ordinary that lets him play with some fun weapons. While some are just odd and don't make a lot of sense to use with the human body, others are truly fun. “Of course, Tosh. Which ones did you have in mind?”

“The Avoluvian blaster and the Judoon rifle for now.”

“Sure. I'll prep them and you can meet me down there around three in the afternoon.” Jack nearly bounces out of his chair towards the armory. Tosh is also happy to see Jack happy. Even though he's having lots of day time sex with Gwen, he's been grumpier than usual.

Tosh really does want to know more about these particular weapons, but it's nothing important. She walks down to the shooting range right on time. Tosh had spent the last hour fending off questions from Gwen about where Jack was and what Tosh needed him for. Tosh told her exactly what she had Jack doing and tried to make it sound as boring as possible so that Gwen wouldn't decide to tag along. Thankfully, Gwen got lost in the technical language Tosh was using and decided not to follow her.

Right away, Jack starts explaining all the functions on the blaster and the ease with which you can change modes. Tosh takes notes and follows all Jack's instructions, but clearly she isn't acting confused enough, because halfway through the explanation on the use of the safety features, Jack stops mid-sentence. “Tosh, why did you really have me come down here, because there's nothing here that you couldn't have figured out.”

“But an expert showing me is much more effective than me just trying to figure it out.”

“Tosh, what is it really?”

Tosh sighs. “Okay, I do want to talk to you in private, and this is the best way to get you alone.”

Jack puts the weapons down on the table and leans against it, crossing his arms. He starts to look serious and worried. “What about?”

Tosh gives a quick look around for any eavesdroppers. “Gwen,” she finally replies.

Jack immediately frowns and looks down at the ground. “What about her?”

“Jack, I understand that your relationships aren't any of my business, but that's just it. I don't want it to be my business, but the obvious and loud workday sex is distracting and irritating.”

This clearly isn't what Jack was expecting. His mouth hangs open as he stares at Tosh. When he doesn't reply, Tosh continues. “It's disrespectful to expect the rest of us to continue to work diligently and be able to concentrate while you two are moaning and groaning right by us.”

Jack stares open mouthed for another beat before finally pulling himself together. “You're right,” he says simply.

Tosh is expecting some other reaction, maybe laughter, maybe anger, maybe a defensive attitude, but not acceptance, so she doesn't have a reply, just stares.

“I'm sorry, Tosh. I shouldn't have put you in this position where you have to tell me this. I should know better.”

“Thank you, Jack. I wasn't sure if you'd be responsive to my complaint.”

Jack leans back comfortably again and seems to have relaxed into himself. “I hope you always feel like you can talk to me, Tosh. We've known each other a long time now.”

“Yes, but when it comes to Gwen, well, she's a touchy topic.”

Jack comes up and gives Tosh a big warm hug. “You're too important too me, Tosh. You're always there for me.”

“Jack,” Tosh pulls back from the hug a little so that she can look up at him, “what happened with you and Ianto?”

Jack pulls Tosh back in close so he can lean on her, “I don't know, Tosh. I just don't know.” His voice breaks at the end and Tosh is awash with pity for Jack. “I didn't understand what was happening myself until he was gone.”

Tosh can feel tears falling onto her shoulder. “He must have told you something, though.”

Jack pulls away and turns before she can see his face. He puts his hands on his hips and takes a couple of deep breaths. “He told me that he needed to know if he had a future with me. He wanted me to love him, and I can't do that.”

“Oh, Jack. Do you love him?”

“I can't love anyone.”

“Can't or won't?”

Jack looks back at Tosh. “You do know me better than anyone else.”

“Why do you think it would be different with Gwen? Why are you able to tell her what you couldn't tell Ianto?”

“What? I don't tell Gwen that there's a future with me. Every day I tell her otherwise.”

“Well, she tells the rest of us that you two are committed to each other, and she calls you her boyfriend. She even says things like 'if Jack and I get married...' and I see her perusing realty websites for three bedroom houses.”

“That's news to me,” says Jack. “I keep telling her that I can't commit to her and that there's no future with me. Although she does seem to respond in ways that she thinks she can change that fact. I mean, we're not even monogamous.”

This shocks Tosh who has had to listen to Gwen prattle on all day. “That is definitely not what she thinks. You need to have a long talk with her instead of having sex in your office.”

“Yeah, I guess so.” Jack pauses and bites his lip. “So, how's Ianto doing?”

“Honestly, he hasn't been real open with me about it, although he couldn't even speak when you first got with Gwen right in front of everyone. That was mean, Jack.”

Jack looks chagrined. “I know. I think I was just angry at him and wanted him to feel as bad as I did. I guess I still do.”

“Well, you shouldn't. If he needs more than you can give, than he needs to be free to go out and find it.”

“I know. I really do, but I'm still angry about it.”

“Do you want him back?”

Jack doesn't answer at first. “I wish he would continue our sexual relationship.”

“You know that's not the important part, right Jack?”

“I miss his company, too.”

“Is that it?”

Jack thinks for a minute and doesn't look directly as Tosh. “Yeah, that's all it was.”

“Well, then. You need to let him go and stop rubbing Gwen in his face.” Tosh turns and goes back up to the main hub. She decides that she needs to help Ianto find someone better than Jack, because Jack is acting like an arse.


	9. Chapter 9

Jack knows Tosh is right. He also knows that he wasn't entirely truthful with her because he missed Ianto a lot more than he said. He hadn't expected to, but he feels like someone has cut a piece out of him and taken it away, and he knows exactly what that feels like literally. He keeps turning around expecting him to be there, and being disappointed when Gwen is there instead. He isn't sure if it would be better or worse to have no one there when he turns around, but he knows that he wants Ianto there to roll his eyes and respond with a snarky comment.

Concentrating on work would be impossible for the rest of the workday, so Jack takes his time cleaning up the shooting range and putting the weapons back in the armory. Five o'clock finally rolls around and a weevil alert comes through. Jack excitedly takes Owen and runs out to wrangle the weevil. Jack relishes in the physical exertion, taking out his anger and frustrations on the weevil.

They load the unconscious weevil into the back of the SUV and Owen gives Jack a strange look.

“What?!” exclaims Jack, “Are you going to give me a talking to as well?”

“I don't know what you're on about, mate, but you seem to be really angry at that weevil. I mean, I'll have to give it first aid before we lock it up.”

“I was trying to keep it from eating you, Owen. Maybe next time I won't bother.” Jack moves around the vehicle and gets in on the driver's side. Owen rushes over to jump in the passenger side as Jack starts up the car.

“I just mean,” continues Owen, “that you were unnecessarily rough on it. Did it eat your hamster or something?” 

“Just leave it, Owen. I got a little carried away. It won't happen again.”

“Yeah, sure, whatever.”

Jack puts the SUV in gear and speeds away even though there isn't any rush. Owen grabs the dash to keep upright in his seat and Jack notices that maybe he's driving a bit recklessly. “Sorry about that,” he says and slows down to a reasonable speed.

“Whatever bug's in your pants, you need to chill out. Is Gwen giving you a hard time?”

“Don't worry about it, Owen. I've got it all under control.”

Owen looks at Jack and decides that it's not worth pushing it as Jack looks murderous.

After they dump the weevil in the cells, Owen decides it doesn't need any medical attention, although that likely has more to do with Owen just wanting to leave. Jack is happy to see the back of him as he just wants to be alone. He goes up to his office and pulls out the scotch. He pours a glass and relaxes in his chair, hoping to not think about how he's been hurting Ianto these weeks with his loud carrying on with Gwen. The guilt is starting to eat into his stomach and the warmth of the scotch helps to tamp it down.

Just as he takes a deep breath, he sees Gwen's head pop out of the hole leading to his bedroom. He grimaces as he realizes that he had actually forgotten that she would be here.

“I thought I heard you messing about up here. Why didn't you come down?”

“I just needed some time alone,” Jack mutters back. Gwen comes up to him anyway.

“Rough time with the weevil, or was Owen being his usual charming self?” Gwen pours herself a glass of the scotch and Jack is disappointed that she's apparently joining him. 

Jack wonders at this feeling since he remembers Ianto doing the same thing several times when he was brooding and drinking in his office, and he was always glad for the company at those times. “No, it went fine. I just needed to think.”

“Anything I can help with?” asks Gwen as she settles herself on the edge of Jack's desk.

Jack looks away to hide his scowl as he immediately thinks that she shouldn't be there because that's Ianto's spot. Of course it's not Ianto's spot anymore because Ianto can do better than him. Jack is now even more depressed than when he first sat down.

“Sweetie, let me help you. Tell me what's wrong,” says Gwen as she reaches her hand around to the back of his neck and gently rubs.

Jack decides that he needs to make it clear to her now that there is no future with him. He shrugs off her hand, and she sighs loudly while plopping her glass on the desk. “Fine!” She exclaims as she stands back up and turns her back to him, crossing her arms. “You clearly don't want any comfort right now.”

Jack knows that he has to start talking before she leaves. “Gwen,” he starts and pauses for her to turn back around.

“Yes, Jack?” Gwen's expression is full of hope like she's expecting him to cry in her arms.

“I feel like I tell you all the time, but I don't think I've been clear enough, and I need to be absolutely clear with you.”

“What are you talking about, Jack?”

“Every time that I tell you that I can't give you the love you need or deserve and that I can't build a life with you, you seem to accept it, but at the same time say something about how you'll wait for me.”

“And I mean it, Jack. I'm not going to give up on you.”

Jack sighs in exasperation and his voice gets louder and sharper. “That's just it, Gwen. I'm not saying that I'm not ready or that anyone has told me I'm not good enough, I'm laying out for you that there is no future with me. I will not marry you and settle down. I won't even move in with you or enter into a real relationship with you. And this is not because I think that I can't, it's because I won't. I made this decision a long time ago not to get too involved with anyone.”

Gwen looks like she just got punched in the stomach. “What do you mean, not in a relationship?” She's almost screaming. Jack can see the rage building. “We are already in a relationship, and we already live together! And why would you decide not to do those things with me when you love me!”

“Gwen, we don't live together. You are staying here while you look for a new place and we are not in a relationship. I have repeatedly told you that I won't make promises, and that includes monogamy and future plans. And I've never said that I love you.”

Gwen is flabbergasted. “I know that you love me. I see it in your eyes every time that you make love to me.” Gwen looks determined like she can force Jack to love her if she says it strongly enough. “Are you saying that you've been seeing other people? Is that what you do when you leave our bed in the middle of the night?”

“Our bed?! That's my bed, and I've been asking daily about your apartment search.”

“I've been looking for a new place for the two of us to live in. You asked me to move in here with you, but it's too small here for us so I've been finding OUR place.”

“I'm not leaving here, Gwen, and I'm not moving in with you.”

“You already have, Jack. We already live together and it works. You can't go backwards, only forwards.”

“You're not listening, I don't want to go forwards.”

“Are you breaking up with me?”

“No,” says Jack, but he suddenly isn't sure, he hadn't even thought that they were together enough to use the phrase 'break up'. He had just wanted to make sure that she knows what to expect from him, but maybe it's not such a good idea to keep fucking her after all. “I just need to make it clear that I am not going to be monogamous and I'm not going to plan a future, so if you have a better offer, you should take it.”

Gwen throws her hands up in the air. “Well, it's too late for that, I already left my better offer in order to be with you.”

“And I told you not to do that, if for nothing else, so that you would have a place to live.”

“Are you fucking other people, Jack? Are you still buggering Ianto in the archives?!”

“Ianto won't come anywhere near me,” Jack says quietly. He's suddenly struck with how things have reversed. It wasn't that long ago that Ianto was asking him if he was screwing Gwen, however Ianto wasn't yelling and he was asking in a roundabout way so as not to be confrontational. Jack had found that annoying before, but now he is suddenly missing the quiet style.

“Jack,” Gwen is yelling and her eyes are fiery. She points her finger at him to try to give herself authority. Jack has to admit that she is never as attractive as when she is passionate about something. “I won't tolerate infidelity. I insist that you be faithful to me, and I won't stand for you fucking Ianto behind my back!”

“Seriously?!” Jack jumps out of his seat. “I thought you'd be more open because of your obvious problems with fidelity yourself! I never once expected you to be faithful to me anymore than you were to Rhys!”

“How dare you!”

“How dare I? You're the one being hypocritical. You clearly don't have any problems fucking around behind your boyfriend's back. We all knew about Owen, and you were with me before you broke up with Rhys. And what about before you got here? Did you make your way through the detectives?”

Gwen looks murderous, but she takes some deep breaths realizing that she has nothing to say to this. She didn't think anyone besides Tosh knew about Owen and she had been certain no one knew about her behavior as a PC. “I think we need to just cool down before we say anything else.”

Jack knows this is probably a smart thing to do. Both of them have strong tempers, and he has a feeling that this fight would end in blood or tears. He takes a few breaths and paces while facing away from Gwen. “You're right. We should just think about things and regroup. Maybe we can discuss these issues another time without blowing up at each other.”

Jack turns back around and sees Gwen taking control of herself as well. The view of her breathing heavy and with flashing eyes is making Jack look forward to make-up sex. He's always more determined to keep fucking her after fighting because of the way she looks at times like these. “Why don't we just go to bed and forget about this for now,” he says.

“Are you kidding me?” Gwen responds. “I can't look at you right now. I think you need to sleep on the sofa tonight, and if you make it up to me tomorrow morning, I'll think about letting you back in the bed tomorrow night.”

“You're kicking me out of my bed?” Jack's anger quickly riles back up. “It's my bed!”

“And it's mine, too, and you're not going to be in it tonight.” Gwen spins around and flounces over to the manhole. Getting down the ladder is hard to do in a huff. When she gets low enough, she slams the cover down.

Jack grabs his neglected glass, downs the rest of the scotch in it, and grabs his coat off the rack. Jack Harkness doesn't sleep on the sofa.


	10. Chapter 10

Jack presses the man against the wall of the alley behind the club, roughly kissing him. He's blond, young, and with a slight build, but most of all, he's incredibly fit. Jack pulls the man's shirt up so he can rub his hands against his chest. The other man (Jack hasn't actually gotten a name from him) is busy unbuckling Jack's belt and unzipping his flies. Jack feels the man's hand push into his pants and wrap around him, and he moans. Jack quickly shoves the man's pants down and presses their cocks together. They both grasp the other's hips and rock and thrust against one another, moaning and gasping loudly. Jack spins the other man around and impatiently thrusts two fingers inside him. The man lets out a yelp and Jack stills.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just surprised me is all. Keep going.”

Jack wastes no time and continues his fingering and stretching while sucking on the man's perfect pale neck. He hopes to leave a nice bruise there, not that he will see it the next day. Jack pulls his fingers out and digs in his coat pocket for a condom and lube. Getting himself sheathed and lubed in record time, he presses himself against the other man and pauses. “Are you ready?”

“God, yes! Get inside me gorgeous!” Jack thrusts in balls deep and starts a punishing rhythm. The blond holds himself against the wall and pushes back at every thrust. Jack reaches around and strokes the man's cock, giving a twist on the end that always got Ianto going fast. This man seems to respond to it as well and is panting in no time.

“Shit, I'm going to come already!”

“I'm there, too. Go ahead and come,” Jack pants into the man's ear.

The blond tenses and shakes as he yells a guttural growl. Jack lets himself come right after and holds the man around the waist, clutching him close. They both take a few seconds to get all their senses and motor abilities back before pulling apart and starting to put their clothes to rights.

“That was amazing, gorgeous. What did you say your name was again?”

“Jack, and uh, I don't remember yours either.”

“I don't think I ever told you,” the blond says with a wink. “It's Peter, by the way. Do you make it a habit to come to this club?”

“Not so much lately.”

“Well, if you're ever around here again, I wouldn't mind a second go. Find me if you need a warm body again.”

Jack chuckles. This is what he wants, no discussions about the future and love, just someone warm and beautiful, although he can't exactly curl up with him on the street and go to sleep.

“I'll see you around,” says the blond, Peter, and he practically skips down the alley to the main road.

Jack had been hoping to find a bed for the night, but Peter had suggested the alley saying that he had roommates who didn't approve of one night stands coming around the place. Jack leans against the dirty wall and tries to figure out what to do next. He can't go back to his own bed, and he just finished with his pull for the night. Where he really wants to be is with Ianto, but that isn't an option right now. Or maybe it is. Jack knows he at least wants to repair his friendship with Ianto, and maybe now that he's satisfied and not looking for sex is the best time. He could tell Ianto about Gwen throwing him out and ask to stay the night as a friend. 

Jack rings the bell to Ianto's flat and waits for him to answer. It's only around one in the morning and he knows that Ianto is likely awake. After nearly a minute, Jack is starting to rethink that maybe Ianto is asleep and didn't hear him, or worse, maybe he looked out and saw who it is and decided to pretend not to be home. Or he might have gone out and found a warm body of his own?

The door opens suddenly and there stands Ianto, clearly woken up and looking adorably disheveled. “What's wrong? Is there an alert?”

Of course, Jack thinks, Ianto would assume there was an emergency. “No emergency, I just need a favor.”

Ianto sighs. “I'm not in the mood to give you any favors, Jack.”

“I just need somewhere to sleep. Gwen's thrown me out of my own bed when I tried to explain that she doesn't live there permanently. Somehow this ended up with me not there at all. I'm not really sure how that happened.”

Ianto smiles a little cruelly. “Jack Harkness without a bed to sleep in. Will wonders never cease.”

Jack chuckles. “Yeah, it's been kind of a rough night trying to find a bed.”

“Did you try down in the club district?”

“Yes, actually.” Ianto looks surprised, since he had really been joking. “But the guy I pulled wouldn't take me home with him. I guess I can't always get what I want.” Jack looks like he's talking about more than just his inability to get into the stranger's bed.

Ianto sighs, “Jack, if this is some effort to get into my bed again...”

“No,” Jack interject, “I actually did get off with the guy.” Jack realizes that isn't helping as Ianto frowns. “What I mean is, I'm not here for sex, I really do just need a place to sleep.”

Ianto looks down at the ground and leans on the door. After a moment, he sighs and says, “I guess you can come in then, but you're on the sofa.”

“The sofa? I promise I won't try anything if you let me in the bed.”

“Jack, I know that's not true, and I don't trust myself either. You're getting the sofa.” Ianto opens the door wide to let Jack in.

Ianto closes and locks the door behind Jack and leads the way to the living room. “Do you need a drink or anything?” Ianto is always one for the niceties.

“I could use some water if it's not too much trouble,” replies Jack.

“Of course. You always did get thirsty after sex,” says Ianto with a lighthearted tone. 

Jack smiles back at him. He's thankful that Ianto is being more relaxed than expected. “I definitely had to rehydrate after you. You always wore me out, Tiger.”

Ianto smiles at the lie. He knows that he couldn't have been anything special to someone so experienced as Jack. “Don't call me Tiger.” Ianto hands Jack a water.

“Okay, Tiger. I'm definitely keeping the nickname now.”

Ianto rolls his eyes. “I'll get you set up on the sofa.” Ianto goes into his bedroom and grabs a spare pillow from his bed. In the hallway he takes a sheet out of the linen closet and a blanket. Coming back into the living room, Jack is sitting on the sofa, looking right at home. Suddenly Ianto is taken back to a time in which Jack had a regular side of the sofa and wouldn't have asked for water but would have gotten it himself. It hits him in the chest and he has to catch his breath. “Here's some linens for you and a pillow. I trust you can get yourself set up. I'm going to bed. Good night, Jack.”

Jack is confused why Ianto's face has suddenly fallen and his mood has changed. “Good night. See you in the morning.”

Ianto quickly turns and goes back to his bedroom. He locks the bedroom door after himself, but he isn't sure why. He sits on the bed and takes some deep breaths to calm down. Finally, he takes off his dressing gown and gets back into bed. Getting back to sleep is difficult because all he can think about is Jack in the next room. Would he have taken off all his clothes or kept some on? Was he thinking about Ianto? Would he try to come into the bedroom? Would Ianto be more disappointed if Jack did or did not try to come in? Ianto finally falls asleep while imagining Jack curled around him.

In the other room, Jack is thinking about Ianto, but that might have been because the pillow smells like him. So maybe Jack does sleep on the sofa sometimes, he thinks, it just has to be the right sofa. Jack is pushing his nose deep into the pillow and taking in deep breaths. This might be the last time he gets a pillow that smells of Ianto. For some reason, Jack sleeps better than he has in the past few weeks.


	11. Chapter 11

In the morning, Ianto immediately remembers that Jack is there, or at least he was. He wonders whether Jack really stayed the whole night or not. He puts on his dressing gown and opens the door. Jack is awake and sitting on the sofa, reading a book. He's dressed only in his underpants, and he looks up as Ianto peers in.

“Morning, Tiger,” Jack says with a broad grin.

“Great, this is really going to be a thing,” grumbles Ianto. Jack was always a morning person whereas Ianto is grumpy before his coffee. “I'm going to shower, but you can use it when I'm done.”

Jack refrains from offering to share, but he really has to bite his tongue.

Ianto's shower is in his ensuite bathroom, and he quickly jumps in and tries not to think about Jack and his bare chest. He really doesn't want to wank off in the shower while Jack is there.

Jack sits on the sofa in his pants and finds that he can't not think about Ianto in the shower, and he has a massive hard on already. Deciding that he has enough time while Ianto is in the shower, he pushes his pants down his thighs and takes his cock in hand. Setting up a quick pace, he imagines Ianto in the shower, washing himself, soapy, maybe with a hard on of his own. He imagines Ianto touching himself and using the soap to slide his fist up and down. Jack starts to thrust into his own hand and groans quietly as he pulls and tries to get himself off quickly. Imagining Ianto exploding in orgasm and spraying come on the shower wall does it for him, and he comes in his hand with a grunt and a moan. As Jack's senses start working again, he registers that the shower is still running and so he's safe to not get caught. Jack stands and goes to the guest toilet to clean himself up. He stays only in his pants since he'll get into the shower shortly.

Ianto quickly dresses and can't help wearing one of Jack's favorite suits. As he enters the living room, he sees Jack in the same place in his pants and looking lickable. Ianto takes control of himself. “I'll make some coffee so it'll be ready when you get out of the shower.”

“Thanks. I won't be a moment.” Jack knows he won't take long, since he's already gotten off, he's pretty sure he won't get hard again in the shower.

Ianto starts the coffee and tries not to linger looking at Jack's arse as he walks into the next room. Maybe not jerking off in the shower was a mistake because he's having a really hard time not getting hard.

When Jack comes back from his shower and is only wearing a towel, Ianto turns away. “Jack, could you put some clothes on, please.”

“Too much for you,” teases Jack with a grin.

Ianto remains serious, “Yes, actually. I'd really appreciate it if you would put some clothes on.”

Well, at least he's still attracted to me, thinks Jack. Maybe he can use that, since he still wants to have both Gwen and Ianto as sexual partners. He's tempted to press against Ianto and push his lustful feelings, but looking at Ianto's face, he looks pained and sad. Jack immediately stops and realizes that he's hurting him. “Of course. I'll be right back.” Jack goes and picks up his clothes by the sofa and goes into the bathroom to get dressed. Sure enough, he comes back out shortly to get his coffee. “Thank you,” he says quietly as he takes the mug.

The two of them drive into work together, much like the old days. As they walk in together through the cog door, they're talking and laughing comfortably.

“Where have you been?!” Gwen's voice echoes through the hub. Ianto looks up in shock as he had not been expecting a reception. It was still earlier than the others come into work. He realizes that Gwen must have realized that Jack was gone sometime in the night. “I've been worried sick!”

Jack crosses his arms and Ianto recognizes Jack's defensive posture. This will not be good because Jack is completely stubborn when he gets like this, and Gwen seems to be likewise irrational. Ianto quickly moves out of the way and goes to start some coffee.

“Where do you think I was? You threw me out of my bed so I had to find another one.”

Gwen seems to register that Jack came in with Ianto and puts two and two together. “You were with Ianto? I thought I made it perfectly clear that I wouldn't stand for you sleeping with other people, Jack.”

This is news to Ianto who thought that Gwen was giving Jack the open relationship he insists on. Ianto isn't about to but in and disabuse Gwen of the notion that he had slept with Jack because he's a little happy to give her some of her own medicine. Now she can be the one jealous of him, however, Jack sets her straight anyway.

“I didn't sleep with Ianto, Gwen. He just gave me a place to sleep that wasn't that disgusting couch.”

Gwen relaxes, “So you didn't have sex last night?”

“Oh, I had sex last night, but it was a stranger against an alley wall who wouldn't take me to his home. Ianto was kind enough to take me in.”

Gwen's mouth hangs open in shock. “You fucked some stranger! How could you? How could you do that to me? To us?”

“Gwen, I've told you over and over, I will keep seeing other people, most definitely if you throw me out. I will not be monogamous.”

So Jack is still having the same arguments, only with Gwen now, thinks Ianto. Although Ianto is confused as to why Jack would be with Gwen, who apparently is looking for monogamy and Ianto had never demanded it. It doesn't seem like Jack has improved his situation at all. Maybe she's just that good in bed and Ianto isn't, he grumbles to himself.

The cog door opens and Tosh comes in, and Gwen and Jack clam up. The fight is suddenly put on hold. Tosh can tell that she has walked in on something and tries to ignore it as she goes to her desk. Ianto brings a coffee down to her as Jack and Gwen both go into his office and close the door.

“What did I just walk in on?” asks Tosh.

“Apparently they're okay with having a domestic in front of me, but not you. Interesting.”

“Really? What are they fighting about?” Tosh wants to know if Jack has taken her advice and tried to clear things up with Gwen about their relationship.

“Everything, as far as I can tell.”

“You know, you're not much fun to gossip with. You really don't elaborate enough.”

Ianto smiles at Tosh. “I'll take that as a compliment. Wait, did you and Gwen gossip about me?”

Tosh smirks, “I shouldn't say, that would be gossiping.”

Ianto appreciates Tosh's response. “As long as it was about my prowess.” Ianto turns and goes back to the coffee machine. He knows that he should make coffees for Jack and Gwen but he really doesn't know if they'll be fighting in there or not. He makes the coffees anyway and brings them down on the tray. He knocks on the door to Jack's office and waits for Jack to call for him to come in.

Ianto first notices that Jack is alone in the room, and he hasn't changed into fresh clothes. Ianto places Jack's coffee on his desk and is at a loss what to do with Gwen's.

“So, is Gwen in here?” Ianto asks as he gestures with her coffee, making it obvious why he's asking.

“She's down having a shower. Apparently she was up most of the night wondering where I was.”

“She didn't try to call you?”

“I had turned my phone off.”

Ianto is surprised that Jack would make himself unreachable. He was always available for rift emergencies. He must have been more upset than Ianto had realized. “Well, I'll just leave her coffee here then,” says Ianto, and he sets the coffee mug on the corner of the desk. He turns to leave.

“Ianto?”

“Yes, Jack,” he says as he turns back.

“Thank you, really, for letting me stay over. I needed a friend more than anything last night.”

“No problem, Jack. I would like to be your friend.”

“I'll take you up on that, Tiger.”

The pet name is starting to grow on Ianto.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains some dubious consent material in the second half.

In the next few weeks Ianto gets into a new routine. He's getting used to the new situation and rhythms of the team. In the mornings, he's usually in before Gwen gets up, so Jack and he have started having their old morning conversations, however, they now occur in the kitchen so Gwen doesn't overhear their easy camaraderie. Also, without morning sex in the way, the conversations get deeper and more meaningful, something Ianto both likes and is nervous about. When Gwen emerges from the bedroom, Ianto can tell by the way she takes her mug from him whether she's going to give him a hard or easy time that day. Easy days usually involve Gwen making pitying noises at him and bad days involve glares and her making excuses to get him doing physical labor somewhere away from the main hub and Jack.

Jack and Gwen stop having sex during work hours, at least that the others can hear, and if they were fighting, they were doing it behind closed doors. All in all, it's a more relaxed atmosphere than the few weeks earlier, and it's feeling more normal. Occasionally, Jack sometimes ends up coming round Ianto's late at night, just like that first time, and asks to stay on the sofa. Jack never tries anything on with Ianto on those nights, but sometimes they'll stay up and talk. Ianto isn't sure why Jack doesn't get rid of Gwen on those nights, but he isn't comfortable asking right out. Other days, Gwen and Jack seem happier than ever. Gwen will talk about Jack and her moving into a flat together as if it's a definite plan, and Jack will keep giving Gwen little touches as if he can't wait to get her in private. However, whenever Jack talks with Ianto, he'll deny any plans of getting a flat together or anything relationship-like with Gwen.

Ianto is mostly adjusting well, although, a couple weeks on when the entire team is racing through an abandoned industrial park after a Hoix, he has some trouble with his adjustments. They split up with Jack going solo and the others in teams. Ianto and Owen are paired together and hear Jack getting shredded over the coms. They race over only to find Jack's body and the Hoix gone. Owen takes a look over his injuries and finds that they are healing fast while Ianto kneels down and puts Jack's head on his lap, trying to make him more comfortable. At that moment, Gwen and Tosh come running up, having heard the same thing on the coms. 

Gwen can't help but see the intimacy in Ianto cradling Jack in his lap. She runs right over and tries to gently push Ianto out of the way. “I have him. I'll do it,” she says. Ianto isn't so easily pushed while kneeling on the ground and doesn't want to jostle Jack. He also doesn't want to admit to himself how difficult it is to see Jack like this, dead and bloody, and how he doesn't want to leave his position, however, it doesn't matter because Owen decides to take charge.

“Gwen, let's go. We need to get after that Hoix.”

“No,” she protests, succeeding in pulling Jack's head into her own lap while Ianto surrenders. “My place is here, with Jack.”

“Not now, Gwen. We're the best to go after the Hoix. You're with me, come on!” Owen is standing with his weapon ready, but Gwen just looks up at him. She wants to be the one to go after the Hoix, after all, she is a primary field agent ahead of Ianto and Tosh, but she was instantly jealous when she saw Ianto holding Jack, and she doesn't want to leave them together.

“Go on, Gwen, we'll look after him,” Ianto says, trying to get her to stop wasting time. Gwen never stayed with Jack before when he'd go down in the field. It's like she thinks that's only the job of the partner and not any of the rest of them, thinks Ianto.

“I should stay with him,” she finally decides.

“No, Gwen,” Tosh commands, “I'll stay with him, I've done it plenty of times before. We all care about him. You need to go with Owen to get that bloody Hoix!” Tosh is trying to make it clear that this has nothing to do with who's with who, and everything to do with getting a dangerous alien off the streets of Cardiff. Gwen finally stands and runs after Owen around the side of the building. Tosh does take Gwen's place at Jack's head, but Ianto puts his hands on Jack's chest, willing his heart to beat again. Finally, Jack revives, and Ianto feels like he can breath again.

After a month of this new rhythm, Ianto agrees with Tosh that he should try dating, if only to help get over Jack. He, however, has no idea how he would meet someone since he has no social life, but Tosh comes through saying that she is in a book club and knows a woman in it that she's always thought would be good for him. Ianto's just relieved that he doesn't have to explain that he doesn't want to date any other men, and accepts the blind date offer.

The woman's name is Emily and she has deep brown hair with natural red tints. She has a degree in history and loves to read. She's a little quiet and a lot like Tosh, Ianto notices. He takes her to dinner at an Italian restaurant and tries to keep conversation going so that his mind doesn't wander into how Jack and he never went out on dates, and what it would have been like if they had.

Apparently it's not obvious how Ianto's mind can wander away, because Emily accepts a second date. Ianto drives her home and walks her to her door.

“Thanks for coming out with me tonight. I had a lot of fun,” says Ianto.

“Well, you can thank Tosh. She talked you up quite a bit.”

“I'll make sure to bring her something special into work.” Ianto figures he can pick up her favorite pastry on the way in the next day.

“I had a really good time, too. You tell a good tall tale,” says Emily. 

Ianto only now realizes that his stories may sound a bit fantastical even though he edited out the alien parts. Ianto just chuckles, wondering if he appears to her much the way Jack and his stories seem to him. “Would you like to go out again sometime?”

“Sure. Did you have something in mind?”

“Honestly, no.”

“Good, because I do. How's next Saturday night around seven.”

“That should be fine.” Ianto hesitates because he wants to kiss her, but it's been so long since he's been on a proper first date that he doesn't remember how to transition into it.

Thankfully, Emily leans up and puts her hand behind his neck, pulling him down to meet her. Her lips are soft and gentle, not forceful or demanding. She smells sweet, yet not cloying. She pulls back and he realizes that they were kissing for longer than he intended. He smiles and looks down at his feet.

Emily breaks the silence first. “Call me later, and I'll see you on Saturday.”

“I'll talk to you later then. Bye.” Ianto walks back to his car and makes sure that Emily gets inside the door before leaving. He's happy with how the date went. Her conversation was interesting enough to pull him out of his brooding, and she kept getting him to talk about himself. In some ways she reminded him of when he dated Lisa, but he figures that's probably because it was a regular date and his time with Jack was so unusual.

Ianto goes ahead and calls her the very next day. After work, he goes home at six, and calls Emily right away. The conversation is easy and fluid, but Ianto does find it difficult to think of topics that skirt around what he does for a living. Since Tosh had already told her that she works for a police special forces unit and that Ianto works with her, Ianto doesn't have to use the 'worst tourist office' excuse. He also feels more comfortable pretending to be police, because he can honestly say that he's on call and might have to run out if texted. All in all, she makes him feel relaxed and maybe even happy again.

A couple days later and Ianto is down in the archives. He'd been spending more time down there lately so as to not have to be around Gwen and Jack. He just isn't sure how to act around them sometimes and he's never comfortable when confused. He's constantly overthinking how his actions would be perceived and therefore always does the wrong thing.

He's filing records from 1983 regarding an incursion of unknown aliens that reminded them of chicken frogs, when he hears Jack come in.

“Hey, Tiger. What are you up to?”

“Filing frogs. How are things upstairs. Any new craziness?”

“Nothing unusual. Just personal drama.”

“Oh,” Ianto closes a filing drawer and opens the one below it. “Another fight?” Jack has told Ianto about many of the arguments he has with Gwen during their morning conversations.

“Not really, just a disagreement. No yelling this time.” Jack leans against the side of the filing cabinet Ianto is working in.

“Well, that's something at least,” says Ianto as he places the file in and closes the drawer. He starts to open the top drawer, but Jack reaches over and pushes it closed again. Ianto looks over at Jack for the first time since he entered the room. Jack's eyes are full of pain and there isn't even a hint of his usual smile. Ianto is taken aback. “I thought you said it wasn't a bad fight.”

“It wasn't,” replies Jack.

“Then why do you look so...” Ianto doesn't want to be insulting, but Jack looks terrible. “You just look sad, I guess.”

“Do I? Maybe I'm just tired.”

“Is there anything I can do?” Ianto can't help but put his hand on Jack's arm. He means for it to be comforting, but he's not sure that it is.

Jack puts his other hand on top of Ianto's against his arm and holds it there. Jack leans in, so close that he's almost touching Ianto. “I miss you,” Jack whispers.

It looks like Jack is near to tears and Ianto can't stand to see him like this, almost broken. “Jack, you're scaring me. What's really wrong?”

“Would you believe that I don't know,” Jack says, still very quietly. “I just miss you and how it used to be. Everything seems harder now without you.”

“I'm still here Jack. We talk all the time and we have a real friendship building. I'm not going anywhere.”

“It's not the same, Ianto. I miss the way you'd hold me and kiss me and tell me that it would be all right. I don't have that anymore.” Jack takes his hand off of Ianto's, but then puts it behind Ianto's neck and leans in to kiss him. Ianto lets him, breathing in that unique scent of Jack. The kiss deepens and Ianto isn't sure who did it. Jack slowly turns them around so that he's pressing Ianto against the filing cabinet and is now all hands as he lifts Ianto's shirt and undoes Ianto's belt. The feeling of Jack's hand sliding into his trousers pulls Ianto out of his stupor.

“Wait, Jack.” Jack tries to continue kissing Ianto's jaw, but Ianto puts a hand on Jack's jaw and pushes him just slightly back. “Jack, we shouldn't do this.”

“Why not? Are you not attracted to me anymore? Do you not get hard thinking about me?” Jack punctuates this with stroking Ianto's hard cock through the fabric of his pants. 

Ianto can't deny that he physically wants Jack, but his brain keeps telling him that it's wrong. “This is a bad idea, Jack. Nothing good will come of this.”

“Oh, I promise you'll come very good,” says Jack as he resumes kissing Ianto while slipping his hand into Ianto's pants and wrapping it around his cock. He strokes firmly and Ianto is beyond thinking. He can't even remember why it was a bad idea. He surrenders to the sensations and just moans and groans as Jack gets him close. However, he can't bring himself to touch Jack's cock that must be begging for attention. Something in his brain is still working enough that he knows this isn't right.

Suddenly Jack stops kissing him and pulls his hands out, but before Ianto can ask what's happening, Jack has dropped to his knees and pulled down Ianto's trousers and pants to his thighs. Ianto watches as Jack takes his cock in his mouth, swallowing him down and sucking vigorously. Ianto throws his head back with a moan that he knows is too loud. Jack's fondling his balls and stroking his perineum. Ianto abandons himself to the pleasure and grasps Jack's hair, pulling it as he thrusts into Jack's mouth. It isn't long before Ianto is gasping and comes hard down Jack's throat. Jack swallows it all eagerly and reluctantly releases Ianto.

Ianto looks down at the gorgeous man licking his come from his lips and staring adoringly up at him. “Oh, God. What did we do?!”

Jack stands up. Ianto can now see Jack's erection pressing against his trousers, completely untouched. “What did we do?!” He moans again.

“I hope you just had an amazing orgasm,” says Jack. “What's wrong?”

“Jack, you just cheated on Gwen with me and I, well, I'm sort of seeing someone. I mean we've only gone out once, but it's disrespectful to be carrying on with someone else.” Ianto is babbling as he freaks out.

Jack gets that broken look in his eyes again. “I'm not cheating on Gwen. You know that I'm not only with her and she knows it, too.”

“But this is different, Jack!” Ianto exclaims. “She knows me and is jealous of my being with you. This is terrible! We can't do this again!” Ianto has put his trousers to rights and now throws his hands over his face and starts to pace. “Why didn't you stop when I said? I can't believe I let you keep going! What's wrong with me? We can't do this, Jack. Please, please, don't ever do this to me again.”

Jack now looks shocked at Ianto's reaction. This is something he did not foresee. He's afraid that he's really hurt Ianto and lost all hope with him. “Ianto, please, I'm sorry if I hurt you. I really didn't mean to, I just wanted to make you feel good and forget my worries in you. You always made me feel better before, and I just wanted to get some of that back. I didn't want this. Please, I won't do this to you again. I'm sorry. I'm just so sorry.” Jack has lost his erection with Ianto's despair. He really didn't mean for Ianto to feel this way. The last thing he wanted was to make Ianto feel worse, and now he feels even worse than he did before, even though he still has the taste of Ianto's come in his mouth. “I swear I won't do this to you again, Ianto. Just please, forgive me.”

Ianto takes his hands down from his face and looks at Jack and sees the pain and regret there as tears are welling in his eyes. “Okay. I believe you, but we have to hold to this. We can't do this again. I'm going to keep seeing this woman, and we're not starting any casual sex on the side. I'm not the type of person who wants that.”

“Okay, I promise.” Jack looks at Ianto. “What's her name?”

“What?”

“The woman you're dating, what's her name?”

“Emily.”

“I hope she's nice,” says Jack and then he slowly turns and walks out of the room.

Ianto is just distraught over this development. Those nights that Jack would come over, all those mornings talking alone, and they never did anything like this. He thought they were past this, but here it is, their mutual physical attraction rearing its head. This friendship thing was going to be harder now.

Ianto needs time to himself, and he finds himself wandering through the halls in the bowels of the hub. He's sure he didn't mean to, but he ends up in front of the room in which he had hidden Lisa. He opens the door and goes inside. He expects to be overwhelmed with grief, but it's just an empty room. It's completely empty, in fact, cleaned out of anything that was in it and perfectly cleaned and even painted. It's a plain, white, concrete room, but at one time, it was the end of his life, or felt like it anyway.

In the corner to the left of the door is a folding chair sitting there, making the room not entirely empty. The back of the chair is against the corner and it faces the room. Ianto goes over and sits in the chair and tries to figure out what it's there for. In the chair, he doesn't see anything that would be worth looking at. It's just an empty room.

Ianto feels tears coming to his eyes now that he feels completely alone. Maybe he came to this room because it was a private place where no one could find him. He takes a deep breath to try to keep from crying and tilts his head back. That's when he notices that a security camera has been installed in the corner of the ceiling directly over the chair. He isn't bothered by the presence of the camera; he would have been disappointed if Jack hadn't fixed the security hole of this room. What's curious is that the chair is under the camera, placing it in the blindspot of the room. Who put this chair here and what are they doing in the security blindspot of this particular room? 

Ianto can't stop a few tears falling now and suspects it has something to do with being alone and being in this room. He tries to figure out what just happened with Jack. He should have pushed him away and gotten control of himself. How could he have so easily given in to Jack's persistence? Of course, the second that Jack touches him, he loses all ability to think with the head on his shoulders. Can he believe that Jack won't try it again? He did look really devastated afterwards when Ianto started freaking out. Ianto sighs and puts his head in his hands. Whatever this chair was put here for, he's glad to have found it so that no one can see him crying in an empty room at work.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will be going on vacation and will be away from the internet for a few days. I'll be back on Friday and will resume normal posting.

Ianto doesn't want to tell Tosh about Jack giving him a blow job. For one, he's ashamed at having given into temptation, and secondly he doesn't want it getting back to Emily. He really doesn't think she'll continue to go out with him if she finds out. However, Jack apparently doesn't have the same concerns.

“So, Ianto,” Tosh says coming up to Ianto, “I think we need to get a drink after work today.”

“Um, okay,” says Ianto. It's something they occasionally do, but usually it's a spur of the moment decision if they both leave at the same time.

“Be ready to go at six.”

“Sure,” says Ianto. He's rather confused.

Just after six, Tosh and Ianto enter the pub near work. Tosh directs Ianto to pick up a couple pints while she claims a booth along the back wall.

Ianto slides into the booth and passes a pint to her. “So, is there a reason you were insistent that we come out this evening?” asks Ianto.

“Yes, actually. Jack had a talk with me.”

“Really? What about?” Ianto says into his beer.

“You.”

Ianto is taking a sip, and his surprise makes him spit a little beer out. As he mops up the spill with a napkin, he asks, “What about me?”

“Do you want to tell me what happened in the archives yesterday?”

Ianto sighs and his shoulders sink. “Not particularly. It was a mistake and won't be repeated.”

“The way Jack tells it, it was all his fault and he practically forced you to do something you didn't want.”

Ianto puts his glass down and fiddles with a clean napkin. “He didn't force me, but he pushed. I could've kept strong and told him to stop, but I didn't.” He looks up at Tosh pleadingly, “Please don't tell Emily. I know that I only just started seeing her, but I don't want her to know how weak I am. It won't happen again, so there's no reason she needs to know.”

“I'm not going to tell Emily. I don't think she has any expectation that you're not with anyone else at the moment anyway. Really, I don't think she'd care as much as you seem to think, but she's not why I wanted to talk to you about it.”

“Oh,” Ianto looks relieved. “Well then why do you want to talk about it, I know I don't want to.”

“I'm concerned because Jack made it seem so, well, he's really upset that he's hurt you and the friendship that you've started building together. He talks like he forced himself on you, and he was crying about it.”

Ianto doesn't immediately address this statement and instead notices the subtext. “Does Jack often talk to you about his feelings?” Ianto sounds a little hurt as he has always assumed Jack didn't talk to him about his feelings because he didn't talk to anyone about his feelings.

“Sometimes,” answers Tosh. “We've known each other a long time and for a while even worked Torchwood Three alone. We've got a close relationship that isn't always noticed.”

“I'm sorry I never realized that. I guess I was always worried about my relationship with Jack and didn't see yours.”

“That doesn't matter, I really would rather know how you feel about what happened.”

“In some ways I blame him, but in others I blame myself.”

“There's no reason to blame yourself for any of it, Ianto. And why does it have to be about blame anyway? What is it about what you two did that you feel was wrong?”

Ianto stops and thinks. He's been thinking that it was wrong, but hasn't really examined why. Tosh is right that what he's started with Emily isn't enough to feel guilty yet. Emily won't have expected anything from him. Has he just been using that as an excuse? He knows that Jack regularly has sex with people other than Gwen and that he's honest and open with her about it even if Gwen doesn't like it. Is it because he had told himself he wasn't going to go back to Jack? “I don't know,” he finally answers. “Maybe I just don't like the idea that I can be so easily manipulated back into his bed.”

“So you feel like he manipulated you.”

“I guess,” Ianto takes another sip. “I don't feel forced, but it's not something I wanted or felt compelled to do. He just, he's so hard to deny, and even when I told him to stop, he made me want to give in.”

“Ianto, it sounds to me like he was doing something wrong. Maybe what you're feeling isn't guilt, but the result of him pushing himself on you. He's incredibly sorry and he looked downright broken when he talked to me, but I think you're right that he manipulated you and the situation and it was wrong for him to do that. He really is upset about his behavior, though, and I don't think he would dare try it again.”

“That's good to know. It makes me feel better that he won't be like a lion and I'm the gazelle. Was he really crying?”

“Yeah, he got my silk blouse all wet.”

“I don't think I've ever seen him cry before, not really.”

“It's not something he does often.”

“Is it bad that I'm a little happy that I can make him cry? I mean, that shows that he really cares about how he made me feel, right? And that he won't try it again?”

“I think so. Like I said, he doesn't cry easily.”

“Thanks for dragging me out, Tosh. I feel better.”

“Good. Now, tell me about your date with Emily.”

Ianto smiles at the welcome change in topic. “It was wonderful, Tosh.” Ianto then tells her all about it and the same feeling of relief and openness falls on him again. It's like the oppressiveness of his past with Jack is being lifted from his shoulders as he talks.

Before he knows it, Tosh has finished her drink and is getting up to leave. “Ianto, I think it's a good thing that you're moving on from Jack, but don't be too hard on yourself for still being attracted to him. It's normal, and he's very attractive.”

“Thanks, Tosh. And thanks for coming out with me tonight.”

“When do you see Emily again?”

“Tomorrow night.”

“Well, have a good time, and tell me all about it.” Tosh waves goodbye and Ianto finishes his drink. He's looking forward to tomorrow night.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back from vacation and will be posting regularly again.

Jack is true to his word and doesn't try anything on with Ianto again. A month later and Jack and Gwen seem to be fighting less, at least where anyone else can hear them. Gwen certainly seems satisfied with how things are going. 

Ianto has gone out several times with Emily and they are starting to become serious. They have been going out about three times a week and have just had sex for the first time. Ianto has been worried that he would have to get used to having sex with a woman again, but it turns out that he shouldn't have been worried as he feels comfortable and in control the whole time. Emily seems to enjoy herself as well. Ianto ends up being relieved that it's different enough with Emily that he isn't reminded of Jack at all the whole time. He even stays the night at her place.

On account of having to get back to his flat in the morning before going to work, Ianto arrives a little later than usual. He can't seem to care, though, as everything seems really wonderful this morning. He immediately goes to make coffee for him and Jack as well as Tosh since by the time he's done she should be in. Jack joins him in the kitchen area.

“You're in later than usual today.”

“Yup, I didn't get up early enough this morning.”

“It's not a problem. You're always in way earlier than you need to be. I just missed my Ianto time this morning.”

“Sorry, maybe tomorrow. Here you go, sir,” Ianto says as he hands Jack his coffee.

“You look in a good mood this morning, a bit of a bounce in your step.”

“Yes, I think so. It's been a good morning so far.”

“Even though you woke up late?”

“Well, I didn't wake up late, I just should have gotten up earlier.”

“I don't think I understand the difference.”

Ianto doesn't want to make things awkward, but realizes that he already has made it inevitable through what he's already said. “I didn't wake up at home this morning and it took me longer to get back to my flat than I anticipated, so I woke up when I intended, but that didn't end up being the right time.”

Jack gets his big smile that he uses when talking about sex. “Oh! So does that mean you were at Emily's? How good a morning was it?”

Ianto chuckles at Jack's tendency to act like a teenager. “It was a great morning, and evening, and once in the night.”

“Good work, or did she do most of the work?”

Ianto laughs some more. Jack was always in his element when joking about sex. “It was a joint effort.” Ianto takes a sip while Jack seems to luxuriate in his own sip of coffee. “Jack, does this not bother you, talking about my having sex with someone else?”

“Of course not. If you were having bad sex that might bother me, but whatever makes you happy and satisfied is all that I want to see.”

“It definitely wasn't bad. I'm very happy with her.”

“Any specifics you want to share?”

“No. I don't think I'm ready for that.”

“Oh, please,” Jack begged. “I need some good sex stories.”

Ianto laughs openly. “That is definitely not something you have in short supply. And aren't you having constant sex around here with Gwen, even if you are keeping it quieter these days. Thanks for that, by the way.”

Jack loses his lighthearted expression, although he keeps the smile on. “It might not be quite the way I want it to be.”

“Is that why you go to others?”

“Partly, but there's some things that I don't go to strangers for that she won't do for me.”

Ianto is intimately familiar with Jack's desires and knows that he must be referring to his submissive desires. “I'm sorry. I know that's something that you really need.”

Jack is now contemplative and staring into his coffee. “I think those times are when I miss you the most. You were always so willing to try what I wanted and trust me to fulfill your desires in ways you might never have known.”

“Well, I trusted that you were much more experienced than me and I had a lot to learn.”

Jack smiles again. “You were an excellent student. Don't let all that knowledge go to waste. I trust that Emily will take advantage of it.”

“Oh, I don't think I'll try some of the things we did. I'm not comfortable being quite the teacher that you are, but maybe just a few things.”

“You really need to keep in practice, and get lots of practice. Don't worry about coming in later than usual, I mean it.”

“I might just hold you to that.”

The sound of the door opening brought their attention to Tosh arriving.

“I guess it's time to start our work day,” says Jack and he sets his mug on the counter and leaves for his office. Ianto wonders if Jack wakes Gwen up when he goes in to try and get her up earlier or if she's already up and in the shower. The thought of Gwen in the shower that he used to use annoys him, but then he thinks of how he woke up this morning, and it doesn't matter so much. Ianto goes back to his whistling and makes a coffee for Tosh.

Jack closes the door behind him as he enters his office. He goes to check if Gwen has gotten up and pokes his head down the entrance to his bunker. He still thinks of it as his own even though Gwen has clearly established that she's not leaving. Gwen's just finishing putting her clothes on. “Morning, Jack. I'll be up in just a mo'. Are the others here yet?”

“Tosh and Ianto are here, but Owen hasn't shown up yet.”

“Okay. I'll be right there.”

Jack pops back up to his office and starts going through some paperwork.

Gwen finishes brushing her hair and goes to find her boots. One is in the center of the bedroom floor, but she has to search around for the other one. She finally finds it under the bed behind some dirty trousers and pants. Jack really needs to get around to cleaning in here, she thinks. At least Rhys was good at getting housework done, although Jack is so much busier, and she should probably cut him some slack.

She had expected him to come down into the room earlier instead of just poking his head in. They usually have sex in the morning, but lately Jack has been insisting on doing it in the bedroom instead of the office. He says that he doesn't think it's professional to have sex with the others around, but she thinks he really doesn't want to let Ianto hear. The poor dear must really be pining after Jack still since he doesn't have anyone else. Gwen has never found it difficult to find a partner and thinks that it must be quite sad to not be wanted by anyone. She knows that people like Tosh say that they don't want to be with anyone, but she knows that that's just an excuse to try to cover for not being able to attract anyone. She never falls for it. No one would ever want to be that lonely.

Wondering if Jack will want to have sex in the office after all, Gwen goes up the ladder. Seeing Jack doing paperwork at his desk, she sees that there's no coffee mug on his desk and so Ianto must not have brought him one yet. He must be avoiding Jack and Gwen, which she thinks is very unprofessional.

Of course, she doesn't know that Jack spends his mornings drinking coffee in the kitchen these days.

“Would you like some coffee, dear? I can get you some.”

Jack smiles at Gwen, “No thanks, I just had some.”

Oh, thinks Gwen. I must be later than I thought. “Oh, I think I'll get some for myself then.” She leans down and gives Jack a kiss and he deepens it, pushing his tongue inside her mouth. She lingers in the kiss and puts her hand behind his neck, carding her fingers through the short hairs there. Reluctantly, she pulls back and whispers, “Is there anything else I can do for you this morning? Something better than coffee?”

Jack chuckles as Gwen grins and circles her fingers over his scalp. “Oh that would be lovely, but I really don't think we should during work time with everyone around.”

“Oh, that doesn't bother me, and it didn't used to bother you. Why does it matter now?”

“Actually, I had some complaints, and I agreed with them that it was rude at the least and insulting to the others.”

“Complaints? I can guess who that was,” says Gwen with a frown.

“No, I don't think so. It wasn't Ianto.”

“No?”

“It was Tosh and Owen. Apparently they don't like sitting at their workstations right outside this door, doing actual work, while listening to us have sex. It doesn't seem like an unreasonable request to me.”

“Oh,” says Gwen. It's not unreasonable and there's nothing she can say to that. “Well, I guess I'll just have to wait and drag you down to the bed at lunch then,” she says with a slight smile that doesn't reach her eyes. “I'm off to get some coffee then since you already had yours.” Gwen slips out of the office and passes Tosh at her desk, giving her a little wave.

Being the boss's girlfriend definitely has its perks. She has zero commute time and can sleep in later than she used to. Also, nobody gives her crap about being late anymore. They know she has the most pull with the boss and she can't be messed with anymore. Even Ianto still gives her great coffee and the good chocolate biscuits, even though he has to be angry at her for stealing Jack from him. He must be too scared of Jack or still in love with him, so that he wouldn't do anything to make her unhappy. She feels sorry for him being in such a difficult position, but she did win after all and deserves to get the perks that Ianto no longer gets.

Gwen finds Ianto down in the autopsy bay with Owen. They're bickering about something or other. She catches something about supply ordering. It isn't important, so she interrupts. “Ianto dear, could I get a coffee, please?” She makes sure to be polite and smile. It's always good to be nice to those who you've risen above.

“Certainly,” replies Ianto. He's glaring at Owen, but quickly turns and jogs up the stairs. He doesn't look at Gwen as he passes, and Gwen thinks this means that he can't bear to make eye contact with her rather than being distracted and not caring.

Around one o'clock in the afternoon, Gwen, Jack, and Owen stumble into the hub, muddy and tired. They had gone out on a rift call and had to dig a piece of space trash out of a muddy field. She had fallen and it was a hard slog to and from the road. She's looking forward to a shower and some lunch.

As they come into the main hub area, Gwen spots Tosh and Ianto at the computers. “Ianto dear, could you order us some lunch, please. I'm starving.”

“Already done,” answers Ianto. “Chinese will be here in about fifteen minutes. I ordered your usual.”

“Thanks so much, sweetie.” She's a little annoyed that he didn't ask what she wanted first, but she's also glad that the food will be here that much sooner. He means well.

She follows Jack into his office and down into their bedroom. “Oh, I'm stinking! I can't wait to shower and get to smelling like a person again!” She quickly shucks off her shirt and starts on her boots.

Jack is also taking off his boots and unbuttoning his shirt. He's stopped by the sight of Gwen undressing while unkempt. She's so hot, the way that she's getting such pleasure in taking off her clothes. “Mind if I join you?”

Gwen looks over at Jack as she's pushing her jeans down. “I'd be insulted if you didn't,” she says as she kicks her jeans across the floor. Jack lunges towards her, picking her up and spinning her around. He carries her into the bathroom and sets her down so she can start the water and he can take off his trousers. As Gwen gets the temperature right, Jack tugs at her panties, which are the green lace ones that he likes so much. He loves that she wears sexy underwear on a daily basis, even when they're running around in a muddy field. He pulls them down just a little and she giggles as he presses himself against her back. He reaches his hand down the front of her panties that are still around her hips and he presses his fingers against her clit. He slides his fingers further and finds her wet as he slides two fingers inside.

She moans and throws her head back on his shoulder. He thrusts his fingers in and out of her as he rubs his hard cock against her ass. She thrusts her pelvis against his hand and moans louder. “Oh Jack. Please, more.”

“Get in the shower,” he orders. Gwen kicks off her panties and throws off her bra. Jack pulls her into the shower. “Brace yourself against the wall.” She puts her hands against the wall over the shower knobs. Jack gently pulls back on her hips so that she's bent over far and her ass is sticking way out. He then kneels down and positions himself between her legs. He brings his face up and starts licking at her wet pussy. He uses his fingers to dive into her and then reaches forward with his tongue to lap against her clit. Gwen shakes and moans as Jack goes down on her from behind. She screams as she comes and juices soak Jack's chin. Wasting no time, he stands up behind her and instructs her to stay in the same position. He reaches just out of the shower to grab a condom from the shelf and quickly gets it over his cock. Grabbing her hips, he slides straight into her hot, wet channel and she clenches around him. He sets a punishing pace, gripping her hips so hard that he's bound to leave bruises. Gwen is moaning again and he wants her to come a second time. He reaches one hand around to rub her clit as she pushes back against his thrusts. Finally, she comes a second time, screaming and clenching tight around his cock. Jack loses control and comes hard into her yelling, “Yahhh!”

They catch their breath and Jack slowly pulls out of her. He pulls off the condom and leans out of the shower to throw it in the toilet. He leans back in and takes Gwen in his arms, kissing her and rubbing her back as she is still shaking with pleasure. He whispers in her ear, “Did that make the muddy field worth it?”

“Oh yes. That was amazing, Jack. And I can feel how you feel about me every time we're together. You never need to say it with me, I just know.”

Jack is both relieved that she gets that he expresses himself through sex, but he's also unnerved by her persistence to say these things that make it sound like he feels more than he does. Mostly he's just hoping that she didn't notice how he started to yell Ianto's name when he came.


	15. Chapter 15

Gwen emerges clean and satisfied to find that the food has arrived and the others are all in the conference room eating. Owen's hair is wet and tousled from his own shower. Tosh and Ianto still looked composed and dry since they didn't go out in the field. The wet and tousled look is sexy on Owen, and Gwen starts to wonder what it would be like to have Owen and Jack with her at the same time.

“This looks delicious,” says Gwen as she sits down and pulls her usual order towards herself. She grabs a fork and digs in. She's incredibly hungry, and it tastes so good to her. She notices Jack enter the room and Tosh greets him. It's then that she realizes that no one greeted her or has really acknowledged her. Jack, however, takes the seat next to her and places his hand on her back, giving affectionate strokes up and down. He leaves his hand over her shoulders as he pulls some food towards himself. She luxuriates in the open affection that he's giving her and smiles at him. Suddenly it feels like they're the only ones in the room.

Once she's done with her lunch, Gwen neatly places her fork on her plate so it's easier for Ianto to pick up, and she follows Jack out of the conference room. She accompanies Jack to his office, but he has a call to make to the palace, so Gwen leaves him to it and takes the opportunity to go see Tosh. Since Ianto iss still cleaning in the conference room, it's just Tosh and Owen at their workstations in the main hub.

Gwen stops by Tosh as she's typing. “Tosh, could I talk to you for a minute?” Gwen says quietly.

“Sure,” says Tosh without looking up. Gwen had intended that Tosh and her would go into a room in private to talk, but Tosh doesn't seem to understand. “What is it?” Tosh asks, prompting Gwen to get on with it.

“I wanted to talk about Ianto, since you know him best,” Gwen says.

Tosh pauses in her typing, but then starts back up again, feigning nonchalance. “Oh? Do you have a question about him?” Tosh knows this has to be about Jack in some way and is dreading how it's going to go.

Gwen glances at Owen, who is pretending to be engrossed in the medical reports on his computer screen. “I'm worried about him. He keeps himself away from most of us, and I'm worried that he's not taking things well.”

Tosh is incredibly annoyed at Gwen for this ridiculousness. She decides to make it difficult for her and make her explain everything. “Why, is there something he should be upset about?”

“I mean he seems to avoid me and Jack, and well, I'm afraid he still has feelings for Jack and is having trouble dealing with it.”

Tosh slams her hand down on the desk and glares at Gwen. “Just stop it, Gwen!”

Owen is openly staring now, and Gwen's mouth is hanging open in shock. “Just stop being so ridiculous! Ianto is not sulking and jealous over you and Jack! He is not pining over Jack! For your information, he has a girlfriend, and he has a friendship with Jack, and he's just fine.”

“Oh, he has a girlfriend?” Gwen asks quietly.

“Yes, and she's very nice.”

“You've met her?”

“I set them up actually. She's a friend of mine.”

“From where?” This doesn't come out as curious, but more disbelief that there's anywhere else Tosh could know anyone.

“I have hobbies, Gwen. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have work to get back to and don't have time for gossiping.”

Gwen, at a loss of what to do, just stands up and leaves. She goes to Jack's office, the only place she really feels safe. She quietly opens and closes the door so as not to disturb Jack on the phone. She plops down in the chair and waits for him to finish. He frowns at her with a question on his brow, asking what's wrong. She just waves him off so he'll finish his call. As she sits there, she's stuck in her thoughts and everything that Tosh just said. Do the others really think her so bad? She feels very alone and needs Jack just now.

Jack finally finishes his call and immediately asks what's wrong.

Gwen's not able to hold back tears as she speaks. “I was worried about Ianto, and Tosh completely took it the wrong way, and they think I'm mean,” wails Gwen.

Worried, Jack stands up and comes around to Gwen on the chair, putting his arms around her so that she can put her head on his shoulder and sink into his embrace. “Can you tell me what happened?” Jack asks quietly.

“I was worried about Ianto. He doesn't seem to be taking things well with us being together, and I thought Tosh might know how he's doing, but when I asked her about it, she yelled at me saying I was 'ridiculous' and she...” but Gwen can't go on and just dissolves into tears.

Jack tries to soothe her, stroking her back. He's caught that Tosh said something that upset Gwen and it all has something to do with Ianto. He's incredibly curious what this all had to do with Ianto, but doesn't think he should ask. He just tries to get Gwen to calm down. He figures he'll get the story from Tosh later. “Gwen, why don't you go downstairs and take a rest. Things will be better after a little sleep.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah, just take a nap. I'll talk to Tosh and everything will work out. You'll see.”

“Okay, if you think that's best.” Gwen goes down the ladder and Jack slips quietly out of the office. 

He finds only Owen sitting at his work station. “Owen, do you know where Tosh is?”

“Not if you're going to yell at her,” says Owen barely looking at Jack.

“I don't know what's going on. I was just going to ask her, but if you know, could you enlighten me?”

“Well, we've turned into a soap opera around here, apparently. Gwen came round all smug and asked Tosh about Ianto who she thinks is being sulky and jealous, and Tosh set her straight. Gwen's had it coming for a while, so you've no reason to get down on Tosh. If anything, you should have had a talking to Gwen well before this.”

“I'm still confused,” says Jack as he sits down in Tosh's chair next to Owen.

“What about? Your girlfriend was being a twat, and Tosh saw to it.”

Jack lets the girlfriend comment slide. He's a little upset with himself for being more annoyed with Gwen being called his girlfriend then being called a twat. “I guess I've been missing some stuff going on. I didn't realize that there was a morale problem going on. How long has this been happening?”

“Ever since Gwen decided her shit smells better than everyone else's. Didn't you notice how she's been ordering us around and having others do her work for her? It's like she thinks that shagging the boss means that she is the boss. At least Ianto never acted that way.”

Jack tries to think back to things that Gwen might have done, but he just hasn't been paying attention. “I'm sorry I didn't notice these problems before. I'll talk to her, but I should talk to Tosh first. Where did she go?”

“I think she's down in the archives with Ianto.”

Jack makes his way down to the lower levels, and as he approaches the door to the archives, he can hear Tosh talking to Ianto, almost in a rant. “I know you don't like others to know your business, but I just couldn't stand her acting so smug and superior, and it just came out. I'm sorry, I hope you're not mad.”

“It's alright, Tosh, really. Thanks for sticking up for me anyway. I wish I could've been there to see her face.”

Jack knocks on the open door to announce his presence since he really doesn't think it would be a good idea to eavesdrop, even inadvertently. “Hey Tosh, Ianto,” Jack begins, but doesn't get anything else out because Tosh immediately starts.

“Jack, I'm sorry if I hurt her feelings, but she's been insufferable lately.”

“Tosh, it's okay. I just want to understand what happened because I have a crying Gwen in my office and a snarky Owen not giving me a straight answer.”

“Well, after Gwen left all her lunch dishes and trash for Ianto to clean up...”

“That's really not a problem,” interjects Ianto.

“But it's a continuation of the behavior that she's been showing for ages now. She acts like we're just here to assist her, and she's our boss. I've been here with you, Jack, longer than anyone else, and she treats me like I'm her secretary. She treats Ianto like a servant, and is otherwise insufferable to Owen.”

“What happened after lunch, Tosh?” Jack is getting exasperated now.

“Gwen comes up to me and just starts going on about Ianto being hung up on you and jealous and unable to move on. I let her know that Ianto has moved on, has a girlfriend, and that you and Ianto have a friendship. That all seemed like news to her, and she shut up, and I asked her to leave.”

“That's all that happened?” Jack had imagined something more.

“Yes, although I must admit that I was short and forceful in everything I said. It was not at all friendly.”

“Okay. Ianto, anything to add?”

“Nope, except maybe that I'm not pining after you.”

“Didn't think that you were.” Jack gives a smile to Ianto. “Are you going out with Emily tonight?”

“Yup, dinner and a video.”

“Good. I expect to hear about it in the morning over coffee,” Jack says casually.

“Depending on how good a night it is, I might be a little late.”

“I certainly hope so. Well, I guess I should go back to calming Gwen down. Why don't you two take off early today.”

“Thanks,” says Ianto. “I could use the extra time to get ready.” Ianto starts to put his papers in order, stacking and packing up.

Tosh goes over to Jack. “Jack, I really am sorry about making a mess of things, but I don't regret standing up for Ianto and the rest of us.”

“It's okay, Tosh. Just don't make a habit of making Gwen cry and we'll be okay.”

“It's a deal,” says Tosh, and she leaves the archives.

Ianto's still packing up, and Jack doesn't want to waste the opportunity of this time alone with Ianto. “Ianto,” Jack begins, “I'm sorry if Gwen offended you.”

“She said it to Tosh, not me,” says Ianto, finishing up putting his papers in their proper desk top organizers.

“Still, it was about you.”

“I try not to let her bother me.”

“Ianto,” Jack begins, and Ianto faces him, now done with his papers. “I just want you to know that what she said, that's not what I think. She doesn't speak for me.”

“I know, Jack. Really, it's okay. Gwen just doesn't listen to other people and so she comes up with fallacious conclusions. I really do try to ignore her for the most part.”

“Tosh is right. Gwen shouldn't be leaving more work for you to do. She should be able to clear up her own dishes and messes.”

“Jack,” Ianto puts his hands on his hips. “You don't clean up after yourself, and neither does Owen. I really am used to it.”

“Well, maybe all of us should be cleaning up after ourselves. I guess I just got used to you taking care of me and didn't really think about what I was doing. I should be an example for the others.” Jack pauses while he looks at Ianto with a confused look on his face. “I don't treat you very well, do I?”

Ianto steps closer to Jack and speaks in a more intimate tone. “Jack, I really have never minded taking care of you. In fact, I liked it.”

“It's not just that though. I never treated you as an equal. And others saw me, your lover, treating you as less than me, and it didn't encourage others to treat you any better. I'm sorry.”

Ianto looks down at the floor and bites his lip. “Thank you, Jack.” Ianto looks back up at Jack. “It means a lot to me for you to say that.”

After a moment, Jack clears his throat to clear the tension in the room. “Well, you best get on then and get ready for your date, Tiger.”

“Of course. I'll see you in the morning.” Ianto leaves, but takes a look back at Jack who's staring at his shoes.


	16. Chapter 16

Jack goes back into the hub and tells Owen to go home, too. Then he goes into his office and down into his bedroom. Gwen is laying on the bed on top of the covers and completely awake. She sits up as Jack comes down the ladder.

“What happened?” she asks.

“I talked to the others.”

“All of them? Why not just Tosh?”

“Well, I saw Owen first and he thought I needed to be told about a morale problem.”

“I don't understand what this has to do with what Tosh said to me.”

“Well,” Jack sat on the bed and pulled Gwen close to his side. “It seems that the others have been feeling a little put out with you lately, and Tosh's outburst was the result of them keeping it all inside.”

“What?” Gwen looks like she's about to cry again. “I haven't done anything to any of them.”

“Part of this is my fault.”

“What? How?”

“You've been following my example and treating the others how I do, and while they tolerate it from me because I'm the boss, from you, they see it as if you're acting like the boss. It brings on resentment and appears to them to be pretension.”

“But, I'm your girlfriend. Don't I get to be treated the same as you?”

“Gwen, this is more to do with our work relationship and how we aren't equal there. I'm your boss and the others don't see you as my equal at work. When we're together outside of work, then yes, you and I are equal in every way.”

“But at work we're not?” Gwen doesn't like the idea that she's not Jack's equal anywhere.

“Unfortunately, no. I'm still your boss, and I've been showing you unfair favoritism that has been creating this morale problem. This is why at most workplaces you're not allowed to date the boss.”

“So, you're saying that Tosh was right,” Gwen says as she moves out of Jack's embrace, and Jack can see she's raring for a fight.

“No, I'm saying that there is a perception problem, and we are both at fault. Neither of us should treat Ianto as a servant, cleaning up after us, and we shouldn't be so dismissive of Tosh and Owen, and I shouldn't show you preference over any of them.”

“But Ianto's job is to clean up after us, and I'm not dismissive of Tosh and Owen.”

“Ianto's meant to clean up crime scenes, not our lunch. He has enough to do without having to throw away our leftovers. I need to clean up after myself as well.”

“I can't believe you're taking their side.”

“I wasn't aware that I was. You have to admit that there's a problem, or else this wouldn't have happened at all.”

Gwen stands up to face Jack. “There's a problem all right, but it's not with me, it's with Tosh and Ianto, and even Owen, thinking that I'm not as good as them, and that I don't deserve the respect I've earned.”

“That's not what it sounded like to me. The way Owen and Tosh tell it, you're accusing Ianto of pining over me and acting jealous towards you when I know that isn't the truth. Look around you Gwen, Ianto doesn't want me back. He's the one that left me, after all!”

“What!” Gwen is truly astonished. “I thought you broke up with him.”

“No! You were there that first morning, don't you remember?”

“I remember that you ditched him and turned to me instead.”

“He left me, and I was devastated, and I turned to you for solace. This was absolutely clear at the time. I didn't want him to leave me, but he wouldn't take me back.”

“So, I was just your second choice, after Ianto?! I thought you were choosing me, not settling for me!”

“I wasn't settling for you, Gwen. I just needed the solace that you provide by being there for me, and at the time, not making demands. I thought you were on the same page until you broke up with Rhys and moved yourself in here without so much as a discussion. How do you not remember how this all happened?”

“Jack,” Gwen is on the verge of tears, “Do you even want to be with me?”

“Yes, Gwen, just not the same way that you want to be with me.” Jack's shoulders slump and he looks at the floor, unable to look her in the eye.

“I don't think I can look at you right now,” says Gwen quietly. “I need you to leave.”

“Of course,” Jack says angrily as he stands up and stalks across the room. “You throw me out of my own home and bed again. This isn't how I work, Gwen.” Jack pulls out a small overnight bag and starts to throw clothes into it. “You need to listen to the words I actually say and not just what you want me to say. You need to find yourself somewhere else to live because us living together doesn't work. I need to have my own place, my own space, where I can always go.” Jack angrily zips up the bag and throws it over his shoulder. “This is the last time I'm leaving here. You need to find a flat immediately.”

Jack bolts up the ladder, eager to get away. Once he gets to his car, he finds himself at a loss. It's still quite early, and he doesn't have anywhere to go. On other occasions that Gwen's thrown him out, he's gone to Ianto's to sleep on the couch, but Ianto is going on a date with Emily tonight. What if he goes to her place afterwards, or she goes to his? He doesn't think that Emily would take kindly to Ianto's ex-lover sleeping over.

Jack drives to a pub he occasionally frequents and gets some food. He stays there for a while, but eventually, he leaves and goes up to a rooftop to find that alone space that he requires. He wonders where Ianto is and what he's doing with Emily. Jack thinks about going over to Tosh's. He knows that she would give him a place to sleep and be a gentle ear to talk to, but he really wants to be near Ianto.

Jack drives over to Ianto's street and parks. Figuring that if Ianto's home, he's with Emily, Jack parks the car and settles in to sleep in the car. He reclines a little and starts to doze while thinking about Ianto and how they used to be. Now that he's with Gwen, he realizes how easy Ianto had been. What he thought had been Ianto pushing him for things was nothing compared to Gwen. He imagines himself back with Ianto and how things could be to comfort him as he tries to find a comfortable position for his neck.

After a couple hours, Jack is daydreaming with his eyes open when he notices movement to the side. It's nearly one in the morning, so the street is rather calm and empty. He looks at the motion and sees that it's Emily and Ianto walking out. They go to a car parked on the street that Jack presumes must be Emily's, and Ianto kisses Emily before she gets into the car and drives away. Ianto goes back into his building. Jack thinks about it for a few seconds before getting out of the car and going up to the building.

Jack gets to Ianto's door and stops and thinks again. What if he's not wanted? Will Ianto be mad that he's here? Jack finally knocks and waits with baited breath.

“What'd you for...,” Ianto starts, but stops suddenly. “Jack, what are you doing here?”

Jack can't figure out if Ianto is annoyed or simply surprised. “I was kicked out again.”

Ianto can see that Jack looks worse than usual. “Well, your timing is great. Emily just left, and I'm still awake.”

“Actually, it's not luck. I've been in my car on your street for a couple hours now.”

“What?”

“I knew that you had a date with Emily tonight and I didn't want to burst in. I thought she might not care for that very much. I actually expected her to stay the night, and I was just going to sleep in my car.”

“Oh,” Ianto steps to the side and motions for Jack to come in. “Jack, why didn't you go to Tosh's or a hotel?” Ianto closes the door behind Jack.

“Well,” and this was what Jack wasn't so comfortable with, “I don't just come here for a place to sleep. You make me feel better when I'm at a really low place. I've been kicked out of my own home by the person who's supposed to be there for me. I feel better when you let me in and listen.”

“But if you weren't even going to come in...”

“I still feel better just knowing that you would've let me in if you could've.”

“Honestly, Jack, I probably would have let you in anyway. But you're right, I don't know if it would have gone over very well.” Ianto leads the way to the sofa. “I appreciate that you didn't want to interrupt, but I would still have been there for you. I'm still your friend.”

“Thank you. I really need that right now.”

“Things sound worse than the usual incident.”

“Yeah,” Jack sinks on the sofa next to Ianto. “I think so. She didn't seem to understand what it is that we had.” Jack motions between himself and Ianto to indicate that he means the two of them when he says 'we'.

“I don't think I understand it either, so why would you expect her to?”

“I don't know. I didn't even understand what you meant to me until just recently.”

Ianto looks at Jack who's looking back at him. He's not sure what he sees in Jack's face, but it's not something he's used to.

Jack continues, “She didn't understand or remember that you left me and that I didn't want you to leave. She thought I had left you in order to be with her. It's not like I hadn't told her, or she wasn't there when it all happened, but she just doesn't listen. She twists the words to say what she wants to hear. I really miss how well you listened to me. You seemed to know what I was saying before I did. I was the one not listening to you, wasn't I? I guess this is karma coming back on me.”

Ianto really doesn't know what to say. “I'm sure it's not so bad. She's angry now, but she's a passionate person, and she'll calm down and be right back with you.”

“You're passionate, too!”

“No, I'm not. I'm calm and composed.”

“Ianto, I've been in a very good position to see you very much not-calm and not-composed and extremely passionate.”

Ianto blushes. “That's not the same thing.”

“I know you have passion. I've seen it. Don't let anyone tell you differently.”

“Well, compared to Gwen, I can't imagine that I even compare.”

“You do, Ianto.” Jack takes Ianto's hands in his. “Ianto, if you'd take me back, I'd be with you over her in an instant. That's what this fight was about. She's not my first pick and now she's realized it, and I can't deny it. I didn't realize what I had with you, but now that I do, I want it back so badly.”

“Jack,” Ianto interrupts and pulls his hands back. “This isn't fair.”

“I'm sorry, I don't mean to be like this. I'm not suggesting that you leave Emily for me. I just thought you should know. I'm saying that you were right; I've realized how badly I treated you, and how much I took you for granted. I do feel more for you than I realized and ever admitted to.”

Ianto stands up and begins pacing. “Jack, that wasn't the only reason I left. If you'll recall, I wanted you to commit to a future, something you are incapable of doing.”

Jack stands up so that he can be in front of Ianto. “Ianto, as you know, there are still things you don't know about me that aren't secrets, I just haven't gotten around to telling you. One of them is that I have been married.”

Ianto stops short and stares at Jack. Jack continues, “A few times, actually. It's just that I gave that up a few decades ago because it always ended in pain. I've been hoping to spare myself that pain.”

“How many times have you been married?”

“Two officially, but I consider a third. We were together at a time when it was illegal to be with another man, but we were as good as married.”

“So you can commit to a future, you just choose not to.”

“It's not quite like that, Ianto. I'm protecting myself. Surely you can understand how difficult it is to continually watch a succession of partners grow old or die young.”

“Were you monogamous with them?”

Jack chuckles, “Only tried that once. It was terrible. I was always in a bad mood and took it out on her. With the others, we had an arrangement and rules. I wasn't cheating, and the rules were always two ways, so they could be with other people, too.”

Ianto bites his lip and hesitantly says, “You didn't want to try it with me?”

“It wasn't a matter of wanting it, it's about protecting myself from the pain that comes with it.”

“Oh.”

“I just didn't want you to waste yourself with me when I can't give myself completely to you.”

“I think I understand a little more now.”

“And I do, too. I think you've always understood me better than I do myself.”

“Well,” Ianto runs his hand through his hair. “I guess that's enough soul searching, especially as I only just had sex with someone else an hour ago.”

Jack grins. “Any details you'd like to share?”

Ianto blushes. “I don't think that's appropriate.”

“Who cares about appropriate?”

“I do.”

“So you're not going to tell me anything?”

“I'll just say that she squeezes my head when she comes.” Ianto can't help but grin, even though he tries not to.

“Oh, that will keep wonderful images in my head. I always like that.”

“Okay, well, it's time for sleep. You know where the sheets are by now. I'll let you get your own linens.”

“I'll try not to dirty them up too much.”

Ianto smiles all the way to his bedroom. He closes the door and is relieved to be by himself so he can sort through this boatload of information just dumped on him. He hasn't locked his door since that first night, and doesn't now, but he's never been so unsure about what he would do if Jack came in the room.

Jack puts the sheets on the sofa and gets his usual pillow. Unfortunately, Ianto has been keeping the pillow in the closet and it doesn't smell like him anymore. Jack strips down to his pants and lays down on the sofa. He can't help but imagine Ianto going down on Emily, her legs wrapped around his head. Jack rubs his half hard cock with the heel of his hand. He gives in and pulls his pants down to his thighs and starts pulling on his cock, imagining Ianto rubbing himself off on the mattress with his face in Emily's pussy. Jack can't help but moan, and he tries to stifle his yell when he comes, but he's not that successful.

Ianto has been listening to Jack clearly jerking off in the next room. As he hears Jack come, Ianto moans in frustration. He's hard now, and he's already had sex tonight with his girlfriend. Now, his ex-lover is loudly jerking off in the next room, and he's not going to be able to sleep with a hard-on. He thrusts his hand into his pants and tries to get himself off quickly. Ianto's better at keeping quiet as he comes and arches his back off the mattress. He roughly grabs some tissues from the bedside table and cleans himself up. At least after coming twice, he's likely to get to sleep well.


	17. Chapter 17

As it's Saturday, Ianto has a bit of a lie in and doesn't get up until nine. When he wanders out of his room, he finds that Jack has already gotten up and gone. He finds a note next to the coffee machine that says that he went into the hub and thanked him for helping him out last night.

Ianto hasn't been going into work on the weekends anymore unless there's a rift alert since it's not actually required. He's essentially on call, but he finds himself wanting to go in like he used to, just to spend time with Jack. He doesn't have any plans for the day, so Ianto has a big fry-up for breakfast and has a nice slow morning. Around noon, Ianto puts on some jeans and a t-shirt, what is now his usual weekend wear, and decides to drop by the hub and bring Jack some coffee. He doesn't intend to stay long, just to drop by.

Ianto still has some of Jack's favorite bean blend in a canister, so he makes the coffee at home and puts it in a thermos. He doesn't really feel like bringing anything for Gwen, but he drops by a bakery and gets a few pastries on the way, including enough for her as well.

Walking through the cog door, Ianto takes a quick look around and doesn't see anyone. “Hello?” Ianto sees Jack's head poke out of his office.

“Ianto! What are you doing here?”

“I thought you might like some coffee and pastry,” Ianto replies as he bounds up the stairs toward the office. “How are you this morning? You didn't stay for breakfast.” 

Jack gets a stricken look on his face and Ianto hears from behind him, “Stay for breakfast?” Ianto cringes as he realizes that Gwen must not have known that Jack stayed at his place last night. “So you were at Ianto's last night, not your car,” continues Gwen as she walks around Ianto to Jack.

“Well, in the middle of the night, I gave up on the car and went to Ianto's and slept on his sofa,” says Jack.

Gwen doesn't look convinced. “On the sofa? Sure.”

Ianto lifts the bag of pastries. “I brought croissants and danishes if you want some, Gwen.”

Gwen just glares at Ianto and saunters to the office. Jack moves away from the office and motions Ianto to follow him over to the kitchen. Once there, Ianto takes out a plate for the pastries and a mug for Jack's coffee.

“I brought your special blend of coffee. I thought you might need it this morning.”

“Thanks.”

“How has it gone? Are you two off or still on?” Ianto speaks in a very quiet tone.

“We haven't really discussed it. We've just been ignoring it all morning.”

“Well, it's up to you, but if you really want her to go, then you might have to put your foot down.”

“Last night I told her she has to find her own place. I should probably start there and make sure she knows that I'm serious.”

“Well, if you need a place to sleep, you know to call me.”

“What about Emily?”

“She's out of town for a few days. That's why she didn't stay over last night; she had to catch an early flight this morning, and she didn't want to be late. She doesn't come back until Wednesday.”

“Oh, will she not be more upset if she finds out you've been shacking up with me while she's away?”

“I wouldn't call it shacking up. You're sleeping on my couch while having trouble with your girlfriend.”

Jack frowns. “I've never called her that.”

“What?”

“My girlfriend. I've never called her my girlfriend. I've never made a relationship with her.”

“Okay. I believe you. Just remember to call when you need to, and I'll talk to Emily when I need to.”

“Thanks. I have a feeling I'll need to stay over tonight.”

“I'll expect you then.” Ianto looks over to see Gwen glaring out from the office doorway. “I don't think I'm very welcome here. I should go, but I'll likely see you tonight. Here's your coffee,” says Ianto as he pushes the coffee cup towards him.

“Thanks,” says Jack as he pulls the coffee towards him. “I'm definitely going to need it.”

“Good luck.” Ianto leaves through the cog door, looking back to see Gwen continuing to glare at him.

It was late in the afternoon by the time Jack and Gwen started talking out their problems. The problem with them talking was that it usually turned into fighting and harsh words being spoken, although, there were times that Gwen's nurturing tendencies came out instead.

Jack starts with a non-confrontational tactic. “Gwen, first of all, I didn't settle for you. You know that I've been attracted to you from the first moment that I met you. But I was also attracted to Ianto. I always wanted both of you, but you were with someone else, so I didn't go after you.”

“You had to know I was interested in you as well,” interjects Gwen.

“Yes, but I didn't want to break up your happy relationship. Remember how I told you to hold on to that life? This is what I was talking about. We're not happy, and back then, you were happy. Following your desires isn't always the right thing, so I didn't try anything with you.”

“Then why did you change your mind that day?”

“I didn't. That's what I was trying to tell you last night. What I had started with Ianto had gotten to be more intense than I was prepared for. I was pushing back on it and he wanted to move forward, so I told him that I couldn't love him. That same love that you ask of me? That's what broke up me and Ianto. I told him that I couldn't love him, and he said that we could no longer have sex or be together in any way if that was the case.”

“But you love me, right?” asks Gwen hopefully. Jack's too afraid to break her heart to tell her no.

“In a way. In a way that I love everyone that's important to me, even Tosh and Owen, but not in the way that you want me to. I can't promise you anything more either. That's what I thought you understood that day we first had sex. I thought you were agreeing to just having sex and not anything more. I didn't expect you to leave Rhys.”

“So you thought you'd just have me on the side then?” asks Gwen, a bit put out.

“Honestly, I thought it would be like when you were having it off with Owen and that you'd tire of me eventually.”

“You think I'm just a cheating whore, do you?”

“No, honey,” Jack hugs Gwen as she starts to cry. “I just thought you were like me, able to separate love and sex and able to have both with separate people.”

“But if you were so intent on my not leaving Rhys, why would you start something with me? It was you that started to undress me.”

“I was upset, sad, and angry. I knew that you could help me through that. You've always been so caring, and that's what I needed then. I was so upset that I couldn't think of the consequences.”

“You were terribly upset and broken. I just wanted to put you back together again.”

“And you did.” Jack kisses the top of Gwen's head. He loves the way that she nestles just right against his chest when he embraces her. “I couldn't have gotten through that pain and loneliness without you. You were the only thing keeping me together.”

Gwen squeezes him tighter. “Sweety, I'm sorry I said those mean things to you, but do you understand that sometimes I can't sleep next to you if I'm angry? I just need the time to work through things.”

“And I'm so sorry that I said things that hurt you.”

“Jack, you don't really want me to stop living with you, do you?” Gwen looks up at him with her big eyes, wet with tears, and Jack's resolve crumbles.

“No, I don't think I want to spend the night without you. I hate it when you throw me out.”

“I know. I always wake in the middle of the night and look for you on those nights. I always regret it before the morning. Please, don't hate me for it.”

“I can't hate you for it; it's just part of your passionate nature. You wouldn't be you without it. And I definitely appreciate the other ways you show your passion.” Jack waggles his eyebrows.

“Oh, Jack. Whatever would I do without you?” Gwen raises up on her tip toes and kisses Jack as deeply as she can. Jack pulls her up, and she wraps her arms around his shoulders. As she starts to slip in his embrace, he pulls her up farther so she wraps her legs around his hips. “Oh God, Jack. Please take me. I want you to be in me, please.”

Never able to deny such a request, Jack tightens his grip on her, pressing her breasts into his chest and he latches his mouth onto her neck. Gwen starts to move against him, rubbing herself on him.

“Gwen, let's go down to the bed before I drop you.”

Gwen eagerly puts her feet on the floor and takes Jack's hand, leading him to the hatch. As they reach the bottom of the ladder, they waste no time in taking their clothes off and falling into each other's arms again. As Jack lays Gwen down on the bed, he pauses to take in the sight of her.

“What is it, Jack?” asks Gwen.

“Can I ask you to do something for me, Gwen?”

“Anything, what is it?”

“It's something that I only let people I trust do, but it's something that I very much need. I want you to tie me up and dominate me. I want you to paddle me and order me around and then fuck me with a dildo until I'm begging for release.”

Gwen lies still. “Jack, I'm not comfortable with any of that.”

“Oh,” says Jack with disappointment. “Not any of it?”

“No, it's abuse and I won't do it.”

“It's not abuse, it's something that can be done safely.”

“But wanting it is just a product of past trauma and isn't right.”

“No, Gwen, please don't think that. I've never had some big trauma, it's just something that makes me feel safe and cared for.”

“How about,” starts Gwen, and she rolls them so that she's on top, “I show you how I can care for you and make you safe, and you see if that works for you.”

Jack is disappointed, but he'll try it and see. “Okay, show me what you got.”

Gwen gives his jaw a nip. “Okay, you definitely won't regret it.” 

Gwen is thorough, kissing and sucking every piece of flesh she can find. Sucking on his nipples and nipping on his collar bone. She spends a large amount of time teasing him on his inner thighs and hips, but taking her time before getting to his cock and balls. When she finally take him in her mouth, Jack can tell that she's really trying and changing some of the things she used to do. Maybe she's finally realized that just because Rhys liked those things, doesn't mean that he does. She sucks lightly at the tip, just like he asked her to do before, and she takes her time and works slowly, so it doesn't seem like such a chore, but more like she actually wants to do this for him.

Jack is encouraged by this change in behavior. Maybe this is a sign that she really will come around to his way of things. Maybe when she says that something is out of bounds, she really just means she needs time to think it over. Maybe he just needs to be more patient with someone who is not as comfortable with sex that she's not used to, and he should take baby steps when introducing new elements.

As she takes him deeper into her throat (at least she already knew how to deep throat thanks to Rhys) and her lips touch the base of his cock, he's dying for some penetration of himself. “Gwen, ohhhh, that's amazing. I'm so close, just put your finger in my ass and I'll be there,” Jack manages to get out between panting breaths.

Gwen puts her hand on his balls and starts to gently massage them, but doesn't make a move for anything further back. After a few seconds, Jack tries again. “Please, just stick something in there, I need release,” he says with a strangled gasp at the end as she gives his balls a soft tug.

Gwen gently releases his cock from her mouth and says, “Jack, I don't want to do that. I don't like how dirty it is.”

“Oh darling, everything we do is dirty,” replies Jack with a leer.

“No, I mean literally. I don't want to be near any bacteria or anything that comes out of there. I'm sorry, but I'm too grossed out by it.” She takes him deep in her throat again to soften the rejection and as she swallows around him, Jack isn't too bothered by her refusal. It takes him longer to come without prostate stimulation, but it's rather exquisite this time around, so he doesn't mind. He figures he'll get her to come around eventually. He just shouldn't be so hasty in giving up on her. As he comes and she swallows him down, she releases him from her mouth and crawls up next to him. With all of the build up, it had been the best blow job she'd ever given him, even if it still wasn't as good as he normally got from Ianto. Still, it was good and showed him great promise for the future. He has all the time in the world, after all, he can teach Gwen how to satisfy him.

Jack grasps her hips and pulls them up toward his face. “Sit on my face, and I'll thank you properly,” he says. She giggles and does as he asks, scooting up on her knees to sit over him. He licks her and presses his tongue inside of her, using his fingers to help stimulate her clit. She's moaning in no time, thrusting slightly over his face so that her juices get all over him. He loves the taste of her and how wet she gets and she comes rather quickly, pulling lightly at his hair. She slides off of him and Jack reaches over to the bedside table for the tissues to wipe off his face. He's learning what she likes, too, and maybe it's okay to make some changes for her preferences as well.

“Do you feel better now, baby?” asks Gwen as she pulls him close into her embrace. Jack nestles into his favorite spot, resting his head against her soft breasts and holding tightly around her hips so he can grasp her arse cheeks.

“Yes, thank you. That was wonderful.” Jack wants to encourage her new efforts to please him in hopes that he'll eventually wear her down for some other ideas.

Gwen is happy that she seems to have satisfied Jack's desires without indulging him in his bondage fantasies that she's certain are unhealthy. She knows that she can always distract Jack from an argument with sex. Her jaw aches from the long blow job, but he was so much more responsive this time. Maybe eventually she'll convince him that these other sexual desires can be fulfilled with what they already have, if she just has the patience to work on healing his broken soul.

“I'll always be here for you, Jack. You never have to worry about being alone now.”

While Jack knows that that is only true as long as she lives, it comforts him nonetheless.

Later that evening, Jack calls Ianto, but it's to say he wouldn't need to stay over after all. Apparently he and Gwen have made up, and he is staying with her at his home in the hub. Ianto is of two minds about this. On the one hand he is happy that Jack isn't being turned out of his bed, but he is also disappointed as he had been looking forward to spending more time with Jack.

Emily returns on Wednesday and comes round Ianto's for dinner. He brings in take away Thai food, getting her favorites. Ianto figures that he should tell Emily about Jack spending some nights because it is starting to feel like a secret.

Ianto clears the plates and they settle in the living room with their glasses of wine. “Emily, I need to talk to you about something.”

“Okay, is something on your mind?”

“Well, I've told you a little about how before I met you I had recently broken up with someone, but that I work with my ex, and we see each other every day.”

“Yes.” Emily is starting to be concerned about where this is going.

“I haven't mentioned how we're rebuilding a friendship, and that I talk with him quite a bit now.”

Emily's opens her eyes a little wider and there's a question on her brow.

Ianto continues, “And I'm just now realizing that I hadn't told you that my ex is a man.”

“No, that hadn't come up.”

Ianto takes a sip and is suddenly self conscious. “Are you okay with that?”

“Yeah, I guess I had made some assumptions, but it doesn't really change anything.”

“Are you sure?”

“Well, it makes me rethink some things you might like to try in bed,” Emily smirks, “but I'm sure, it doesn't matter.”

“Okay, well this man, his name is Jack, and he also happens to be my boss.”

Unfortunately, Emily was taking a sip of wine and had to try very hard not to spit it out. “That's a little alarming!”

“That bothers you?”

“That doesn't usually end well. And he continues to be your boss, so that can't be easy.”

“Well, no. It's been very complicated at work, but things are getting better on account of that friendship building I was mentioning earlier. Also, what I really need to talk to you about is that I've been seeing him outside of work.”

“Oh? How do you mean?”

“He has a girlfriend who lives with him.”

“That was fast.”

“I agree completely, but this girlfriend of his is rather hot headed and kicks him out fairly often. On those nights, he doesn't have anywhere to go, so he's come over to sleep on the sofa at those times. I don't mean to keep it from you, but it just never seems appropriate to bring it up. Nothing has happened between us, it's always just as friends, but I think you should know.”

“Okay, so you want to make sure I'm aware that your ex, who you are still friends with, stays over on your couch some nights.”

“Yes.”

“Why are you telling me now when you haven't earlier.”

“I don't know. It just started to feel like I was keeping it from you, and I don't want you to think that I'm keeping it a secret. I just couldn't make myself tell you before.”

“Do you think that something will happen between you if this continues?”

“No,” Ianto says immediately, although he's not actually that sure since he tends to have to masturbate when Jack stays over. “I'm telling you because I don't want you to worry about it.”

Emily doesn't appear convinced. “Ianto, I just want you to be honest with me, and I really appreciate that you feel the need to be honest with me about the situation with your ex. But I can't deny that I'm worried about him staying over at times.”

“I promise I will always be honest with you.”

“And I want you to know that you can be honest with me. Feeling attraction for your ex is normal. I won't blame you for your feelings, so if you need to talk about them, you can talk to me.”

Ianto embraces Emily. “Thank you.


	18. Chapter 18

Two weeks later and Emily is still too good for Ianto, at least that's how he feels. She understands when he has to run off at a phone call and trusts him seeing Jack every day. Ianto doesn't trust himself that much around Jack. He's finding that he's more and more getting too turned on by Jack. However, it's not his presence, but their increasingly intimate conversations that get him in a state.

One day after Jack spends 45 minutes talking to Ianto in the privacy of the archives about his childhood, Ianto can't even stand for fear of showing his interest. Jack leaves while Ianto sits behind his desk, and then Ianto puts his head down until he can get himself under control.

Ianto has noticed that Jack seems to be back in a de facto relationship with Gwen. She hasn't moved out and Jack has stopped talking about it. Gwen's been in a good mood at work, and Ianto figures that that must mean she's gotten her way and Jack has decided to stay with her.

So now, Ianto sits on his sofa, looking at his phone as Emily calls, and knows that it's not fair to her to tie her down with him. For as much as he cares about her and admires her, he doesn't love her. He knows what love feels like, because he can't get rid of it with Jack, but it's just not there with Emily.

Making a decision, he answers the phone. “Hey, Em.”

“Hey, you. Want to get some curry tonight and watch a movie?”

“Yeah. Bring in some take away and we can watch something here.”

“I'll see you around seven then.”

Ianto hangs up. Tonight he'll talk to her about how he feels and let her decide what she wants from him.

Emily shows up right around seven, ever punctual. One of the many things Ianto really likes about her. As they put the food on plates and settle at the table, Ianto decides to get this over with. “Em, I need to talk to you about something.”

Emily visibly slumps. “Well, I know what I think you're going to say, so go on and put me out of my misery.”

Ianto is upset to be causing her pain. “What is it you think I'm going to say?”

“I'm afraid that you're going to tell me that something has happened with Jack and that you've given in to your desires.”

“No,” interjects Ianto. “While I can't deny that I am at times attracted to him, I have never cheated on you.”

“Oh,” Emily looks relieved. “Then what is it that you want to tell me?”

“Well, it's that you're everything I ever thought I wanted in a partner. It's like you're the perfect person that was made just for me.”

“But?”

“But, my feelings don't reflect that. It's unfair to you to lead you on when I just... well, I don't love you. I'm sorry.” Ianto can't look at her, he feels like such an arse.

“Ianto, look at me.” Ianto slowly raises his eyes to hers. She looks resigned, but not angry. “We've never spoken of love. I think it's sweet that you want to protect me, but I don't make assumptions. I haven't assumed you feel anything more than what you've told me.” Emily pauses, locking eyes with Ianto. “Do you want to break up because we don't love each other?”

Ianto thinks for a bit. Perhaps it's himself that needs to be free of a loveless relationship, not her. “I think I do. I guess I'm looking for everything, the perfect person and love.”

Emily sighs. “Me, too. I also want that.”

“So, you're not angry?”

“No, Ianto. The same concerns have occurred to me. I really like being with you in the meantime, but I don't see marriage and babies with you.”

Ianto chuckles sadly. “Yeah, I don't think I could do babies with my job anyway.”

“You're an admirable person, and I really do enjoy every moment I spend with you, but you're right. We both want something other than each other.”

“I can't believe this is going so easily. You're even better than I thought.”

Emily laughs. “Well, I'd like to keep knowing you and spending time with you as a friend, if you're able to do that sort of thing.”

“Yeah, I've got some experience being friends with an ex.”

Emily smiles. “Okay. Well, let's start some practice by finishing our food and movie as friends.”

Ianto chuckles. “Okay. It's not how I thought this would end, but this is much better.”

The next day, Ianto arrives at work a little early. Jack joins him in the kitchen as usual.

“You look good today, Ianto,” Jack begins.

“I slept well.”

“Oh yeah? Was it an enthusiastic night with Emily?” Jack grins.

“Uh, no. Emily and I aren't a couple anymore, and we both were completely on the same page about it. I think it was the relief that allowed me to sleep so well.”

“Really?” Jack looks interested, but his expression is indecipherable to Ianto.

“Yeah, we actually had dinner and watched a movie as friends. It was basically the same, just without the sex afterwards.”

“Are you okay about this?”

“Yes. Remarkably, I feel better now.”

“Good.” Jack sips his coffee.


	19. Chapter 19

A few days later, Ianto goes home at the usual time and enjoys the free time for all of about two hours when Jack calls. Worried about a rift alert, Ianto answers. “What's up, Jack?”

“Ianto,” Jack sounds sad. “Can I stay at yours tonight?”

Ianto sighs. He thought things were going well for Jack and Gwen. “Of course, Jack. I'll get the sheets out for you.”

Ianto puts Jack's sheets and pillow in a pile on a chair. He wonders when he started to think of them as Jack's.

Jack shows up with his overnight bag in his hand and a broken look on his face.

“Come on in, Jack.” Ianto takes his bag and leads him in. He hands him a glass of whisky that he has already poured for him and they sit together on the sofa. “Jack, you look terrible. What happened?”

“I was trying to give her what she wanted, but I just can't. She wants me to love her in a way that I just don't.”

Ianto is again thankful at the ease with which his conversation went with Emily. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

“Just letting me stay here, away from her, and giving me this whiskey is enough.”

“Okay. Well, it's still early, so why don't I put on a movie and we can think about something else for a while.”

“Ianto, I don't want to watch a movie. I just want to sit in the quiet.” Jack slouches down and slowly sips his drink while closing his eyes. After a minute, he starts to talk with his eyes closed. “Ianto, I'm so sorry to put all this on you.”

“Jack, can I ask why you stay with her? I thought last time you said that you weren't going to.”

“I don't know. Maybe I just don't want to sleep alone. Don't get me wrong, I really care about her. There's something about her that is so full of life and vibrant. She cares about everything so deeply and has an optimism about the world that's infectious. I think it's all of that that keeps me with her.” Jack opens his eyes and looks over at Ianto. “I couldn't have survived being without you, without her and her love pulling me through it. Losing you hurt me more than I realized it would.”

Ianto swallows and looks away. “Jack, I'm sorry to have hurt you, but I really didn't even know that you would care if I left you. You didn't try to stop me or even ask me to stay that night. In the morning, it was just too late.”

“Is it too late still?”

“Are you suggesting that you would leave Gwen for me?” Ianto looks back at Jack to gauge his thoughts.

“She's been there for me when I needed someone, but you do need to know that I love you and I always have, I just didn't realize it then. Not stopping you from leaving me is one of my greatest regrets. If you'll have me, then I'll leave her.”

“Oh,” says Ianto. He stays looking at Jack who is piercing him with his gaze. Jack just declared his love for him and his preference to be with him. Jack loves him. Ianto then lunges forward and kisses Jack for all he's worth. Ianto's hands are grasping on Jack's jaw and Jack puts his arms around Ianto's waist and pulls him in close.

Jack pulls back from the kiss. “Ianto, what is it you want right now?”

“I want you to make love to me, Jack. I'm not promising anything, but just for tonight, please?”

Jack responds with a fierce kiss and grabbing Ianto, lifts him onto his lap. Ianto settles in, straddling Jack, pulling at his shirt. They pull off their shirts and Jack pulls Ianto's hips all the way towards him so that they press against each other. Jack runs his hands up and down Ianto's back, reveling in the feeling of this man he feared he would never get to feel again.

“Come to my bed, Jack.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, please.” Ianto takes Jack by the hand and pulls him into the bedroom. They immediately pull at each other's trousers and manage to get them unfastened and pulled down. Ianto pulls Jack down onto the bed on top of him and Jack presses his hard cock against Ianto's, moving his hips back and forth to rub against him.

“Ianto, I need you to be inside me. Will you, please?”

“Only if we go a second time and you do me,” Ianto says with a smirk.

“Deal,” says Jack, and he eagerly pushes off his pants and grabs Ianto's, pulling them down and flinging them across the room. Jack lies back down on top of Ianto and grasps their cocks together in his hands, enjoying the feeling of flesh against flesh.

“Jack, I'm going to come too quickly,” says Ianto as he takes Jack's hand away from his throbbing flesh. Ianto reaches to the bedside table and grabs the lube. Coating his fingers, he reaches behind Jack and teases his opening, circling with his finger.

“Come on, Tiger, you can go faster.”

“You've been complaining that Gwen won't penetrate you with anything, so it's probably been a little while, and I'm not going to hurt you because you're impatient,” says Ianto sternly. He presses in the one finger and bends and flexes it while thrusting it in and out.

Jack moans as Ianto touches his prostate and moves his arse against Ianto's finger. Ianto presses in a second finger and moves them apart, stretching Jack's hole. Jack starts thrusting back earnestly against Ianto's fingers. “Please, Ianto. I want to feel your cock inside me again.”

Ianto presses in a third finger and thrusts them into Jack who yells with the sensation. Pulling his fingers out while Jack groans with disappointment, Ianto reaches back to the table and pulls out a condom. Slipping it on quickly, he adds more lube to his cock and grabs Jack's hips. “Careful now Jack. Don't go too quickly.”

Jack has a hard time keeping himself from plunging down roughly on Ianto's cock. Ianto slowly guides Jack's hips down and enters him. Jack moans with pleasure and then feels the sting of the stretch, glad that Ianto insisted on stretching him and slowing him down. Ianto moans with the pleasure of Jack's tight heat surrounding him again. Slowly but surely, Ianto finds himself fully sheathed inside Jack. Suddenly, he grabs Jack by the hips and flips them both over so Jack is on his back and Ianto is on top of him. He starts to thrust harder now and grunts with each effort. Jack raises his hands against the headboard and thrusts back onto Ianto's cock. “Ianto, harder. I need you, Ianto. Please, I love you!”

Ianto loses control, thrusting deeply and as fast as he can. Jack's legs grasp around Ianto's back and he arches his back as he screams Ianto's name and his come spurts between their stomachs. Ianto feels Jack's spasms against his cock and falls over the edge, yelling against Jack's neck. He calms down and catches his breath. He sees a look of pure bliss on Jack's face, relaxed as he hasn't been in months.

“Thank you, Ianto. Thank you.” Jack says against Ianto's lips.

Not knowing what to say, Ianto sighs and rests his head against Jack's chest. Instead of rolling off him, Ianto stays on top of Jack and closes his eyes. He feels himself soften and slip out of Jack. He finally moves in order to take care of the condom, throwing it into the bin near the bed, then he settles himself right back on top of Jack, who wraps his arms around him, holding him on his chest. Jack feels content and drifts off to sleep, feeling finally relaxed and able to sleep.

After a few hours, Ianto wakes and adjusts his position. He feels Jack move under him and he starts to roll off of him. “Stay,” whispers Jack. “I'm afraid that this is the last time I'll have you like this, and I don't want it to end.”

Ianto sighs, “Based on my recent behaviour, it is unlikely that this is the last time you'll have your way with me.”

Jack kisses Ianto gently and Ianto slowly deepens it. Jack's hands begin to wander and stroke Ianto's back. Ianto pushes his tongue into Jack's mouth and plays with his tongue. Ianto feels at home and comfortable. The familiarity is just right to him and he's able to forget about all the problems in their way. Jack begins to knead and stroke Ianto's arse, and Ianto responds by moving against Jack. He feels Jack begin to harden against his thigh, and starts to respond in kind. 

“Ianto, are you up for more? I still owe you your turn on bottom.”

“Oh God, it's been so long. Please fuck me.”

“I can do better than that. I can make love to you.” Jack rolls them over together so that Ianto is now against the bed. “Did Emily not do anything to penetrate you either?”

“Once she found out that I had been with a man previously, she would use her fingers a lot more. She offered to do more, but I wasn't ready for that yet, so it never happened.”

“So you've had more than me. Maybe it won't hurt so much.”

“Did I hurt you?” Concern shows on Ianto's face.

“No more than I wanted. You were right though to take your time. I'll try to do the same for you.” Jack slowly moves down Ianto's body, kissing every inch he can find. He lingers on his nipples, sucking and swirling his tongue around one and then the other. He stops at his belly button, swirling his tongue inside, and then further down to kiss and lick the inside of his thigh. Jack purposefully neglects Ianto's cock and balls, now hard and aching. He gently pushes Ianto's knees up against his chest to expose his hole to him. He dips down and licks a stripe down Ianto's perineum to his puckered entrance. Swirling his tongue around, Jack joins his finger in and pushes gently just a little inside, opening it enough for his tongue to plunge inside.

Ianto moans as Jack's tongue quests inside of him, pushing this way then that, using his finger to enhance every inch of pleasure. Ianto grasps his own knees to have something to hold onto as he gives in to the pleasure of Jack's tongue. Jack then retreats his tongue and reaches for the lube that is on top of the bed side table. Coating his fingers, he slips two into Ianto while gently licking the tip of his cock. Jack gently stretches Ianto and moves his mouth down to swallow his cock, sucking and bobbing his head to the tip and back down to the root.

“Jack, I'm not going to last long at this rate. You need to get inside me soon.”

Jack doesn't take his mouth off of Ianto but looks up at him while slipping in a third finger and watching Ianto throw his head back and groan. After ensuring that Ianto is stretched, Jack takes his mouth off of Ianto and licks the tip. He uses his other hand to grab a condom from the table while continuing to slowly thrust his three fingers inside of Ianto. Opening the package with his teeth, he sheaths himself with one hand and brings himself right up to Ianto's entrance.

“Are you ready, Ianto?”

“God, yes! Please!”

Jack takes out his fingers and immediately pushes himself inside at a tortuously slow pace. Every inch makes Ianto moan and Jack is determined to memorize every sound. Finally, Jack is fully inside Ianto and starts to slide himself out and then thrust back in again. At every thrust, Jack hits Ianto's prostate, making him writhe and moan.

“Please, right there, Jack. Keep right there!” Jack leans down to kiss Ianto and swallow his moans as he wraps his hand around Ianto's aching cock and pulls in time with his thrusts. It isn't long before Ianto's breathing becomes shallow. “I'm coming!” Ianto tenses and thrusts upward into Jack's hand, yelling and spilling hot come between them. Jack follows Ianto and comes hard, losing the use of most of his senses until his heart rate slows down a bit and he can open his eyes again.

“Now I want to stay here on top of you,” says Jack, their positions reversed from earlier that night.

“And I want you to stay, but we should take care of the condom before it becomes a mess.”

“Always the practical man.” Jack pulls himself out of Ianto and tosses the condom away. Coming back to Ianto he cuddles him close as they lay side by side, looking into each other's eyes. “Thank you for letting me in tonight, Ianto.”

“I feel like I should be thanking you for two amazingly good fucks.” Ianto smiles at Jack as he pulls himself flush against Jack. “I haven't felt this satisfied in a while.”

“We always were good at the sex part,” says Jack. “It was the rest of it that we weren't so good at.”

“We can worry about that tomorrow. For the rest of the night, I just want to enjoy sleeping next to you again.” Ianto pushes his face into Jack's shoulder and settles down for a deep sleep for the rest of the night.


	20. Chapter 20

Ianto wakes in the morning with a wonderful smell against him and a content feeling. He opens his eyes and sees Jack sleeping in his arms. Jack has that carefree smile that Ianto so likes to see and only seems to appear when Jack sleeps.

As Jack begins to wake, Ianto realizes that he can't just go back to Jack and the way things were before. As much as he wishes Jack could give him the things he wants, he hasn't changed and can't change. Still, the moment is nice and Ianto basks in the nostalgia of Jack waking up next to him.

Jack opens his eyes and sees Ianto staring at him. “Morning, Tiger,” Jack starts. Somehow he doesn't slur his words first thing like Ianto does when still half asleep. “Like what you see?”

Ianto doesn't know what to say, so he doesn't say anything, just smiles and lays back down to look at the ceiling.

“What are you thinking about in there?” Jack asks as he leans over Ianto.

“Jack,” begins Ianto, “what we did – it was wrong. Don't you see that?”

Jack is hurt and taken aback. The previous night had been the only thing that had felt right to Jack in a long while. “Don't say that,” he says breathlessly. “I can't bear it if you say that.”

Ianto doesn't say anything in reply, but turns his head to look away from Jack.

“Please, Ianto, look at me,” begs Jack. He had woken so completely at peace and Ianto was taking it all away from him again. “Please, Ianto. I don't want to be without you. I didn't go after you before, but I will now. I won't let you just leave me.”

“Jack,” Ianto says as he sits up and turns toward Jack. “I can't leave you because we are not together. That's what's wrong, we just cheated, or you did and I helped. We shouldn't have done it this way.”

“We didn't cheat, Ianto. I remind Gwen all the time that I haven't made a commitment to her. She knows, even if she doesn't like it, that I sleep with other people.”

“Really?” Ianto looks at Jack disbelievingly, then asks curiously, “How often are you really sleeping with other people.”

“I don't know, I don't keep track. Maybe about once a month.”

Ianto pauses. “Is that how often you were with other people when we were together?”

Jack looks down at his lap. “Ianto, I know you don't want to talk about other people I slept with.”

“But I do. I've always been curious, but too embarrassed to ask, but why should I be embarrassed? I knew you were with other people and I accepted it, but I never could bring myself to ask you about them.”

“Why do you want to know? Are you just trying to look for a reason to hate me so you don't feel bad about kicking me out of bed?”

“No, Jack. I really want to know. I've always wanted to know. Now that we talk more than we ever did then, our relationship has changed. I thought maybe it was okay to ask now.”

“It was always okay for you to ask, I just thought you didn't want to know.” Jack looks at Ianto. “No, it wasn't that often when I was with you. Honestly, I didn't feel the need as much because you were so accommodating to my requests. Even when I brought in someone to join us as a threesome, it was only because I couldn't replicate you. I guess, I was with maybe two or three during the year we were together.”

“That's it?” Ianto's mouth drops open. “But I thought it was way more than that, maybe two or three a month.”

“No, it was just a few, after all, there's some things I don't do with people I don't trust.”

“But you made it sound like you couldn't exist without a steady stream of strangers.”

“That's not how it is, I just can't stand the feeling of being restrained in my choices. It's like being told you can't ever have chocolate cake again, it just makes you want chocolate cake more and all the time, but with you, you were all the other types of cake that ever existed, so it wasn't so bad not having the chocolate cake.”

“And with Gwen?”

“She's just plain vanilla cake, and she doesn't want me to have any other kind at all.”

“Have you tried telling her about it this way?” Ianto really doesn't know why he's trying to help their relationship, but he just can't resist giving his two cents. “Maybe she would understand if you told her how important it is for you. Maybe she'd be more willing to cater to your more adventurous desires.”

“No, I've tried to talk to her about it, but she's disgusted by even the most basic of bondage and she's turned off by the idea of penetrating me. I can't even get her to put her fingers inside me and if I do it myself she looks at me funny.” Jack flops back down on the bed. “I've never been with someone who's made me feel embarrassed by my sexual desires.”

“Jack, I just keep coming back to the question of why are you still with her? If you're so unhappy with her, why don't you just cut her loose and tell her to go begging for Rhys to take her back.”

Jack doesn't want to talk to Ianto about his feelings for Gwen. It feels like it's mean to him to tell him why he stays with her. “Ianto, would you come back to be with me if I left her?”

Now Ianto doesn't want to look at Jack. “Jack, has anything really changed between us? It would be the same situation, and I'd still be unhappy, so no, I don't think I'd take you back, even if we are currently in bed together with each other's dried come on us.”

“That's why.”

“Jack, are you afraid of being alone?” Ianto finds the idea a little ridiculous since he must have spent years alone, or at least without a steady person in his bed.

“I like waking up with someone that I care about, someone more than just that night's pull. It doesn't have to be every night, and I do care about her. The feelings have always been there, and we've been through a lot together. Even though she drives me crazy, it's that passion that pulls me to her, just like it did with you.”

Jack turns and looks directly at Ianto. “But I don't love her. It's you I love. If you'd have me, I'd leave her in a second.”

Ianto feels like a boat load of responsibility has been dumped on him. Gwen's future and happiness was up to his decision, and he has all the choices. “Jack, I don't think it's a good idea for us to be together. I felt used and taken advantage of when we were together, and while you may promise that things would be different, I don't believe that they would be.”

“You don't trust me.”

“I do with my life, but not with my heart.”

Jack sits up and puts his hand on Ianto's cheek. “But what about this? Would you keep being my friend and sleeping with me even if we're not in a relationship? I want to keep being with you like we are now if that's what I can get.”

“Jack, you're cheating on Gwen.”

“It's not cheating!” He exclaims. He runs his hand over his face and through his hair. “I've never promised her to be faithful,” he says more gently.

“I know, but I'm different. I'm not just some pull at the club. She'll be jealous of your being with me and it will hurt her, and you know it. Knowing it will hurt her, you slept with me anyway, and I did it too with you. It's cheating because you know it will cause her pain.”

Jack bites his lip and looks down. “You're right. I know how she feels about you and how it would make her feel.”

“You shouldn't tell her about this. It will just hurt her, so you shouldn't tell her.”

“You want to keep this secret? You know I'm generally honest with my partners.”

“I know. But in this case, if you're not planning on breaking up with her, it'll just hurt her to know it was me. Just tell her that it was a stranger.”

“You would never condone dishonesty if it was you.”

“No, but I also didn't get so upset when you slept with other people.”

“Ianto, will you please have sex with me again? I think I could bear things if you were there to comfort me, and if you won't, will you at least still be my friend and talk with me in the mornings?”

“I will definitely still be your friend, Jack, but I can't promise that I'll have sex with you again. I still think this was a mistake.”

“But you won't say never?”

“Clearly I have my weaknesses,” Ianto says as he gestures to his still naked body.

“How about one more moment of weakness before we get up. Since we haven't left the bed, it still counts as the same time.” Jack drags his hand up the inside of Ianto's thigh.

“Jack,” Ianto says in warning. “It's mean to do this to Gwen.”

“I know there's no love lost between you two. Do you really care about how she feels?”

“No, but you should, and I care how you'll feel if you hurt her.”

“Now I want you even more.” Jack's hand has now moved to massage Ianto's cock, and he no longer has the will to resist.

“But it's wrong and mean to Gwen,” Ianto says through his hitched breath.

“We've already done it; it would just be like finishing it. She's not going to feel any worse if we just keep going for a little while longer. And I really need you to, you know, tie me up and punish me a little. She won't do it, and I feel lost having gone so long without it.” Jack has gotten Ianto to full hardness. “Please, we've already done the deed, will you please help me by dominating me?”

“Okay, just one more time,” says Ianto as he pulls Jack to him by the back of his neck. Ianto kisses Jack deeply, thrusting his tongue in Jack's mouth.

Slowly, Jack pulls back. “It's been so long, and I need it so much,” Jack begs.

Ianto looks at the sad hope in Jack's eyes. “I still have some of the things we kept here. I'm sure the cuffs are still in the box. Do you want the blindfold, too?”

“No, I want to watch you, please. Is that okay?”

“Of course,” replies Ianto, but he notices that Jack has already started to act deferential to him like they would do during play.

Jack lays back on the bed and waits patiently while Ianto goes over to the closet and bends down to fish the box out of the back on the floor. He had tossed it there, out of sight, and didn't really know what to do with the items that he thought he'd never use again. However, this position leaves his naked arse wiggling around in perfect view for Jack. While Ianto is struggling to get the box out, Jack moans. “Oh God, Ianto, if you're going to tease me like that, I might need to fuck you instead. I can see your hole still loose from last night.”

Ianto gives an extra wiggle to tease him before pulling out the box in triumph. “Here it is! Are you sure you still want this, or would you rather fuck me senseless?”

Jack bites his lower lip and contemplates the two options. He wants both so much and so desperately. Seeing Jack's desperate indecision, Ianto takes pity on him. “Okay, both it is,” he proclaims as he opens the box at the end of the bed and grabbing the cuffs, he stalks up next to Jack. Jack is still laying on the bed with his hands above his head, ready to be restrained, and his cock jutting up from his body. He looks in perfect delight at Ianto as he takes the cuffs and fastens them to one wrist, then loops them through the headboard and fastens the other wrist. Ianto checks the tightness of them, satisfying himself that they won't be uncomfortable for Jack.

“How's that?” Ianto asks Jack.

“Perfect, sir. How would you like me, sir?”

“Close your eyes,” says Ianto. Jack does as directed and Ianto goes back to the box taking out two more sets of cuffs. He knows that Jack liked this and it was only possible here at Ianto's house because of the headboard. When he gets back to the side of the bed, Ianto gently takes one of Jack's legs and bends it at the knee, bringing his ankle up and over his head. Fortunately, Jack is still flexible enough for this and the cuffs have a long enough chain. Ianto connects one side to Jack's ankle and the other to the headboard. Ianto then gets on the bed and moves to the other leg, doing the same to that ankle. The only sounds Jack makes is of pleasurable anticipation. Now with Jack fully displayed for Ianto, he bends down and applies his tongue to Jack's hole. Since he still has his eyes closed, Jack lets out a startled groan at the first feeling of Ianto's tongue.

“Thank you, sir,” Jack moans out as he pulls tightly with his wrists against the restraints. Ianto pushes his tongue inside and stretches the muscle as far in as it will go. Jack's groans get louder and he starts to move his arse by pulling against the ankle cuffs. He tries to fuck himself onto Ianto's tongue, but Ianto puts a steadying hand on Jack's hip as he teases with his tongue. Ianto then takes Jack's cock in his hand and moves it up and down slowly, but Jack is then startled by the sensation of Ianto suddenly bringing up his other hand and putting a cockring on him. He whines as this means he won't be coming as soon as he hoped. Ianto takes his tongue out of him and looks at Jack, completely restrained and presented to him, with a cockring on his red, hard, and weeping cock and patiently keeping his eyes closed as instructed. Ianto's almost ready to burst himself. Ianto lines up his hard and ready cock to Jack's hole, now glistening with his saliva.

“Jack,” Ianto says, “are you ready for me to enter you now?” Ianto hasn't added any additional lube and there is only the leftover from last night. In the past, Jack has asked Ianto to fuck him almost dry when he wants to feel some pain and he really seems to like it, but Ianto is never sure about it since he never likes it himself, but now, Ianto wants to add the pain to the restraints to give Jack a feeling of total domination.

“Yes, sir. Please, sir.”

Ianto leans down to Jack's ear and whispers, “Really, Jack. I need to know if you want this right now.”

“Please, Ianto. I want to feel you inside,” Jack replies.

Ianto then puts a condom on and lines himself up to Jack's hole. Ianto thrusts fast and deep, becoming fully sheathed inside Jack's warmth. Ianto moans as he's surrounded by Jack's tight heat and Jack lets out a loud yell of pleasure as Ianto thrusts into him. Jack is completely immobilized as Ianto thrusts roughly and hard into him, hitting his prostate. The cockring constrains him and adds to painful pleasure as Ianto hits his prostate. Jack moans at every thrust and tears start to leak from his eyes.

“Jack, are you alright?” Ianto asks slightly panicked.

“It's so exquisite, sir,” Jack replies. “May I look at you, sir?”

“Yes,” says Ianto, and Jack slowly opens his eyes to watch Ianto fuck him. He watches Ianto's fingers turn white against his hips as he rolls and thrusts into his hole with Jack's red dick bobbing against his own stomach. Jack feels taken care of and secure as Ianto takes his pleasure out on him. Ianto starts to stutter in his movements and he pushes into Jack one last time, yelling out his exquisite pleasure. Jack almost comes around the ring, but he manages to restrain himself, knowing that is the purpose of Ianto having put the ring on him.

Ianto then pulls himself out of Jack and quickly disposes of the condom. “I suppose you want to come now?” He teases Jack.

“Yes, sir. Please, sir.” Jack replies. However, Ianto doesn't take the ring off. Instead he puts a condom on Jack's engorged dick and then positions himself to straddle Jack while not straining Jack's legs that are still restrained spread above him. Jack then watches as Ianto quickly adds some lube to his fingers and he quickly stretches himself out. It doesn't take long since he is still plenty loose from the previous night. Ianto then throws himself down and back on Jack's cock. In this position, Jack's cock is pointing forward and Ianto has to move forward and back to properly fuck himself. He rides Jack's immobilized body until he gets hard again. Jack watches Ianto's cock grow and swell before his eyes while Ianto's tight arse squeezes his overstimulated member. Jack almost can't take it anymore, but he tries to keep from coming around the ring as Ianto hasn't said that he can come yet. Ianto pleasures himself on Jack and holds the top of the headboard to give himself leverage to thrust. Ianto doesn't give Jack any indication that he's going to let him come as he starts to get close again.

Jack whines and looks questioningly at Ianto. Ianto looks down and takes pity on him only enough to tell him, “Don't come yet, Jack. I'm not through with you, yet.”

While Jack was relieved that Ianto was keeping this 'one last time' going for as long as possible, he was also desperate for his own release, and he whined in a questioning way.

“It's only one time if you only come once, Jack. Once you come, it's all over. So hold on as long as you can and you can keep having me.” Ianto continues to bounce on Jack's cock and Jack closes his eyes to keep from coming. He wants this moment to continue forever. He feels Ianto lose his rhythm and his grunts become more vocal as he rams himself down against his prostate on Jack. Yelling out again, Ianto comes on Jack's chest and some splashes up to Jack's neck and chin. Jack revels in Ianto's come on his body, claiming him as his own. Jack needs all of this after so long without domination. Feeling Ianto's channel pulse and squeeze him, makes for exquisite pain, but Jack holds on and whines as Ianto pulls himself off of Jack. Ianto leans down and kisses Jack messily and greedily. “This is it for us and I want all I can get from you, but I think that you need to come now before it's too much. Is that right?”

“I can hold on more, sir. I know I can,” says Jack, but Ianto looks down at Jack's cock and how it swells against the ring. It's starting to look purple and Ianto doesn't think it's a good idea to strain him much more.

“Jack, I think you need to come now, and I want you to fuck me hard when you do, okay?” With that, Ianto releases Jack's ankles from the headboard and brings his legs down, rubbing the strained muscles and joints. Ianto then releases Jack's hands as well. “Are you okay with me releasing you? Do you feel better now?”

Jack realizes that he does have the pleasant feeling of security that he gets from these sessions and can manage the rest unrestrained. “Yes, sir. How do you want me, sir?”

“Please kneel up behind me and fuck me hard. Hold on as long as you can,” says Ianto as he reaches down and strokes Jack's cock and over the ring, “but then come while inside me.”

Ianto helps pull Jack upright and then turns around in front of him. Reaching behind himself, he grabs Jack's cock and lines it up against his hole, still loose and lubed. “Now Jack,” demands Ianto, and Jack obeys, thrusting in balls deep. Jack shouts as he fills up Ianto's hole and then grabs Ianto's hips. Thrusting fast and deep, Ianto thrusts back onto Jack and they are soon madly pushing against each other and the bed moves and the headboard knocks against the wall. Both of them oblivious to the furniture groaning, Jack puts one hand on Ianto's dick and strokes him until he's hard again and ready to come. With his other hand, he tweaks Ianto's nipples and pulls his back up against his chest. Sucking on Ianto's neck and flicking his thumb against the tip of Ianto's cock, Ianto shouts and comes suddenly. Jack revels in the feeling of Ianto coming around him and his cock pulsing in his hand, and he lets himself finally come even though the ring is still on him. He lets the sensation pass over and through him and he bites hard on Ianto's shoulder as he screams and cries. He clutches Ianto to his chest and squeezes him against him. Finally coming back to himself, Jack releases Ianto and looks at the man in front of him. There is a large and brutal hickey where his shoulder meets his neck and he's breathing hard. Jack still has a cuff attached to one wrist and hanging off him. Likewise, there are the ankle cuffs still attached to the bed and Jack has come on his chest that is now also on Ianto's back. He slowly pulls out of Ianto's hole and watches himself come out. He knows that this might be the last time he feels Ianto like this and he wants to remember every part of it. Throwing out the condom, Jack grabs Ianto and pulls him to his chest as he lays down on the bed. Not letting Ianto extricate himself, Ianto finally lets himself be held by Jack as they drift into a semi-slumber.

Ianto knows that they have to get up and go to work, but the last thing he wants to do is disturb this time away from the real world. Right now he can ignore all the consequences of their actions and just be content in each other's arms. Ianto sighs and closes his eyes, hoping that when he opens them, everything will be fixed and right between them.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't yell at me too much for this one. I can't make it easy.

Jack and Ianto walk into work together and Jack determinedly keeps hold of Ianto's hand on the way there. Ianto enjoys the feeling of Jack doting on him, but knows that it's not the real thing. Jack still isn't able to give him what he wants.

As they saunter through the cog door they are smiling and swinging their hands like teenagers. Jack reluctantly lets go as they enter, in case Gwen is around. Ianto heads to the coffee machine as Jack goes to his office. Ianto is surprised that Gwen isn't waiting to start screaming at Jack as is her usual when she's kicked him out the night before.

Jack's timing is impeccable and he shows up in the kitchen just as the coffee is finishing. He slides his hands around Ianto's waist from behind him just like he used to. “Jack, Gwen could be around. You shouldn't display affection like this.”

“She's in the shower, don't worry,” he says, and he kisses Ianto's neck. “I'll be careful.”

“And I'm saying,” says Ianto as he pulls away from Jack, “that you shouldn't do anything that you have to be careful about.” Ianto hands Jack his mug of coffee and leans against the counter. “Just keep your hands to yourself and we can have our morning conversation.”

“Morning sex and conversation, I've won the jackpot today.”

“Settle down, Jack.”

“You got it, Tiger.”

Ianto smiles at the pet name.

Forty minutes later and Gwen enters the kitchen area. “Good morning, Ianto, Jack. Can I get a coffee as well?”

“Sure,” says Ianto, “Coming right up.”

As Gwen starts to leave the kitchen, she turns and says to Jack, “Jack, sweety, can I speak to you for a moment?”

“Sure, I'll be right there,” says Jack and he turns to start rinsing out his coffee mug.

After Gwen leaves the kitchen, Ianto says quietly, “She seems extremely polite this morning. I don't know if that's a good or bad sign, and you never rinse out your coffee mug; you're stalling.”

“Yes, I am. I just want to ask you one last time before I talk to her. Will you take me back?”

Ianto realizes that Jack is saying that he'll break up with Gwen right now if he says yes, but then he thinks about what Jack is doing to Gwen right now and imagines being on her side of this. He would just be putting himself in Gwen's place, and it doesn't look like a good place. “Jack, I don't think that you're good for me,” says Ianto, looking at his feet instead of at Jack. “It's just, what we did last night, and this morning, while amazing sex, it was a bad thing. I didn't think that I was the type of person that would do that. You make me a worse person.”

Jack is stricken by Ianto's words, but he doesn't have anything to say to refute them.

“I'm sorry Jack, but I don't like who I am right now, and it's due to this carrying on with you. I think that you are a good person, but us together just leads to bad things.”

“Okay, but I'll keep trying.” Jack leaves his mug in the sink and leaves to talk to Gwen. Ianto starts to wash the mug and wonders if he should have said yes.

Jack meets Gwen in his office, where she is sitting on his desk, still smiling. Jack finds the smiles off putting seeing as she threw him out the previous night. Jack closes the door behind him and then goes and sits in his chair. Gwen turns to face him.

“Jack, we need to talk about us,” Gwen starts.

“I guess we do,” agrees Jack.

“I think I need to set some ground rules so that these same arguments don't keep happening,” says Gwen.

“What? Ground rules? You don't get to give me rules, Gwen.”

“Well, you're not receptive to having a discussion where you agree with my expectations of our relationship, so I need to give rules. You don't want me to leave you, do you? Because that's what's going to happen if you continue to disrespect me and have other lovers.” Gwen has her hands on her hips and stares down Jack.

Jack is torn. He knows that at times he's exasperated by Gwen, but she's also really good at soothing him when he's upset and he loves having sex with her. He's already thinking about the makeup sex they could be having soon. He's starting to think about how far he could get her ample breasts to bounce, when Gwen snaps her fingers in front of his face.

“Hello? Jack? Are you even paying attention?”

Jack stands up and puts his hands on Gwen's waist. “I'm sorry, I got distracted looking at you're beautiful body.” Only Jack could make that sentence sound sincere, and Jack is successful at distracting Gwen as she smiles and preens a bit under the compliment.

“Jack, it's not the time for that,” says Gwen, although she's relieved that he's thinking about her instead of someone else. “Let's start with where you went last night.”

Jack sighs and sits back down in his chair. He feels like a broken record sometimes. “After you kicked me out of my own home, it's none of your business where I went.”

“It's my home, too, Jack, and I have every right to kick you out when you behave so badly.”

“We disagree on what constitutes bad behavior. I've been nothing but honest with you, and that's no reason to kick me out of bed.”

“You keep cheating on me, Jack!” screams Gwen. Her fists curl up at her sides in her fury. “You tell me about the people you're with, even!”

“Gwen, I was inviting you along on a threesome. It's something I really think you would enjoy. You should just trust me about sex; I know what makes your body sing.”

“Jack, I'm just not interested in a threesome. Why would I want to watch you be with someone else or be with a stranger while you're there?”

“Because it feels wonderful, and I know you would like these things that I suggest if you would just give them a chance, or at least do the things that make me feel good.”

Gwen crosses her arms and looks down at the floor. “Is this why you go to other people? To do these weird things that I won't do?”

Jack sighs. “They're not weird Gwen, and sometimes, yes, but there are some things I just don't do with strangers that I really need.”

Gwen still looks at her toes. “You're talking about that bondage stuff where you tie people up.”

“Not people, but me. I want you to tie me up and give me orders and make me feel taken care of.”

Gwen looks up at Jack. “But I do take care of you. Every night that you're feeling overwhelmed, I soothe you to sleep. That's taking care of someone, not tying them up and abusing them.”

“It's not abuse Gwen. I know you have a very traditional idea of sex, but it is much more varied than what your parents told you about.”

“Jack, can you just respect the fact that I don't want to try these things, and I don't want you to sleep with other people either?”

Jack sighs again. “No.”

“What?”

“No, that's my needs not being met. Can you at least try some of them? Maybe you'll like them?”

Gwen feels like she's backed into a corner. Jack has basically said that if she doesn't try these strange sexual acts then he'll continue to cheat on her. She's afraid that he'll leave her if she pushes it more. She was only bluffing about leaving him. He has a look in his eye that tells her to be careful. “What if I said that I'll think about trying something that you want sometime soon, but we'd have to go very slowly, and I give no guarantees that I'll want to do it again.”

Jack brightens up. “Really? You'll think about it?”

“Yes, I'll think about it.” Gwen is pretty sure that she won't actually say yes to anything, but just promising to think about it makes Jack smile and look at her the way that she's used to, with lust.

Jack takes her face in his hands and kisses her fiercely. “Thank you!” He says between kisses.

“Jack,” Gwen says, “not right now. I'll think about it, is all.”

“Okay, but can we have sex now anyway?”

“Of course,” says Gwen, suddenly ready for him. All he has to do is press against her and she's wet.

“Let's go downstairs, then,” says Jack. Gwen is a little disappointed that he's still not wanting to stay in the office since she likes the idea that Ianto can hear them in there, but she's not going to press the issue and lets Jack take her hand and pull her towards the ladder.

Once downstairs, Jack pushes Gwen against the wall and resumes kissing her passionately. Unable to wait any longer, Gwen pulls her top over her head and reveals her lacy red bra.

“Oooh, are you wearing the matching panties, too?” asks Jack, practically drooling.

“That's for you to find out,” replies Gwen.

Jack quickly unfastens her jeans and pushes them down, revealing the aforementioned panties. Jack kneels in front of her with a lascivious groan. He strokes her through the panties, quickly getting her wet. He then pushes the crotch aside and sticks his hand in, stroking along her and paying attention to her clit, giving it a flick. Gwen moans and throws her head against the wall. Jack buries his face in her wet pussy and licks deep and long, ending in a suck against the nub. He presses two fingers inside her and can feel her already clenching. Thrusting his fingers in, Gwen moans with abandon. It's times like this that he forgets all his problems with her and doesn't think he could get by without sex with her. Her responsiveness and enthusiasm are great aphrodisiacs and Jack is painfully hard just from going down on her.

Jack uses his free hand to unfasten his own trousers and stick his hand in, roughly jerking himself off as he continues his ministrations on Gwen's pussy. She grabs her own breasts and pulls them out of the bra cups, pinching her own nipples as she moans. “God, Jack! I'm going to come!”

Jack sucks on her clit and shoves three fingers inside her as she clenches and screams his name. Her juices flow on his face, but he doesn't pull at himself and let himself come. He wants to fuck her. While she's still coming down from her orgasm, he wipes his face off with his sleeve and grabs her, tossing her to the bed. Her jeans are still around her thighs and he flips her over on her stomach with her legs hanging off the side. Quickly grabbing a condom from the bedside table and rolling it on, he grabs her hips and swiftly enters her wet cunt. She screams in pleasure as her clit is pushed against the bed. He roughly thrusts into her in a punishing pace and she cries out for more. He wishes he could see her breasts bouncing, as that's one of his favorite things about her, but he's enjoying the mostly clothed sex too much to stop. There's something so deliciously dirty about fucking with your clothes still on.

He bends down over her back and reaches his hands around her so he can hold and fondle her breasts and bite on her neck, precisely how he did to Ianto just this morning. He thinks how this is exactly what he wants, both of them multiple times a day. It takes two of them just to keep him satisfied. If only they would consent to being with him together. He thinks of how he was so recently thrusting just like this inside Ianto while now he has hands full of Gwen's breasts and he comes suddenly without warning. He keeps his mouth over her neck to keep from calling out Ianto's name as he relives that recent experience.

Jack pulls out of Gwen and takes off the condom. She rolls over on the bed, still with her legs hanging off, and Jack realizes that she hadn't come again and is still horny and ready for more. Jack is thankful for his accelerated healing at this moment because of all the sex he's had just this day, but he can still get it up for more.

“Hey, honey, do you want more?” asks Jack as Gwen stretches her arms above her and shows off her mostly exposed body.

“Yes, baby. Make me come again so that I can't see straight.”

“Get me hard again, touch me and get me ready,” he says. Gwen reaches forward and grabs Jack's cock, gently stroking and pulling until he grows fully hard again. When he's fully erect, Jack reaches over for another condom and rolls it on.

Jack reaches down and yanks her jeans and panties off of one of her legs so they are hanging off the other one. He then spreads them wide, straining her hips and holding her ankles high above her. “I'm going to make sure you can feel me all day and night,” says Jack. He then leans forward and thrusts inside while holding her ankles. While her bra is still around her, her breasts are free and he thrusts as hard and fast as he can to see them bounce. He tries to get them to hit her chin and he's just energized even more every time they get close. She braces her hands against the wall to keep from moving up and she pushes back at each thrust, groaning and yelling.

“Jack, oh baby, harder, yes, god, yes, harder!”

Jack thrusts as hard as he dares and he bends forward to catch a nipple in his mouth. Gwen clutches her legs in and screams and thrashes as she comes. Jack bites lightly on the nipple as she yells and then comes deep inside her with a groan.

Jack's so tired that he can barely move to get off her. He releases her ankles and pillows his head on her breasts. As her legs fall down, he hears the clump as her jeans finally fall off her leg and onto the floor. He slowly slips out from inside her, but can't be bothered to clean up the condom and just lays there catching his breath. Gwen is likewise immobilized through exhaustion. Jack knows that it's sex like this that keeps him with her. Maybe he can keep tempting Ianto to be with him on the side, but then he feels guilty remembering that Ianto said that he makes him a worse person. That's exactly what he was talking about. Jack feels guilty for laying on his lover while contemplating how to get her rival back in bed. If only they would both be with him, then everything would be just as he wants.

“Jack,” says Gwen breathlessly, “sex with you is the most intense experience I've ever had. I can understand everything you mean when you do these things to my body.” Gwen wraps her legs around Jack's back. Jack can feel the panties still around her ankle and he reaches back to pluck them off. He pulls the red lace up to his face and inhales the scent of her juices on them. “I think I get jealous when I think of you making other people feel like this, but it isn't like this when you're with strangers, is it? It couldn't possibly be this intense of a connection?”

Jack doesn't know how to answer that without starting a fight, so he pretends to drift off to sleep, which is easy enough since he's had so much sex that day. He knows that she would be able to tell that he was lying if he said no. The sex he had in the morning and the previous night with Ianto was even more personal and intense than what he just had with Gwen. The sex with Gwen is energetic and great, but it lacks the emotional content that he has with Ianto, and he knows now why Ianto said that he shouldn't tell Gwen about him. He doesn't want to hurt her, so he lets her believe that what they have is special.


	22. Chapter 22

Ianto looks at the closed door of Jack's office he feels awful. Things are the worst now than they've ever been. He feels tears start to well in his eyes, so he races off down to the lower levels. He goes back to the empty room with the chair and the white walls.

He's been back in this room a couple times whenever he feels the need to get away from the others and be completely alone so that he can think things through. It usually has to do with Jack, and this time is no different. He sits in the chair and takes some deep breaths to try to calm himself.

What the hell happened? How has it come to this where he is willingly and knowingly hurting Gwen? He was single for like two seconds before he jumps into bed with his ex just because he says that he loves him. Is that what changed him into a bad person? Is he that desperate for Jack's love? Even knowing that he has it, he still doesn't really believe it. Jack isn't actually trying to change and he isn't giving anything up, so why should Ianto change and give things up for Jack?

Ianto blinks and takes another deep breath, looking at the white walls. Now he's even more confused and he really wants another opinion, but he wants it to be someone with distance from these people. Tosh isn't really separate enough from everyone. He also doesn't want to ask someone who doesn't already know enough about him. Old school friends and family would have to get past the idea of him being bisexual first. This really only leaves one possible person to talk to. He just hopes that it's not too inappropriate.

At 6:30, Ianto walks into the pub and gets a booth at the back. Ordering himself a pint, he's happy to see that she's just as punctual as ever. Emily walks in the door and immediately spots him. He waves her over. “Hey, Emily. Thanks for meeting up with me.”

“Well, you did say it was important. I couldn't really say no.” She slides in the booth across from him.

“I took the liberty of ordering you a drink. I hope that's alright.”

“Sure, as long as that means you're paying for it,” she says with a slight smile. “Now stop stalling and tell me what you need to tell me.”

“Well,” Ianto starts, “this could be very awkward and inappropriate, but you're the only person I could think of to help me with this. So, if you feel like you need to bail, just say so.”

“Okay,” Emily says. Ianto doesn't start back up immediately since the server comes by with their drinks. After she leaves, he leans in and speaks quietly.

“Emily, you were right about me and Jack. I still have feelings for him. We hadn't been split up but a few days before I found myself succumbing to him.”

“You're back with him?”

“No, but I slept with him. You see, he told me that he loves me, and he's never done that before. It felt like what I'd always wanted to hear from him, only it was at the completely wrong time. He should have done it when I asked him to, not now when he's living with someone else.”

“He's still with his girlfriend? Ianto,” Emily says his name with a lilt of disappointment.

“I know, believe me, I know. You can't feel worse about me than I do. You see, Jack doesn't think of it as cheating. He's never promised to be monogamous with her, the same as he did with me, but I know that since she knows me and he says he loves me, that it would be devastating to her, and so it is cheating, no matter what Jack says.”

Emily puts her hands on top of Ianto's. “Are you going to continue to see him on the side?”

“No, I never had any intention of doing this, and I feel terrible about myself.”

“Okay. Is that all it is, the fact that you slept with Jack, or is there something else?”

Ianto bites his lip. “Kind of. See, he says that he'll leave her and be with me again, but there's nothing different to when we were together before, despite him saying that he loves me. I'd just end up in the same position that his girlfriend is in, or worse, and I hated being so insecure about him.” Ianto feels like he might start crying, and he really doesn't want to do that, so he stops talking.

“Clearly, you didn't break up just because he didn't say that he loves you, otherwise you'd be with him now.”

“I thought that's why I left.”

“Well, let's get to what it is you really want. You clearly want him, seeing as you went back to him very quickly.”

“I'm so sorry, it doesn't mean anything about you,” interjects Ianto.

“I know,” Emily pacifies, “It just says that you never stopped loving him. But now you won't take him back, so why not? What were you feeling when you broke up with him?”

“I was insecure about him wanting me. I felt like he would stop wanting to have sex with me at any moment, or that he would fall in love with someone else.”

“What about him not being monogamous? Was that a concern?”

“Only a little, in the way that I thought he might fall in love with someone else that was a better lay or just struck his fancy more than me. I really didn't mind about him wanting some strange now and then, and I've even found out that it was a lot less than I assumed, I was just worried that he had feelings for other people.”

Emily pulled her mouth to the side as she thought.

“If this is too weird, we can stop,” Ianto says hastily.

“No, it's alright. I'm just thinking. When he said he'd leave his girlfriend for you, did he leave her?”

“Well, no, because I told him that I wouldn't take him back, and he'd rather be with her than be with no one.”

“I think that shows the problem.”

“I don't begrudge him wanting someone over no one.”

“I know you think that, but it's also showing you that he doesn't really want you that much. He would try to woo you and win you if he felt strongly about you. Since he doesn't, he just giving you that insecurity again. I think that until he gives something up for you, you won't be able to trust that he's actually wanting to be with you and not just be with anyone.”

“You're really good at cutting to the bone of a problem.”

“I know. I'm a problem solver,” Emily says glibly and takes a swig of her pint.

“What about what I've done? Doesn't that make me a terrible person and someone who doesn't deserve to be loved?”

“No, Ianto. It's not good, what you've both done, but you aren't actually the cheater, you're just the enabler. And I believe you when you say that you're sorry and regret it. I don't mean to diminish what you guys have done, but I also don't think you should change you're entire attitude about what kind of person you are because of it. Just don't make a habit of it, eh?”

“Emily? Can I just sit here with you for a while. I feel way less horrible around you.”

“Sure, let's get some food and we'll make a night of it.”

“Thank you,” says Ianto as Emily picks up a menu.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry that some of you aren't into how this story is going. My idea was to have a story about some very complicated relationships with people who all want different things. I usually write straight forward Janto, and you can find some romance in my works "Sleeping Over" and "Valentine's Day". Here, I'm exploring a Jack who separates love and sex while dating people who don't. Also, he has a lot of emotional demons from his long life and therefore can't commit any longer, as well as doesn't think he deserves happiness. This leads to him sabotaging his own relationships and hurting those around him. I don't think he's a bad person the way I've written him, and I don't think it makes him a bad person to like a lot of sex. I'm also trying to get Ianto to demand what he needs and not be the butler. It ends up Janto, but it's not the lovey dovey romance that I usually write.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the posting delay. Life was getting in the way.

Two weeks later and Ianto has managed to put off Jack's advances. He's been a little handsy, but nothing too bad. They've been having very intense morning talks, mostly about emotional baggage and what they want out of life. Ianto has never felt closer to Jack, and yet he's still living with Gwen. While he desperately wants to have sex with Jack again, the sneaking around is a turn off, and he doesn't give in to his baser desires. He does, however, allow small touches of affection as they touch each other on the arm and cheek. 

He notices that Gwen and Jack have been rather distant and cold with each other that he's seen. He doesn't know if it's that way in private, because Jack doesn't talk about her, which Ianto is thankful for. He has decided that it's none of his business or concern, and he's trying to move past it. Gwen treats Ianto the same as always, so he doesn't know if Jack told her about their night of passion.

Ianto has had dinner with Emily a couple more times and they're turning out to be better as friends than they were as a couple. Ianto loves having someone outside of the group to whom he can turn with questions. Emily does the same and fills him in on all the drama at her office. However, since Ianto has been distancing himself from his work friends, he hasn't been spending much time with Tosh, and she's noticed.

In the evening, Tosh makes sure to walk out at the same time as Ianto. “Hey, Ianto, walk me to my car?” She asks, even though her car is very close.

“Um, sure,” Ianto replies, knowing that something is up. After just a few moments, they are at Tosh's car door. “What's up?”

“I was just wondering why we haven't seen each other lately. I know from Jack that you must have things you need to talk about. I guess I'm just worried that you're keeping things bottled inside and not talking about them.”

Ianto frowns, realizing that Tosh must know more than he thought, thanks to Jack. “Don't worry, I've been talking things out with Emily. She's been great. It's nothing to do with you,” he adds hastily, “I just wanted someone disinterested from everything here.”

“Oh, okay. I get it,” Tosh replies. “I was worried that it might be because I talk to Jack, like I'm picking a side or something.”

“No, no, there's no sides. I talk to Jack a lot, and we're just as good friends as ever.” Ianto hesitates and then says quietly, “How much do you know about?”

“Just enough to know that you shouldn't keep it inside. If you're talking to Emily, then that's fine. I didn't want to imply that you have to tell me everything.”

“I do want to talk to you, Tosh, it's just been nice to have someone outside of it all. And you are Jack's friend as well as mine, and I don't want to put strain on you by hearing both us complain about the other.”

“Ianto,” Tosh says seriously, “Jack doesn't complain about you. He won't shut up about how much he loves you.”

“Really?” Ianto looks up uncertainly.

“Yeah, it's getting kind of repetitive, really.” Tosh shows a slight smile that reveals how she doesn't really mind Jack's repetitiveness. “He does complain about Gwen, though. Honestly, if I were you, I'd start rethinking Jack.”

Ianto sighs. “Tosh, I'm not going through that again. If he really loves me, then he'll leave Gwen and he'll make me believe he loves me, because right now, I just can't feel it.”

“Don't worry, I already told him something similar. He gets the picture.” Tosh then gets in her car and drives away, leaving Ianto to contemplate what she means by that.

Two days later and Ianto is in the archives, finishing some filing, when Jack enters. “Hey, Tiger.”

The nickname automatically makes Ianto smile. “Hello, sir.”

“Mmmm, I love it when you call me that.”

“I know,” says Ianto, and he gives Jack a wink. “So, is there anything I can do for you, sir?”

“So much, so much.” Jack steps well into Ianto's personal space.

“You're in a mood. What's gotten you so happy?”

“I've come to a decision, or maybe it's a realization.”

“Really?”

“This morning, I decided that I'm breaking up with Gwen today after work.”

“Really?” Ianto looks up, surprised.

“I've been with her because I can't have you, but I've been ignoring the fact that my not breaking up with Gwen is the main reason that I'm not with you.”

“There's more to it than just that, Jack,” Ianto says, putting another file in the drawer. “I'm not going to get back with you just because you leave her.”

“I know,” Jack says hastily. It'll take time and a lot of effort, but it will never happen if I just stick with my backup plan.”

“How romantic,” Ianto says dryly. 

“I know,” Jack says with a sigh. “I'm not really good with this sort of thing. Can you help me?”

“You want me to help you break up with Gwen?” Ianto doesn't think his eyebrows can reach any higher.

“No, I just want you to make sure I don't make things worse, after all, you are my friend. Look, I just want to go over the basics of what I'm planning on saying.”

“Okay,” Ianto sighs.

“I'm going to start with telling her that I care about her, but I don't love her, and I can't keep living with her, preventing her from being with someone who will love her and marry her.”

“She's not going to fall for the whole 'it's not you, it's me' shtick.”

“So, you think I should go with something else?”

Ianto sighs, again. “No, I don't think anything else would go over well either, just be prepared for her to call you out on it.”

“Well, it is true, but maybe if she resists then I'll follow up with how we don't work well together, and we want different things.”

“Haven't you told her that already?”

“Well, yes,” Jack admits, “but it's still all true.”

“You need to be very direct with her. Don't leave any opportunity for her to convince you that things are actually going well.”

“You're right,” Jack leans against the filing cabinet. “In response she usually just says that she agrees with me and that she loves me and everything will be all right, in a manner of speaking. Then she distracts me with sex.”

“That's not a difficult thing to do,” Ianto smiles.

“You got me there. Okay, then if none of that works, I'll tell her the real reason. I'm choosing you over her, and I'll never love her the way I do you. That will hurt, but it will get her angry enough to leave, and she can't really spin that another way.”

Ianto just looks at Jack. He's disoriented. Here's Jack, who he is still friends with, casually discussing how much he loves him and is leaving his girlfriend (even if he doesn't call her that) for him. “Jack, Are you sure you're okay with doing this even though I might never get back with you? You might end up with neither of us.”

Jack looks into Ianto's eyes. “Yes, I'm sure. I know it's the right thing to do because I haven't felt this relieved and free for months. This decision has changed everything. Ianto, it's too late. It doesn't matter that I was trying to keep myself safe from loving you. I fell for you anyway, and I just didn't realize it in time. It's going to hurt too much when you die, and I don't think I'll be able to get over you.”

Ianto unexpectedly feels control. He doesn't know why as it's Jack saying everything and making decisions, but he feels like he has control over this man in front of him. This man that says he loves him and is damn sexy looking into his eyes. Ianto looks away trying to reign in his lustful thoughts. Ianto wants to regain control over Jack and make him beg a little.

“Jack, what are you willing to do to prove it?”

“What do you want me to do?”

Ianto gets a predatory gleam in his eye that Jack finds entrancing. “I'm not coming back to you, but I want to feel you just once more. Will you fuck me just once and then let me go? Can you do that?”

Jack swallows the sudden lust and trepidation. Could he really just up and leave Ianto after getting another taste? “You want me just once and then never again? What if I don't accept that?”

“That's the deal. Take it or leave it.”

Jack thinks that this is the test. He has to do whatever Ianto asks of him to show that he respects Ianto's decisions. “Okay, I'll do whatever you want me to, even if it'll be terrible to pull myself away.”

Ianto grabs Jack, kissing him for all he's worth. Ianto has discovered that he's a complete sucker for Jack declaring his love for him. Jack pulls Ianto close and they press against each other, wrapping themselves around the other man.

Ianto pulls back from the kiss to say, “Jack, remember, I'm not taking you back, but I do want you inside me right now.”

“Yes, sir,” says Jack as he immediately starts unfastening Ianto's belt, and Ianto pushes down Jack's braces. Clothes are thrown off and pushed aside and Jack lifts Ianto onto the nearby desk that Ianto uses for archiving. Jack pulls open the drawer and starts rummaging around.

“There isn't any lube in there anymore. I cleaned it all out,” says Ianto with disappointment.

“Don't worry,” says Jack, and he rushes over to where his trousers are on the ground and finds lube and a condom in the pockets. “Always prepared.”

Jack comes back to Ianto, splayed out on the desk and he crawls on top of him, kissing him and rubbing their cocks together. Ianto pulls Jack into a deep kiss as Jack dribbles lube on his fingers and reaches down to stretch and prepare Ianto. Ianto moans as Jack's fingers enter him and he thrusts back into them, fucking himself.

“Gods, Ianto, I miss you begging for it like this.” Jack presses his finger into Ianto's prostate, and Ianto bites his lip to keep from yelling, but he can't suppress the moan.

“Please, Jack. I want you inside of me.”

Jack quickly stretches Ianto, using three fingers, and then he rips open a condom package and rolls it onto his throbbing cock. Using his wet fingers, he strokes himself to add more lube before lining himself up to Ianto's hole. He wraps his arms around Ianto's back to pull him up a bit and he pushes inside.

“Faster, Jack.”

Jack pushes deep inside Ianto until his balls slap Ianto's arse. Ianto clenches around him and wraps his legs around Jack's waist.

“Please, fast and hard. I want you to fuck me like you're claiming me.”

Jack pulls mostly out and then thrusts hard into Ianto, forcing groans from them both. He speeds up and thrusts hard, holding onto Ianto so that he doesn't push further up the table. With each thrust, Ianto feels his prostate explode in sensation and he presses his arse up to meet Jack's hips, grunting at each exertion.

“Yes, Ianto. Please, I want you to be mine.”

“Yes, Jack. Make me yours. Harder! Please, fuck me, harder!

Jack complies, thrusting as hard as he can manage with the desk groaning worryingly underneath them, and Ianto moaning louder with each stronger and desperate thrust. With their grunting and gasping, Jack doesn't register the sound of breaking ceramic. Ianto doesn't miss it though and stops thrusting back and tries to look over his shoulder to where the sound came from. There stands Gwen, staring with open mouth, surrounded by broken coffee mug.

Ianto frantically taps Jack on the arm. “Jack, stop. Stop!”

Jack realizes what Ianto's saying and notices where he's looking. “Shit,” he says as he sees Gwen and stops his movement. “I hadn't gotten around to breaking up with her just yet.”

“So I gathered. Get out of me. Move!” Ianto suppresses a groan as Jack pulls out of him and away from one of the best fucks he'd ever experienced. 

As Jack pulls out, Ianto sits up on the desk, wincing as he hits his stretched and sore arse. Their clothes are across the room, so Ianto doesn't have anything to cover up with, so Ianto simply sits there with his naked back facing the door. Jack doesn't have a problem with walking around naked, even with a condom covered hard on still wet with lube.

“Gwen, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to see this.”

Gwen snorts with disgust. “I bet. So why were you having sex down here in the basement of where we live and work during work hours if you didn't want me to find out.”

“Good point,” says Jack. It does seem rather obvious that he wasn't being at all careful. “What I mean is, I meant to talk to you first, but I got carried away.”

“Jack,” Ianto interrupts. “Could you toss me my clothes and maybe you guys should talk in private.”

“Yeah,” says Jack as he bends down and picks up clothes, separating them and tossing Ianto's to him. Gwen just stands there and waits for him, watching as Jack takes the condom off his still hard cock and pulls on his pants, trying to shove the erection into his tight pants. Jack puts on his trousers and vest, but just holds the rest of his clothes.

“Gwen, let's go talk in my room,” he says as he tries to lead her out.

“Don't you mean, our room?” says Gwen, but she allows Jack to usher her out of the room. Jack spares a glance over at Ianto as he leaves, who is still in the middle of getting dressed.


	24. Chapter 24

Gwen stalks angrily through the hub straight to Jack's office with Jack trudging behind her. He notices that Tosh is not at her work station and he doesn't see Owen around anywhere either. As he follows Gwen into the office he asks, “Where are Tosh and Owen?”

“Well,” starts Gwen, spinning around toward him, “whilst you were downstairs fucking the tea boy, I was doing your job for you. There was a small rift alert and I sent them out to pick up whatever came through while I tried to locate our missing leader.”

Jack feels bad about having shirked his responsibilities and let the team down so he could have it off with Ianto. “I didn't think I was gone that long.”

“Long enough to have been missed. How often were you two down there that we didn't notice?”

“We haven't been doing that regularly. I was just in such a mood that he let me do things that he normally wouldn't have.” Jack wanted to deflect her anger from Ianto and onto him, where he felt it belonged.

“Really? Because it sure didn't sound like he was being coerced. He was begging for it if my ears are to be believed.”

“You know I just have that effect when we get going. I had you on this desk right here with everyone listening in if you recall. You were quite vocal as well.”

“But we weren't cheating! You bastard! I'm right here and you prefer to go downstairs and have it off with him instead? And I don't believe that this hasn't been going on all along. All that bullshit about him having a girlfriend and you two just being friends, that never fooled me!”

“That was all true. He only had sex with me because I went down there telling him how I had made up my mind to break up with you and get you out of my hair! In my mind, I already had and it didn't feel like cheating.”

“Break up with me?! You're breaking up with me?”

“What, after walking into that you think we're going to make up? Clearly we shouldn't be together. It's not healthy for either of us. You need someone like Rhys and I need to get back in Ianto's good graces.”

“I think I saw his good graces, and you were clearly inside it,” says Gwen, dripping with sarcasm.

“No, actually. He hasn't taken me back, he just agreed to one fuck. I'm breaking up with you anyway, because I would rather be alone right now.”

“You can't stand being alone. It's me you cry to at night. What are you going to do without me to soothe you to sleep?”

“I'll figure it out. It's not like I've never been alone before. And at the beginning you were amazing. You helped me when I was so broken after Ianto left me. You made me believe that I could live without him, but now you just yell and scream and won't even let me finish a thought.”

“Maybe I was just tired of you not being happy with me. I was supposed to make you happy.”

“You don't,” Jack says. “You haven't for a long time.”

“I can't listen to this anymore,” says Gwen. “I need you to leave.”

“No, Gwen, you need to leave. This is my home, not yours.”

“Where am I supposed to go, Jack?”

“Wherever you want. I've repeatedly asked you to get your own place, but then you convince me that it's not necessary, well it's clearly necessary now. This is my home, go get your own.”

“You're just kicking me out with nothing and nowhere to go?”

“What do you think you've been doing to me? Pack a bag and go to a hotel or go to Owen's and have it off with him!”

“You bastard!” Gwen grabs her purse from a side table and turns and leaves the office. She doesn't pack a bag.

Jack collapses into his desk chair and puts his elbows on the desk. He sinks his head into his hands and lets the tears fall. He thought he would be happy to get rid of her, and although he is relieved that it's over, he's not happy. For one, they're so mean to each other and they just said horrible things. He knows that they don't really feel that way; how can they be so mean to each other? Also, he has had a lot of comfort from her in the past, and he really does have feelings for her. He doesn't want her to stay, but he didn't mean to be so mean. That's why he was practicing tactics, so that this sort of thing wouldn't happen.

After getting dressed, Ianto cleans up his work space. Papers have fallen all over the floor and everything that was on his desk is now scattered about. He finds the tube of lube by the desk and throws it in the drawer where he used to keep some. He has to get the cleaning supplies to clean off the lube that has dripped on his desk top. Jack was never too clean about its application in the heat of the moment. He can still feel all the lube on him, inside his crack and a little on his thighs, also some on the outside of his thighs and even on his legs from Jack's hands. He's finally starting to lose his erection, at least. When he's done with the cleaning, he doesn't know what to do. He feels like he can feel someone watching him over the CCTV, so even though he would try to distract himself with the work he needs to get done, he really wants to leave where he can be watched. He doesn't know if it would be Jack or Gwen, but he just feels exposed, ironic now that he's clothed.

Ianto walks down the hallways deep into the base until he gets to the room that he now thinks of as his thinking room. He knows that he can sit down in that chair and be totally alone. He looks at the wall and realizes that the previous meaning of this room has now been overwritten for him, and he only sees the empty room that gives him privacy. He's relieved at this realization and wonders when it happened.

Ianto wonders how the fight is going between Gwen and Jack. Is he really going to go through with it and finally break up with her? Half of him doesn't believe it. Finally, Ianto feels composed enough to leave his private place and poke his head upstairs to see how things are going up there.

He walks slowly and stops right as he gets tot the door to the main hub, and he listens to see if he can hear if the fight is still going. He hears nothing but silence, so he pokes his head around the corner and doesn't see anyone. He now walks directly and boldly into the room and finds it empty. Did he miss something? Did everyone leave him there? Maybe there was an emergency and they couldn't find him. Ianto looks up at Jack's office and is surprised to see that he's sitting there at his desk by himself.

Jack doesn't hear Ianto until he's walking across the office. Ianto embraces him and turns him around so that Jack can bury his face into his shoulder. Ianto quietly rubs his back and lets Jack cry it out without saying a word. Eventually, Jack pulls back and starts wiping his face off. Ianto produces a handkerchief and gently mops up the remaining wetness from his face. He has red eyes and his face is splotchy, so Ianto suggests that Jack go and wash his face before the others come back from the field.

When Jack returns to his office, looking much better, he finds a fresh cup of coffee waiting for him. When he goes out to find Ianto to thank him, he finds Ianto chatting with Tosh and Owen, getting the update from the rift retrieval. Jack goes out and seamlessly enters the conversation, and doesn't let Tosh and Owen know that anything was wrong just a few minutes ago.

Neither Tosh nor Owen mention the fact that Gwen isn't in the office for the rest of the day. While they assume there was another row, they don't ask for specifics. At six, they both leave and Ianto is left with Jack.

“I don't think she's coming back, Jack,” says Ianto as he walks into Jack's office.

“Good. I'm not making up with her this time. I meant it when I said I was breaking up with her for good this time.”

“I believed you then, but I guess I figured you'd see it in your heart to take her back, just like all the other times,” says Ianto, unsure of his place.

“Ianto,” Jack looks Ianto in the eyes, “I wasn't lying. I really am going to try everything I can to win you back, for good, and it starts with freeing myself from Gwen.”

“Jack, I don't mean to diminish the effect of this decision on you. Even though it's what you want, I know you still care about her and it has to be hard to be splitting up with her, and so acrimoniously as well.”

Jack just looks at his hands on the desk. “But I want you to believe me when I say that this is what I want.”

“I know, Jack, but I give you permission to be sad about it.”

Jack can't stop the tears from coming again. “It's just that she's held me at night when I can't help the sadness, and she makes it go away.”

“That's it. I'm not leaving you alone tonight. You're coming over to mine. Go on, pack up a bag.”

“Ianto, I know I need to get used to being alone.”

“Not right now, you don't. I'm not leaving you in this condition. You're coming over to mine, just to sleep.”

Ianto takes Jack's hand and pulls him over to the hatch to his bedroom and drags him down the ladder. Ianto pulls out the familiar overnight bag that's tossed in a corner and opens the wardrobe. “Good lord, Jack! What happened in here?” Clothes are thrown on the bottom and the ones hanging are barely stuffed inside. There are dirty clothes mixed in with clean and a musty smell coming from them.

“I haven't really gotten back in the habit of cleaning since you left.”

“Clearly,” says Ianto as he starts pulling out some of Jack's clothes and sniffing them. Moving to the dresser, Ianto digs around until he finds some clean pants and socks. Since Gwen has taken over most of the drawers, nothing is where it used to be and he has to dig through her lacy knickers to get to his. Once he has enough things packed, including basic toiletries (although he is so disgusted by the state of the bathroom that he mostly throws in what he sees straight away), he brings Jack back up to the office and gets his coat on for him.

Jack seems numb and just lets Ianto drag him to the car and stares out the window. He doesn't even really remember the drive to Ianto's apartment, but they're suddenly there. Ianto takes him inside and Jack expects Ianto to take out the linens to make up the sofa, but instead he brings Jack's overnight bag into the bedroom and coaxes him down onto the bed.

“You can sleep with me in my bed tonight, but I don't think it's a good idea for you to have any sex right now. You're not in a proper frame of mind, and I don't want you to confuse the situation.”

Jack thinks that this might be the first time that he doesn't want to have sex. He just isn't thinking about anything, but sleeping sounds good. It isn't even dinner time, but Jack lays down on the bed and lets Ianto take off his shoes and pull the duvet up around him.

“Just lie down by yourself for a while. I'll make us some dinner and you can have some if you'd like. Afterwards, I'll join you in bed. You don't have to be alone tonight, Jack.”

As Ianto turns to leave, Jack reaches out and grasps his hand. Jack doesn't say anything, just looks at Ianto and gives his hand a squeeze before letting him go.

Ianto just makes a simple soup and sandwich, figuring that Jack probably doesn't have any sort of appetite and he's more likely to eat something simple. Ianto feels terrible for what they did to Gwen and he knows that he has no excuse for it.

Later that evening, Ianto washes up the dinner dishes. He had managed to convince Jack to eat some of the soup and sandwich, but not much. He didn't try to start any conversation about what had happened, but just let Jack wallow in his grief. Even though it is over the departure of his rival, he still can't fault Jack for being upset over the loss of his security. Ianto finishes cleaning up and goes into the bedroom where Jack continues to lie awake and unmoving in his clothes. Ianto pulls back the duvet and starts to strip Jack out of his clothes, much as one would a child. Jack seems uninterested as Ianto lifts up Jack's arms and moves him around to get the clothes off. Once Jack is down to his underpants, Ianto puts the duvet back over him. Stripping himself down to his pants as well, Ianto crawls in beside Jack and curls up around him, offering comfort and warmth. It isn't too much later that Jack finally drifts off to sleep.


	25. Chapter 25

Morning comes and Ianto wakes early, having gone to bed so early. Jack is awake already and looking down at him.

“I'm sorry,” says Jack.

“For what?” asks Ianto.

“For everything that just happened. You had to take me here and comfort me all night because I was so upset over another lover. And now I'm sure that you don't even want to look at me again, and I'm just so sorry that I've screwed up any chance I had with you.”

“Jack, what are you talking about? You're here because I'm your friend, and I will always be your friend. You haven't screwed up with me. What we did to Gwen was terrible, just reprehensible, but we did it together, and you didn't hurt me.”

“But seeing what I can do to people who love me, don't you want to run away from me again?”

“Jack, I'm sorry. I've been a right prat about all this. I've been trying to be mature and level headed, but I'm neither of those things when it comes to you. I should never have asked you to fuck me in the middle of the archives like that. It's all my fault that this went over so wrong. I should have just let you break up with her the way you intended to and waited my turn.”

“You didn't make me do anything, Ianto. I was just waiting for the word to jump you, any word really. And my sadness right now has just as much to do with offending you as it does with Gwen. Just please don't tell me that you won't be with me ever again.”

“Jack, I really don't know, but I can say that I will always be there as your friend.”

Jack looks at Ianto, “What about as something more?”

Ianto looks away from Jack, “I just don't know. It's not that I don't want to, it's just that I was so unhappy and I've just been getting more and more unhappy. You'd have to give me a reason to get back with you, and frankly, I just don't see what that could possibly be right now.”

Jack looks down at his lap. “I understand, I really do.” He looks up into Ianto's eyes. “In fact, I think I finally understand.”

Ianto smiles uncertainly.

“Can I hug you at least?” Jack asks after a moment.

“Yes. We can hug,” Ianto replies and Jack wraps his arms around him and squeezes.

They both get up and get showered and dressed. Even though Ianto doesn't much feel like it, they go into work since they have to keep protecting Cardiff. Ianto just doesn't want to face Gwen and the ire he knows he deserves. Shame fills up his stomach as he knots his tie.

Gwen, however, seems to have other ideas, since she doesn't show up that day. Ianto doesn't know if he should feel relieved or even more guilty. After all, he took off for a week after Jack got with Gwen in the office. Unfortunately, her absence was noticed by Tosh and Owen, which meant that some reason for it had to be given. Jack wanted to be vague and not give a real answer, but Ianto thought it better to tell the truth since they're likely to find out from Gwen herself anyway.

“What do you mean she's just not here?” asks Tosh. Owen is pretending not to care, but Ianto can see that he's not really paying attention to the paperwork he's scribbling on.

“She's not here yet and I have no information on whether or not she'll show, but my best guess is that she won't be in today,” replies Jack shortly.

“Shouldn't you know?” asks Owen. “Both as the boss and as her fuck buddy?”

“Thank you, Owen, for that,” says Ianto, “but I'm afraid it's my fault, so we're not holding it against her that she's not here. It won't count against her days off or anything.”

“It's my fault, really,” says Jack.

“No,” interrupts Ianto, “it's mine.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” says an exasperated Tosh.

“Jack and I,” starts Ianto, but Jack interrupts.

“I had decided to break it off with Gwen and I went down to tell Ianto yesterday...”

“I was acting unreasonably...”

“And I jumped the gun and made it seem...”

“No, I knew what I was doing, and it's unforgivable...”

“No, it was all me...”

Tosh slams her hand on the desk. “What the hell is going on?” she growls.

“Ianto, let me,” says Jack. Ianto nods and steps back to let Jack tell it. “I had decided to break it off with Gwen and I went down to tell Ianto in the hopes that he would be excited and want to be with me again. I hadn't actually told Gwen about my decision, so I was jumping the gun and Ianto and I started reconnecting a little early.”

“Reconnecting? Is that what they're calling it these days?” says Owen with a snort.

“Exactly. We were acting inappropriately and were in the middle of it,” Jack spares a glance back at Ianto who is now blushing furiously, “when Gwen came down and found us.”

“Oh shit! Hahaha!” Owen explodes into laughter.

“It's not exactly funny, Owen,” yells Ianto.

“Like hell it isn't. It's bloody hilarious,” retorts Owen, still laughing.

“It was horrible of us. I can imagine how terrible I'd feel if it was me that had walked in on that. I can't forgive myself.”

“Of course you can,” says Owen, having finished laughing and now just grinning like a madman. “You all know that she was having it off with me when she was with Rhys, she had it off with Jack as well when she was with Rhys, Andy's thrown in a few hints here and there that she was known around the police station as an easy lay, all while she was with Rhys. It's her just deserts, don't you see? It's karma coming round to bite her in the ass.”

“No one deserves that, Owen. I wasn't trying to hurt her, but I did,” says Ianto.

Tosh breaks in, “Ianto, don't be so hard on yourself. While I know it must have been horrible for her, I have a hard time feeling sorry for her. Owen's right that she deserved some sort of punishment for her behavior to all of us. It might not be the direct consequences of her bad behavior, but it's something that she had coming to her.”

“I'm surprised to hear you say that,” says Ianto. “I thought you would see how terrible I am now.”

Tosh stands up and goes over to Ianto. “Oh, Ianto. You're a good person and you always try for the best. It was ill-timed, but you weren't trying to hurt her. And it's not anything more than she would have done herself.” Tosh gives Ianto a hug that he accepts eagerly. He hadn't realized until this moment how much he needed a hug and forgiveness for what he saw as a terrible crime. “I've been stealing the ink out of her pens for two months now.”

Ianto pulls back from the hug to look at Tosh askance, and she just has a delightful grin. “She never noticed?”

“I think that she thinks that she's incredibly unlucky, but that was the general idea.”

“That explains all the pen supply requests from her,” Ianto mumbles. 

“Listen,” says Owen, “since I'm the only person here she probably doesn't want to hit right now, I'll go find Gwen and see what kind of mood she's in. Then I'll calm her down if she needs it.”

“How are you going to do that?” asks Jack with a frown.

“You know, I'm willing to take one for the team if I need to,” says Owen with a wink as he stands. Both Jack and Ianto roll their eyes. “I'll text you guys when I figure out what needs to be done.” Owen says more seriously as he grabs his jacket and heads toward the door.

Just after Owen leaves, the rift alarm sounds. “Christ, now?!” exclaims Ianto. “We're two people down!”

“It's okay, Ianto,” says Jack. “We'll manage.”

“It's only some debris,” says Tosh, scrolling through the screen of data. “You two can pick it up.”

Jack is anxious to get out of the hub anyway, and he runs and gets his coat. Before Ianto can follow him, Tosh grabs his arm. “Are you okay? I know how you can beat up on yourself and I really don't think you should feel bad.”

“I'm really ashamed,” answers Ianto, “but I'm not really sorry. It felt nice to be in control and to finally do what I wanted to do for a change. Everyone else seems to get along fine by just thinking about themselves; it was time that I did the same. Not that I would ever do something like that again,” he adds hastily.

“Good, I don't want this to break you. And you do look better today, a little more confident.”

“Thanks,” Ianto tosses back to Tosh as Jack grabs him and they rush out the door.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I was editing this chapter, I decided that I hated it and had to completely rewrite. That's made other things necessary to rewrite, so there will continue to be a day or two between postings sometimes.

As Ianto puts the containment box with the debris inside the back of the SUV, Jack puts his arms around Ianto's waist.

“Jack, I can't work while you do that,” says Ianto, a little irritated.

“Sorry,” says Jack, and he pulls his hands back. “I was just remembering what we used to do when we'd go weevil hunting together or on a retrieval. Guess I got carried away.”

“It's okay,” Ianto says, turning toward Jack and putting his hands on his hips. “I was remembering that, too. It's just, I'm not the same person I was then. So much has changed for me, and I can't just go back to how things were before.”

“I know,” says Jack, “and I am sorry.”

“I know. Let's just get back to the hub.” Ianto closes the boot and walks around to the driver's side.

Jack sighs, but gets in the vehicle. 

Owen wasn't back yet when Ianto and Jack get back to the hub. Jack goes to work in his office while Ianto sits at Owen's work station to get some reports uploaded on the mainframe. Tosh keeps sneaking looks at him from her desk.

“I know you want to say something,” says Ianto.

Tosh sighs. “I don't want to be too personal.”

“After yesterday, I don't think I can complain about personal stuff in the workplace.”

“Well, it's just that I've been wondering with all this sex in the workplace, is Jack really that good in bed?” Tosh leans forward conspiratorially with a little smile.

Ianto turns a little red. “Well,” Tosh prompts.

“He's very enthusiastic.”

“That's it? Enthusiastic?” Tosh says disbelievingly.

Ianto looks down at his paperwork. “I guess you have to experience it to understand.”

“Can you try to explain it?”

Ianto really feels uncomfortable talking this openly. “I guess it's just that he's completely focused on you. You sort of believe that it's the best time that he's ever had, and he really has amazing technique in all aspects. I imagine it's the years of experience.”

Tosh decides that that's the best she's going to get from Ianto and let's him refocus on his work.

Ianto has a hard time focusing, though, as his mind keeps wandering to Jack and his personal problems. Also, he feels like he's being watched by Tosh and Jack, even though every time he looks up, neither of them seem to be looking at him. Eventually, Ianto can't take the exposure anymore and decides to go downstairs to be by himself.

He wanders into his thinking room and sits down, feeling able to finally breathe deep. He's down there for about ten minutes when the door creaks open. Ianto is so surprised that he jumps up and the folding chair clatters and threatens to fold and fall. His mouth hangs open when he sees Jack walk through the door, whose face looks just as surprised to see Ianto.

“Ianto! What are you doing in here!”

Ianto suddenly realizes what it must look like, him spending time in this room, the scene of his greatest failure and despair. “It's not what it looks like,” he blurts out. “I just come here to be alone and think.”

“In here?” Jack looks at Ianto incredulously.

“Yeah,” he says sheepishly. “It wasn't on purpose. I was just curious, I guess, and looked in here one day when I was looking for someplace private. I found it like this, and it became a good place to sit and think.” Ianto looks at Jack. “Wait, why are you in here?”

Jack looks equally sheepish. “To be alone and think,” he says. Ianto raises an eyebrow and Jack sighs. He turns and starts to wander toward the far wall. “While you were on suspension, I couldn't stand the thought of this place being here. I thought if I cleaned it up, it would fix it. I took out every single thing in here and crushed or burned it. The room still felt bad.”

Jack turns and looks at Ianto. “I then disinfected all the surfaces and painted them all until it felt sterile and new. When I was done, I knew that I had to have Tosh expand the CCTV in here, it just wouldn't be right to keep a known blindspot in the base, but I offered to install the camera myself. I just couldn't bear to have her come in here. It felt so personal by that time. As you might have guessed, I didn't bother using a proper ladder, and instead just used a chair from a nearby room that I found first.” Jack looks up at the camera. “Once I finished, I sat in the chair and looked around. I realized that I wouldn't be on the camera in the chair, and I just sat for a while and thought about you.”

“Me?”

“Yeah, and what happened to you in this room. By then, it looked different, not like the scene of disaster. And I just thought about what you went through in this room. All the nights you must have spent here with her, holding the hand of the woman you loved. Doing everything and anything to save her life. What you must have been feeling as you watched her sleep. And how your life disintegrated, and how I made it worse, not better.”

Ianto looks at the floor, unable to meet Jack's eyes. He can't speak for fear of his voice cracking.

“Ianto,” Jack says, “it was then that I went to see you at your flat. That's what made me go to you and ask you about her and everything, and it's here that I decided that I desperately wanted you to stay. I knew that I couldn't retcon you or even sack you. I had to bring all that passion to me and keep it here within the walls of Torchwood.”

Jack pauses to try and get Ianto to look up.

“I'm sorry, Ianto. I probably should have let you go and let you have a normal life away from here. It was selfishness that made me keep you here for me.”

“I wouldn't have left anyway, Jack,” Ianto finally says. “You would've had to kill me.”

“I never would have done that,” Jack replies immediately. They both pause and shuffle their feet awkwardly. “Anyway,” Jack continues, “I sometimes still come in here to think, usually about you.”

“Oh, well I come in here to think, so that no one, who has a tendency to watch their employees on CCTV, will be able to see me upset. I don't like being emotional at work, and I have been a lot lately, so I try to hide it by being alone.” Ianto feels extremely exposed, but he's not sure if that's a bad thing.

Jack smiles a little at the dig about him watching his employees. “I'll let you keep the room. I can always go to my bedroom. I promise I won't pry.” 

Jack starts to leave, but Ianto calls out, “Jack, why were you coming in here now?”

“To think about you and how to get you to stop hating me.”

Ianto sighs, “I don't hate you. I might not like you very much right now, but it's not the same thing.”

Jack smiles again, “At least that's something. I'll see you later.” Jack leaves, closing the squeaky door behind him.

It's just about five in the evening when Jack finally gets a text from Owen, saying “I'm with Gwen and she's not going to be in for a few days. I'm helping her find an apartment.”

Jack texts back, “Okay. I'll call you if I need you for an emergency.”


	27. Chapter 27

Thankfully, the days were relatively quiet without any big emergency and they were able to handle it with just the three of them with occasional help from Owen. It was only 8 days before Owen found a flat for Gwen. It probably shouldn't have even taken that long since she makes plenty of money from Torchwood, but she was rather hesitant to decide on a place and was being inordinately picky, according to Owen. She didn't come in to work the entire time, and Owen would report back that she seemed to be contemplating leaving and accepting Retcon. This just made Ianto and Jack feel even worse. Jack insisted that even if she decided to leave, he would put her through the retirement program which allows for her to keep her memories and to get a pension. However, after the eight days, she sends in Owen to retrieve her things from the Hub and sends word that she'll be back to work the following day. Everyone helps Owen pack the boxes, that Ianto and Jack had already packed up, into the SUV for him to bring to her new place.

Ianto makes sure that Gwen's workspace is clean and ready for her and makes sure that Jack knows to keep his distance and not get close to him when she returns. The last thing he wants is to give Gwen cause to make his life hell. 

During the eight days of Gwen's absence, Ianto would find a fresh single red rose on his desk every morning. Jack never mentioned it, but when Ianto would pick it up and smell it, he would notice Jack looking at him and smiling. The first day, Ianto rummaged through the kitchen until he found a vase for it, and every day he would add the new one and take out any that had died. Ianto never said anything about t to Jack and kept him at arm's length, however, Jack wasn't pushing or trying anything the whole time. If it wasn't for the roses, Ianto might even suspect that Jack had lost interest.

The morning of Gwen's return, Ianto arrives early to the hub just like he used to. It's only seven in the morning, but he wants some extra time to spend talking with Jack. He'd grown most fond of his talks with Jack, and can't believe how much he's learned about him during their friendship phase. Jack even taught him a few words in his native language along with several dirty words in Galactic Standard that he swears will come in handy one day. This morning, however, he wants to be sure that Jack understands that he should keep his distance and not show any intimacy between them. He starts by making some coffee, all the better to get Jack in a good mood. Even though he was early, the rose is already waiting for him, and he puts it in the vase, taking the time to prune off some dead petals from an older one.

Jack hears the coffee maker going and knows that Ianto must be in. He hasn't gotten dressed yet, but comes out in just his trousers and vest without any shoes on. He pads over quietly and resists the temptation to surprise Ianto with hands around him. Leaning on the counter, he puts himself in view of Ianto.

“Good morning, sir. I hope you plan on finishing getting dressed this morning,” Ianto says, pouring a cup for Jack which he graciously accepts.

“Of course, but I just had to come and say hello. Especially since I won't be allowed to during the day.”

Ianto looks up and sees Jack pouting. “It's just while at work, and it's only the least we can do. I'm just so ashamed of what I did to her; I don't know how I'm going to face her today.”

“She's not here yet,” hints Jack.

Ianto gives a small smile. “You're right. Good morning, Jack.”

Jack smiles at him. “It is now.”

“Thank you for being so understanding, Jack. I just don't feel right about how this has all happened, and I'm not ready for it. All I can think about is how I've fallen so low to be such a bad person.”

Jack puts down his mug hastily. “Ianto, we've talked about this. You're not a bad person. We may have done some bad things, but it hasn't changed who you are, otherwise you wouldn't feel bad about it. And I feel bad, too. It's not a hardship for me to be understanding when I feel the same way.”

“Really?”

“Really. I betrayed Gwen and said horrible things to her and haven't made it up to her at all. I've just left her alone. I feel terrible, while at the same time I feel happy for being free to pursue you, and then I feel more terrible for feeling happy. It's not a good place inside my head right now.”

“Speaking of pursuing,” Ianto starts, “what's up with the roses?”

Jack grins and says, “I pick it up on my commute in to work.”

“Jack,” Ianto says as if to a child, “you don't have a commute. You live here.”

Still grinning, Jack says, “I just think about you in the mornings, so I go out to get you a rose, hoping that it will make you smile, that's all.”

“It must be pretty early in the morning, I hope you dress first,” Ianto says, gesturing to Jack's partially dressed state.

“I don't sleep much lately, so I usually go back to bed for a while afterwards.”

Ianto sighs and changes the subject. “Jack, today's going to be really hard on all of us. I've been having such a terrible time sleeping this week, too, and I'm just exhausted.”

“Me, too. I haven't been sleeping either. And I know that I would sleep better with you, but that I haven't earned that right.” Jack looks down at the floor. “Would you think less of me if I told you that sometimes I pretend that you're in the bed with me to make myself feel better?”

Ianto looks away from Jack in case he can see that he does the same thing. “No, that's sweet.” Ianto takes a long sip of coffee. “Well, I guess we should start the day,” he says to end the awkward situation.

“Right. Work to do.” Jack moves off to his office, taking his coffee with him.

By the time Owen arrives, Tosh, Ianto, and Jack are all around Tosh's workstation looking through some readings she's working on. Gwen hasn't arrived yet and Ianto is on pins and needles. As the siren blares and Owen hurries through, he rushes up to the others. “Okay, she's right behind me, but listen, she just wants to be treated like normal. Just pretend like nothing has happened and she'll pretend, too. It's for the best. Trust me.” He hurries back away so as not to be seen conspiring as Gwen enters through the door.

She walks casually to her desk and looks up at the others who are already looking expectantly at her. “Good morning everyone. I could murder a cup of coffee is it's ready.”

“Sure,” says Ianto, hurrying over to the kitchen area. “It'll be up in just a minute.”

“So,” Gwen says as she walks over to Tosh's workstation. “Anything interesting happening?”

“Just some possible patterns in the rift events of the past three months. They seem to be more predictable than usual, possibly not natural events,” answers Tosh.

Gwen frowns that it's not something she's able to get involved in. “Oh, that's interesting. Let me know if there's anything I can do. Otherwise, I think I'll give my police contacts a call and check up if there's anything out of the ordinary happening there, unless any of you have anything for me.” She looks around at everyone, but no one does have anything for her, so she turns back to her desk and starts leafing through her notebook for phone numbers. Ianto walks up with her coffee and places it on her desk. “Thank you, dear,” she says with a saccharine smile. 

“You're welcome,” mutters Ianto and he quickly walks away. As he passes Jack and Tosh, he says, “I'll be down in the archives for the next couple hours if you need me,” and continues straight past them and down the hallway. Once out of sight, he sighs and relaxes his shoulders. He knows he's a coward for bailing, but he really doesn't think it'd be any better for Gwen for him to be around. At least this way, she doesn't have to look at him.

The day is painful for all, but they all do as Owen said and just try to fake being normal all day. Jack and Ianto don't even come close to touching each other, and Jack doesn't even go to the archives or the tourist center while Ianto is in them. It's finally six in the evening and Gwen starts to leave, dying to get out of the uncomfortable situation. Owen leaves with her, walking her out. Tosh starts to get ready to leave as well and Ianto walks up to her.

“I think that went well. What do you think?”

“As well as can be expected, I guess,” she says. “No one yelled or cried, so I guess it's all right.”

“It was super awkward though, wasn't it,” says Ianto.

“Yeah, but it'll get better. Just keep pretending that everything's all right and eventually it will be. She's trying just as hard as you are.”

“I know. Thanks Tosh. I'll see you tomorrow.”

“'Night.” Tosh leaves out the cog door and Ianto is just left with Jack.

He heads up to Jack's office where he sees Jack at his desk, appearing to diligently go through paperwork. Looking up from his desk, Jack sees Ianto enter and tries to look behind him into the hub. “Are they all gone?”

“Yup. It's just me now.”

“Thank God.” Jack's shoulders fall and relax. “That was exhausting.”

“Yeah, but it'll get better. Tosh says so anyway.”

“Yeah, I guess so. Are you going now?”

“Yeah, unless you need me for something.”

“No,” Jack says reluctantly. “Have a nice evening.” He's sad to be left alone when Ianto is so close, but he knows it's for the best. He knows what he has to do.

Over the next three weeks, things at work start to get back to normal for all. Gwen stops being artificially cheerful and just acts like a normal part of the team, even if she does keep giving strange glances at Ianto. Ianto and Jack also start to feel like they don't have to be so careful and can be in the same room together without it meaning anything. Tosh and Owen are just both glad that things at the office feel less tense than they have for months.

Ianto continues to find a rose on his desk each morning, still lying flat in the middle of the desk so that he has to pick it up and put it in the vase himself. As he does so, he usually gives a nice big sniff, and he thinks that's the point as that's usually when he sees Jack looking at him. Other than that, Jack makes no moves, and Ianto is starting to feel comfortable again, flattered by the roses even.

On a Thursday evening, Ianto brings in a final cup of coffee to Jack before leaving as usual. He does this whenever everyone else has left. Tosh was the last one to leave, as is often the case, and Ianto smiles as he brings in the striped mug.

Jack gives a big smile when he sees the liquid treat. “Ianto, thank you. Does this mean you're off for the night?”

“Yes, sir. Unless there's anything you need,” Ianto gives his usual reply.

“Yes, actually, there is.”

Jack doesn't usually say yes, so Ianto is a little surprised. “What can I do for you?”

Jack gives a quick look up and down at Ianto at this open ended question before making eye contact again. Jack then abruptly stands. “I was wondering if you would give me the pleasure of your company tomorrow night for dinner?”

“Oh,” is all Ianto can say. It's a very formal date invitation and he knows that Jack has probably never asked anyone so formally before without innuendo or lewd looks. He gets a hold of himself. “Tomorrow? Yes, I believe I'm available. What did you have in mind?”

Jack can't help but smile. “French. You like French food, right?”

“Yes, I like French food.”

“Around seven? I'll pick you up at your place?”

Ianto smiles. Very formal indeed. “That sounds great.”

“Great, great.” Jack says awkwardly.

“Right, well, I best be off then,” Ianto says.

“Right. Okay. I'll see you tomorrow morning then.”

“Goodnight, Jack,” Ianto says, dropping the 'sir'.

“Goodnight, Ianto.”


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is still taking so long. I've been too exhausted all week to work on it.

The next day, Ianto mostly tries to avoid being around Jack because it's awkward anticipating the date that night. He works in the archives mostly, and the others go out on a retrieval, leaving him to work the coms.

Ianto leave at six along with everyone else, but he looks back at Jack and gives a wink, since he'll be seeing him in about an hour.

Once home, Ianto showers and shaves and puts on a fresh suit, one that he knows Jack likes. Promptly at seven, the doorbell rings. Ianto finds Jack standing at his door with a bunch of roses behind his back. He thrusts them out at Ianto and grins. “The florist really likes me now.”

Ianto chuckles and invites Jack in while he rustles up a vase to put them in. It's ridiculously traditional, but Ianto finds the courtship endearing, especially from someone like Jack.

The restaurant is amazing, and just the type of place people bring dates to impress them. Their conversation is a little awkward as they both try to avoid discussing anything important and pretend like they don't have history, but it does keep things pleasant. However, as they leave the restaurant, Ianto doesn't feel the connection that he had hoped to. The conversation was too bland and there was no personality in any part of the date. He feels bad because he knows this is only because Jack is trying to avoid talking about things that will upset him.

Ianto is quiet as Jack drives him back to his flat. Jack jumps out of the car and walks up to the door with Ianto. Ianto stops and turns to Jack as he reaches the door. “Jack, I had a perfectly nice time tonight, and I really appreciate all the effort.”

“It's no effort, Ianto,” Jack says. “Really, I just want to spend time with you.” Jack starts to turn to leave, but Ianto stops him with a hand on his arm.

“Wait, Jack.” Ianto starts to say something more, but then stops. Maybe what he needs is to ignite that old passion. He leans in and gives Jack a kiss, a simple and appropriate kiss. It doesn't turn into anything more, but as Ianto pulls away, he sees that Jack doesn't care about that. Jack has a purely delightful expression, and Ianto can't help but laugh.

“What? What's so funny?” asks Jack.

“You just looked so blissful after a little kiss. It was kind of cute,” Ianto says.

“Well, it was blissful.” Jack says. “Will you come out with me again?”

Ianto doesn't think long. “Yes, but, can I ask for something next time?”

“Sure, anything,” Jack says immediately.

“Can we not avoid real conversation? I mean, I didn't go out with you before because of your manners. Even though I appreciate all this, I miss the closeness that we've gotten through our friendship and the passion that we used to have. All this tiptoeing around isn't really helping me make a decision about you.”

Jack grimaces. “Sorry, I was hoping that it wouldn't be so obvious that I was avoiding things.”

“I was, too. I guess I just didn't want to mess things up, but that messed things up. Next date, let's just be ourselves, okay?”

“Deal. How about tomorrow night?”

“Okay.”

“Can I pick you up again? I kind of like this courting thing.”

Ianto gives a sardonic smile. “Sure, whatever, but I don't think I'll be coming into work tomorrow unless there's an emergency, since it's Saturday. Just pick me up here.”

“I'll get you at 6:30.”

“Good night, Jack.”

Jack leans in for another quick kiss, and leaning back, quickly licks his lips. “Goodnight, Ianto.”

The next day, Ianto spends it relaxing, running errands, cleaning his flat, and whatever else he can think of to keep his mind off the night's date. However, soon enough, and it's time to get ready. Ianto decides to wear something a bit more casual in order to help him feel more himself. He foregoes a jacket and tie this evening, and is glad he did so when Jack shows up in his usual casual attire.

“What do you have planned for this evening?” Ianto asks while putting the fresh flowers that Jack brought in a vase. They're a mix of spring flowers this time instead of roses.

“A movie and then dinner at a pub. I thought that might be more us than a fancy restaurant.”

“Good thinking,” Ianto agrees.

The movie is a fun action movie, something they both like, and they go to a pub that they used to frequent and order meals that they've gotten many times. Ianto is definitely more relaxed this time around. Jack only held his hand during the movie and didn't try anything else, and they sit across from each other at the pub, looking more like friends than a date. The conversation comes much easier now, and Ianto complains about his sister and Jack tells a couple stories from his early days on earth in the nineteenth century.

Jack walks Ianto to his door, holding his hand and swinging it back and forth. At the door, they are both reluctant to let go. Ianto leans in and gives Jack a nice long kiss, bringing his hand up behind Jack's head to run his fingers through his hair. Jack pulls back and steps a little away from Ianto's body that is pressed against him. Ianto can see Jack warring with himself. “Good night, Ianto,” he says as he starts to release Ianto's hand.

“Wait,” Ianto pulls Jack's hand back. “Do you want to come up and have a drink?”

Jack looks at the door and reluctantly looks away. “No, it's only our second date. I wouldn't want to be presumptuous.”

“You're really committed to doing this properly, aren't you?”

“Yes, I'm not cutting any corners.”

Ianto looks disappointed, but releases Jack's hand. “Alright. When do we get a third date, then?”

“Is tomorrow too soon?” Jack asks.

“It sounds just perfect,” Ianto replies.

Sunday starts the same as Saturday for Ianto, but around three in the afternoon, Ianto gets a text alert to come in for a weevil roundup. Apparently there are several of them running around in a group. Ianto gears up and runs out just in time for the SUV to pull up. Ianto jumps in, noticing that Owen is already in the front passenger seat and Jack is driving as usual. They speed off and quickly pick up Gwen, and they head off to the weevils as Tosh is back at the base to run coms.

Tosh directs them to stop in a warehouse district that is empty on a Sunday. They all jump out of the SUV while listening to her relay where the two main groups are. Before Jack can say anything, Owen yells, “Ianto, with me,” and heads off to the left.

Ianto immediately jogs after him, but spares a glance at Jack who looks just as surprised at Owen taking charge. Jack seems to accept it and motions to Gwen to follow him to the right, following Tosh's directions.

As Ianto and Owen get behind a warehouse, Owen stops and checks around a corner, allowing Ianto to catch up. “Owen,” Ianto hisses, “what was with that? Why did you ask for me with you?”

“Why not?” Owen says, not bothering with being quiet. “You're a good shot.”

“Yeah, but usually Jack gives the assignments.”

Owen opens his mouth to say something, but then stops and closes it again, looking determinedly not at Ianto.

“Well?” Ianto prompts.

“I'm just sick of her, okay? You try spending that much time with little whiny princess and see how much you like it!?”

Ianto tries and fails to suppress a smile. “So it's not my company that you wanted so much?”

“No, and frankly, I didn't want to see what would happen if you and Gwen were partnered together either. I imagine one of you would end up dead and it would be blamed on the weevils.”

“Oh come on, you know I could do better than blame it on the weevils.”

Owen looks at Ianto to see if he's joking and then laughs.

“Guys!” Tosh yells at them through their earpieces. “Are you even listening?! They're getting away!”

As Jack watches Ianto jog after Owen, he takes the hint and gestures for Gwen to follow him, and he sprints away toward the weevils. He can hear her following closely behind him, keeping up, but breathing hard. He's uncomfortable being alone with her and has avoided it until now, stupid Owen. Owen knows exactly what he's doing, putting them together.

At a word from Tosh, Jack stops short and Gwen nearly runs into the back of him. “I don't understand it,” Tosh is saying. “The signal has just disappeared.”

Jack waits for Tosh to direct them somewhere, and he feels Gwen's hand on his shoulder. He looks pointedly at it, and she moves it quickly away. “Sorry,” she mumbles. “It was just habit. It's not like I have somebody to turn to immediately.”

Jack doesn't respond, but leans against the warehouse wall as Tosh is unable to find where the weevils went and they're in a holding pattern. Gwen leans against the wall as well and doesn't let Jack's silence dissuade her. “It's just that you move right on to Ianto and I can't go back. I ruined everything with Rhys. Do you know that he's got a girlfriend living in the flat we used to have together? My mother says that he's even engaged to her, but who knows if that will go through.”

Gwen seems to be rambling at this point and Jack is extremely uncomfortable. “I mean, that seems a little fast to me, to just put aside what we had all those years for someone he just met.”

Jack wonders if she's purposely trying to goad him into yelling at her. “And I have no one to help me through this transition.”

Jack finally is tempted to speak, “Owen's helping you, isn't that enough?”

“What, do you mean that you think Owen and I are together, no, I'd never go for that.”

“You did before.” Jack is really hoping for a weevil, but Tosh seems to be talking to Owen and Ianto.

“That was just blowing off steam. I mean in a relationship, I would never go for him. Rhys doesn't understand what he's giving up.”

“No, you don't understand what you gave up when you dumped him! You keep acting like you're the victim! You broke his heart and now he's found someone new. Be happy for him! And stop rewriting history to suit your own version, or I'll shove Retcon down your throat and rewrite it for real!” Jack is blazing mad and towering over her. Gwen looks really scared like she's afraid that he'll really do it, destroy her memory.

“Sorry,” she whimpers, but it's not clear to Jack whether she means it or is just scared.

“Whatever, just stop talking about this stuff. We're over, and I don't want to discuss it.”

“Okay, message received.”

“Jack,” Tosh finally addresses him. He enthusiastically answers, “Yes!”

“Your group must have gone down into the sewers. Owen and Ianto have disabled their three and need your help.”

“On it,” he replies and jogs off around the warehouse with Gwen behind him.

Once they all get the weevils back to the base and in the cells, it's already evening, and they're all exhausted. Jack starts to drop them all off at their homes, leaving Ianto purposefully for last. As Jack pulls up in front of his block of flats, he stops Ianto before he can get out of the car. “Ianto, wait. About tonight.”

“Oh,” says Ianto, “are we still going to go out. It's just that I'm kind of beat.”

“Me, too. That's what I was going to say. Can we postpone until a better night, not that I don't want to go out, but you could probably use some sleep instead.”

“Yeah, thanks. And I'll see you tomorrow at work anyway. It's okay. We'll go when we have the chance.” Ianto squeezes Jack's hand and Jack's worried expression starts to soften. “Don't worry. We will have that third date,” he reassures Jack.

“I'll hold you to it.” Jack lets Ianto get out of the car this time and go home.

When Jack gets himself back to the hub, all he can think about is Ianto and how much he wishes he were with him right then. Would he be holding him close? Or just having a friendly drink? He can't wait until they have a chance for him to find out.


	29. Chapter 29

On Monday, Ianto arrives at seven in the morning and finds another rose on his desk. He smiles, since he had thought that the roses might stop now that he's started dating Jack. He's pleased to see that Jack isn't becoming complacent in his attempts to woo him. He sniffs it and arranges it in the vase with the others. He inspects them and finds one that's completely dead and another that's wilting badly. Taking them both out, he brings them to the kitchenette, where he throws them in the bin before starting coffee for two.

Once the coffee is ready, he pours two cups and brings them to Jack's office, where Jack is waiting, having smelled the coffee brewing. He smiles at Ianto when he enters. “Good morning, sir,” Ianto says politely, but with a friendly grin, as he walks around the desk to lean on it directly next to Jack's chair. As he hands the striped mug over to Jack, he lingers a little as their fingers touch.

“Good morning, Ianto. How was your evening?”

Ianto leans comfortably against the desk. “I got what sleep I could. It was a late night.”

“Looks to be another busy day, too. There were two alerts in the night that I took care of, and there's no sign that it's going to let up.”

Ianto grimaces. “No rest for the wicked. Well, I guess we need to take advantage of every slow moment we have then.” Ianto looks out the office door briefly while putting his coffee mug down and then leans forward and kisses Jack. “It isn't quite work time yet, so this is still technically personal time.”

“Really?” Jack says excitedly. “Then we should take your advice and use every moment we can.” Jack lightly grasps Ianto's tie and pulls him down for another kiss, a little longer this time. Ianto pulls back and grabs his mug, taking another sip. “Did I ever tell you about how I joined the Time Agency?” Jack asks, changing the subject.

“No, it's never come up,” Ianto replies, knowing that the story is a more intimate admission than the kiss.

The day is just as busy as Jack said it would be, and everyone is run ragged by the constant small alerts. Tosh and Ianto take turns running things from the base, giving each of them a little time to keep up on their duties around the base while the others are in transit. Once 8:00 pm rolls around, everyone is ready to fall asleep on their feet, including Ianto. He really wishes that he had the energy to spend time with Jack, but he just doesn't.

However, he doesn't have to make any excuses as Jack practically orders him home along with the others. While Ianto's disappointed, he knows it's for the best as he can't possibly be good company in his current tired state, and he goes home and falls asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow.

On Tuesday morning, Ianto arrives just on time at seven. Jack is at his desk, right where Ianto left him. He still finds a rose and continues his morning as usual. When he brings Jack his cup of coffee, Jack stands up to greet him and after only one sip, puts it down and grabs Ianto for a morning kiss, and then more. He rakes his fingers through Ianto's hair as he opens his mouth and his tongue demands entrance, and Ianto gives it. They hold onto each other and press against each other, but neither tries to bring it any further, content with kisses.

After a while, Ianto pulls back. “The coffee, sir, it's getting cold.”

“So it is,” Jack replies, and goes back to kissing him. 

Ianto breaks it by laughing. “I can't believe you would let my coffee go to waste.”

Jack gives in and picks the mug up and drinks it, sitting back down in his chair. “Alright, I wouldn't dream of it.”

The day is just as busy as the previous day, and in the afternoon, Ianto goes up to Tosh as the others come back to the hub. They dig into the pizza that Ianto has waiting for them. “Tosh, how long is this going to last? Is a break anywhere on the horizon?” He knows that he sounds a little desperate, but he is.

“The predictor suggests that it will break on Friday,” Tosh replies tiredly.

“That long? We're going to break before then.”

Tosh nods in agreement and then puts her head down and closes her eyes.

At ten that evening, Ianto stumbles into the hub along with the others. At least with all this activity, Ianto hasn't had a chance to worry about Gwen, and she hasn't seemed to have the energy to be a bitch, or she's just pretending to be normal. Owen collapses on the sofa and immediately falls asleep. Ianto calls for a cab to take everyone else home so they don't have to drive while so sleepy. While they wait for the cab, Jack comes up to Ianto who's making another round of coffee to last everyone until they get home.

“You can just fall asleep here, just to sleep, honest,” Jack says from behind Ianto.

Ianto turns, “I know you mean that, but I think it's best I go home.”

“I just don't want you to have to waste time going to your flat when you can just sleep here in my bed. I'll just be up in my office.”

“You should sleep, too, Jack.”

“I'm all right. I don't need to sleep much, you know that.”

“But you need to sleep some.” Ianto's phone alerts him to the cab pulling up. “We're going to go, but please try to get some sleep.”

“I'll try. I'll see you tomorrow.”

On Wednesday morning, Ianto arrives to find Jack not at his desk, but there is still a rose on his. He makes the coffee and goes into Jack's office and finds the hatch door open in the floor. He edges over and peers down, not feeling like he's allowed to go down there anymore. He listens closely and hears the shower running. Realizing that Jack must be in the shower, Ianto sits in Jack's chair and swivels it around to put his feet up on the desk and lean back. Nice and relaxed, Ianto closes his eyes and drifts off a bit.

Jack comes up from his shower to find Ianto sleeping adorably in his chair. Loving this view, Jack takes a moment before being called forward by the coffee waiting for him on the desk. As he picks it up and takes a sip, Ianto rouses himself and smiles cheekily at him. “Good morning, Jack.”

Jack smiles back. “Good morning, sir. What can I do for you?” Jack plays the part with Ianto in the boss's chair.

Ianto likes this new game. “I think as my secretary, you could help me out with something over here.”

Jack moves around the desk next to Ianto in the chair, who swings one of his legs down to the ground. Jack moves forward between them and leans his hands down on the chair arms. “What can I do for you, sir?” Jack asks quietly.

Ianto is excited by the possibilities, but decides that he doesn't want to move too fast and fall into old habits with Jack. As Ianto's smile falls from his face, Jack seems to understand what Ianto's thinking because he backs up a step, and instead gently pulls Ianto up into a standing position close to him. “How about just a kiss?” Ianto smiles and Jack pulls him close and they proceed to make out like teenagers. Ianto presses against Jack and can feel his hardness against his own. As much as he enjoys the feeling and is pleased at his effect on Jack, he knows that he's not ready to give satisfaction. Thankfully, Jack doesn't seem to mind, as he doesn't make any effort to touch Ianto's cock or undo his trousers, just to hold him and grasp him close. Eventually, Ianto sits back down in the chair and pulls Jack down onto his lap to continue. It seems like no time at all has passed when Ianto hears the alarm on the cog door sound. He jumps up, accidentally dumping Jack on the ground in the process.

“Sorry!” he exclaims as he gives Jack a hand in getting off the floor. “We shouldn't be doing this on work time!”

Jack looks at the clock on his desk and sees that it's only ten to eight. “It's alright, Ianto. It's just Tosh a little early today.” Ianto looks out and sees that it is Tosh coming up the steps to the desks. “See, we didn't go into work time, we just lost a little track of time. It's okay, although we didn't get much talking in this morning. Maybe tomorrow.”

Ianto blushes. “Yeah. Sorry, I got carried away. I guess I just don't want it to be like, well, like when you were with her.”

Jack sighs. “I know. And I won't do that to you. I know you want to keep a professional appearance at work, and we will. As soon as work time comes along, or someone shows up early, I'll stop. I promise.”

“Thanks. I know it's silly.”

“No, it's not,” Jack interrupts. “It's the opposite of silly. And it's time for us to go to work.”

“Yes, sir.” Ianto smiles and walks out of the office.

Tosh looks up at him and smiles as he comes out. “Did I interrupt something?” she teases.

“No!” Ianto exclaims, although he blushes and runs his hands over his hair to smooth it down.

“I did! I did interrupt something!” Tosh exclaims and squees. She claps her hands together in excitement.

Ianto frowns. “I don't know why you're so excited.”

“I guess I've just been secretly rooting for you two. So? Are you two back together?”

“Not really. We've just been going out on dates, only we haven't been able to lately with the stupid rift acting up,” Ianto grumbles.

“So, is that where the roses have been coming from?” Tosh nods towards Ianto's desk.

Ianto doesn't really want to answer. “Yes,” he mumbles.

“It's so sweet,” Tosh nearly squeals. “He's really bringing you roses?!”

“It's a single rose each day.”

“Oh, that is so cute!”

“Okay,” Ianto says shortly, completely embarrassed at Tosh's enthusiasm, “we're done now, and I'm going to start work.” Tosh just claps her hands together as Ianto blushes all the way to the coffee maker to make Tosh a drink.

The day is still busy, but Ianto notices Tosh giving him excited smiles throughout. He's not particularly annoyed, but he isn't ready for anyone to know about him even thinking about taking Jack back after everything he put him through. Thankfully, Jack is true to his word about being professional at work and doesn't treat him any differently then the others, although Ianto does think he notices a hint of Jack being annoyed with Gwen, or perhaps that's wishful thinking.

They get caught up on capturing a hoix in a crowded area and have to take the time to interview and retcon all the witnesses, keeping Ianto busy until eleven at night. Jack had sent Gwen home directly from the scene, followed by Owen after he finished assessing and treating any injuries. Jack calls Tosh at the hub and tells her to go home, leaving him with Ianto.

“Let me drive you home,” Jack says to Ianto.

“Thanks,” Ianto says and he slides into the passenger seat of the SUV. They're quiet on the way, and when Jack pulls up in front of Ianto's flat, he starts to get out.

“Ianto,” Jack stops him, “I'm sorry we've been so busy.”

“Me, too,” says Ianto. “But we'll get that date, right?”

“If I have anything to say about it.”

“How about Friday night? Tosh says it should be quiet by then. We might even have had some rest.”

“Good,” Jack smiles. “A nice traditional date night. Count on it.”

“Okay then,” Ianto says, and then leans over and gives Jack a kiss goodnight.

In the morning, Ianto arrives and sees the light on in Jack's office as usual. He's disappointed to find that there isn't a rose on his desk. Maybe Jack doesn't feel like he needs to anymore. He makes the coffee and brings it into Jack's office, just to find Jack asleep in the office chair. When Ianto puts the cup on the desk quietly, Jack startles awake.

“Sorry,” Ianto says.

“I smell coffee,” Jack says before being aware of what's happening. He looks down and sees the mug along with Ianto standing in front of the desk. “Ianto? What are you doing here?”

“I'm always here at this time, Jack,” Ianto says with a little confusion.

“What?” Jack starts and then looks at the clock. “Damn it, last thing I remember it was around five in the morning.”

“Jack, have you been sleeping at all this week?” Ianto asks suspiciously.

“Some,” he replies, unconvincingly.

“Jack,” Ianto walks around the desk to Jack, “you can't go on without any sleep. Even you need to have some, and you've clearly been handling all the overnight alerts on your own.”

“I'm fine, really,” Jack says, trying to get out of his chair, but then he stumbles back and falls into it.

“Jack, how about you skip the coffee for now and have a little more sleep before the others come in. I'll make you a fresh cup later.”

Ianto knows how tired Jack must be that he immediately acquiesces. “Okay, maybe you're right,” he says as he settles back into the chair and closes his eyes. “Only,” Jack opens his eyes again, “will you come here?” He open his arms wide and Ianto moves into his embrace, allowing himself to be pulled down into Jack's lap and cuddled while Jack closes his eyes and falls asleep again. Ianto lays his head down on Jack's shoulder and listens to Jack sleep, finding satisfaction in it.


	30. Chapter 30

Around 4 pm, the rift activity stops and Tosh declares an early end to the madness. Jack decides to send everyone home for some much needed rest before the next day. Tosh and Owen practically sprint out the door immediately, but Gwen looks longingly at Jack like she doesn't want to go home. She hadn't been doing anything annoying all week, so Ianto figures that it must be because she just doesn't have anything to go home to. The busy week has been giving her life meaning outside of her new single status and made her feel still important and relevant, but now she has to go home early, and no one is asking her to go hang out at the pub or a club, so she has to be by herself. She finally makes herself walk out the door.

Ianto goes up to Jack's office. “You should go, too, get some sleep,” Jack says before Ianto can.

“I was going to say something very similar,” Ianto replies. “Don't forget to sleep tonight, after all, I expect you to be at full strength for our date tomorrow.”

Jack laughs. “I'm always at full strength.”

“Yeah, well, I thought maybe that I should plan it this time and take you out. You don't need to be doing all the work.”

“While I like the idea of you doing the work,” Jack winks, “I've already made reservations. Is that okay? I can cancel it if you want to do something.”

“No, that's alright. I'll do the next date. What are your reservations for?”

Jack moves up to Ianto and places his hands on his hips. “Can it be a surprise?”

“Okay,” Ianto says hesitatingly. “Will you tell me how I should be dressed?”

“One of your nicer suits would be perfect.” Jack runs his fingers down Ianto's tie.

“Okay, I'll keep that in mind. I guess for now, I should go home and catch up on sleep.” Ianto reluctantly moves out of Jack's grasp before turning back around and giving Jack a quick kiss. “I'll see you tomorrow.”

“Goodnight, Ianto.”

That night, Ianto sleeps long and deeply, but he thinks that it's only because he is so exhausted, as he is excited for the next night's date.

Ianto feels more refreshed the next morning than he has all week and excitedly gets ready for work. When he arrives in and checks his desk, he finds two roses instead of just one. He puts them in the vase, pruning away others, and gets the usual two cups of coffee. He brings them up to Jack at his desk.

“Good morning, I hope you slept this time,” Ianto says as he hands over the coffee.

Jack grasps his hand as well as the coffee and pulls him in closer to his chair. “Yes, but I still don't sleep much.” He holds on to Ianto's hand even though Ianto leans against the desk.

“So, two flowers this morning? Are you softening me up?”

“Well, I missed yesterday by oversleeping, and I couldn't have that. I had to catch up.”

Ianto smiles. “You don't have to worry about it. I mean, you can't keep it up forever, so you should probably figure out how to stop anyway.”

“What do you mean, I can't do it forever? I most certainly can.”

“Great, now I think I've challenged you accidentally.”

“Yup, just watch me. And forever really means forever with me.”

The day is slow and allows Ianto to catch up on a lot of work that had been piling up. He tackles all the archiving first since there is so many new items to put into the system. It takes all morning to get through the backlog, so he doesn't see anyone else between morning coffee and lunch. He orders a large meal from the Chinese restaurant and dishes it all up for everyone in the conference room. By the looks of everyone, they've been doing through backlogs as well. Tosh talks about all the work she's been catching up on with research and upgrades, and Owen talks about the autopsies he's been catching up on all morning. Ianto is happy that there won't be a pile of alien bodies stacked in the freezer anymore. Gwen is fairly quiet, but since Ianto can't think of any continuing projects that she does in the office, he realizes that she probably just doesn't have any work to talk about. It's one more reason that she probably puts a lot of importance on her role in the field. Ianto decides to delicately remind her about her doing the after-action reports.

Ianto spends the afternoon working on archiving reports at his workstation in the tourist office since he hasn't been able to open the office all week. He notices that Jack hasn't come in all day to harass or distract him, and he wonders if that means that Jack's getting his own work done.

At five, everyone starts to leave, looking better than they have all week, and the hub is looking tidier and cleaner since everyone has had some time to neaten their spaces. Owen even got in a good disinfecting in the autopsy bay after he finished his backlog.

Ianto makes sure to leave last, and Jack tells him to be ready to be picked up at six thirty. “With bells on, sir,” he says.

“I can't wait to see where the bells are,” Jack banters back, and Ianto blushes.

Jack rings the bell promptly at six thirty, and arrives with another bouquet of flowers. Ianto replaces one of the older bouquets with the new one and they leave. Jack won't tell him where they are going, but he drives out of town and they seem to be driving along the coast for about half an hour. Finally, they arrive at a restaurant out in the country at the top of a cliff, looking over the water. It's a little before sunset when they arrive and are led to a table with a gorgeous view.

“This is wonderful, Jack. How did you find this place?”

“The internet,” he admits. “It has great reviews.” Jack orders a bottle of champagne from the hostess.

Ianto starts out nervous. He knows that he needs to talk to Jack about his concerns, and he drinks two glasses of champagne in order to get the courage to bring it up. “Jack,” he begins over the main course, “can I ask you some personal questions?”

“Of course,” Jack looks almost eager for personal questions.

“I guess I just wonder about you and Gwen.”

“Okay,” Jack says, more cautious now.

“I wonder why you were with her. Was it convenience or something more? And why you came to the decision of wanting to be with me only when you were with her and not when we were together.”

Jack licks his lips and hesitates. “I must admit, I don't really want to talk about that, not because you don't deserve to know those things, but I'm afraid I'll destroy any good feelings you might have for me.”

“It's that bad, is it?”

Jack sighs. “Well, to start off. I was with her for a few reasons. One was convenience. I knew that she desired me and that I could have her whenever I wanted, and she was there. But it's not like that was all of it. I decided to be with her because I really was attracted to her. You don't want to hear this.”

“But I need to. I need to know why you enter into these dating arrangements, and why I should believe that this time will be different.”

“Okay.” Jack puts his fork down and takes a long sip of his drink. “I was attracted to her physically as well as emotionally, but it turns out that I didn't really know her like I thought. She just wasn't the person that I thought she was.”

“So, you aren't attracted to her anymore?”

“No, I mean she looks the same physically, but I didn't understand her personality. I was attracted to the way she would take charge in an investigation and her dogged determination to solve a crime. I saw passion and heart in her, and I thought that I could have the heart while being the exception of her desire to control. When she controls an investigation, I guess I just thought that she would be like you, the way you take care of everything around me without controlling me, but that was dumb to think that I would be the one thing that she doesn't want to control.”

“It's not dumb,” Ianto says charitably.

“Yeah, it is,” Jack admits.

“But,” Ianto looks around quickly and lowers his voice, “I thought that you liked it when I controlled things for you.”

“I know that I introduced you to the whole dom thing, and I guess I didn't really explain that, even though it looks like the dom has all the power, it's the sub that really does. I never had to explain it to you, you were such a natural. The dom has to listen and read the sub and do what they want and what takes care of them. You were always so attuned to me and how to make me feel good. Even if I had ever been able to talk Gwen into dominating me, she wouldn't have been able to do it right. She couldn't listen to what someone was saying they needed in plain language, much less as a submissive. Controlling and taking care of someone are two completely different things, and I figured out which I want. Even at work, you take care of everything and everyone, and it may seem like control, but you're doing what needs to be done and what everyone else wants. You're responding, and that's what's wonderful. Gwen orders and tries to tell people what to do and how to do it, that's annoying.”

Ianto realizes that he's been holding his empty fork halfway to the plate for a while now. He puts it down and fusses with the napkin in his lap. “So, you want me to take care of you?”

“I don't mean in all of life, but I like that you take care of me, even as a friend, making sure I eat and sleep and don't leave a mess.” Ianto's mouth turns up slightly at one corner at that. “Now you're laughing at me,” says Jack.

“The fact that you know that that means I'm laughing at you means that you know me better than I give you credit for,” says Ianto.

“I do watch you more than is healthy,” Jack says. “So, to finish answering your initial questions, I realized all this while I was with her and realized that you were everything that I thought I saw in her. I was wrong, and I took it all for granted when I had you. I'm sorry. And that's why this time will be different. My eyes are open, both about you and about me. I try to push away love so that I won't get hurt, but I have no control over who I love. I'm going to love you no matter whether you stay with me or decide to leave me, and it's going to hurt no matter what when you die.”

Ianto looks at his plate and takes a big bite in order to give himself time to think this over. This was a lot of information and he wanted time to think about it. “Thank you for answering me honestly and telling me all that. It was very informative.”

Jack looks disappointed that he isn't getting immediate acceptance, but Ianto also hasn't run out of the restaurant either, so there's still a chance.

“Why don't we get dessert,” Ianto says to change the subject and lighten the mood.

“Sounds delicious,” Jack says as he signals for a server to come over.


	31. Chapter 31

After dinner, Jack starts to drive them back, but then suddenly takes a turn down a dirt road that goes down to the water and a small beach. Stopping by the water, Jack and Ianto get out of the car. Ianto takes off his shoes and socks by the sand and rolls up his trousers to his knees, with Jack following suit, and they both run down the beach towards the water. Jack splashes into the water and grabs Ianto's hand, pulling him in as well. They stay in the shallow water and splash around, giggling and laughing like kids on the dark beach. Ianto doesn't even complain about the splashing getting his trouser legs wet.

Jack suddenly picks Ianto up and spins him around. Putting him down again, he kisses him, long and lingering. Ianto pulls Jack in close, and then decides that it's time to go. Ianto would rather go home to continue this feeling. Pulling Jack silently back to the car, Jack puts on a pouty face, but lets himself be led. Ianto tries to clean his feet off so that he can put his shoes back on, but then gives up when he sees Jack just pick up his boots and walk barefoot back to the car. Ianto follows him barefoot as well, stepping gingerly over the rocks that Jack doesn't seem to mind.

Jack drives back to the main road, and then grabs Ianto's hand and holds it for the rest of the drive back to town. Jack pulls up to Ianto's flat, and gets out to walk him up to the door. Ianto holds his shoes with the socks stuffed in and walks carefully barefoot up the walk. Jack doesn't seem to notice his own shoeless state. As they get to the door, Jack kisses Ianto and then says, “I hope you had a good time tonight, and that you'll still want to go out with me again, even after everything I told you.”

“Yes, Jack. I still want to go out with you, only...”

“Only, what?”

“I'm hoping that you don't want tonight to end so soon. Do you want to come in for a drink?”

Jack is afraid of Ianto thinking that he's really just pretending to court him in order to have sex with him again, so he hesitates.

“I'm sorry,” Ianto says in the pause, “I shouldn't just assume that you're always ready and willing, I just thought since it's the third date and you know what they say about the third date, and frankly I'm dying for it...” Ianto can't stop the fast paced rambling and he's blushing bright red.

Jack is surprised at Ianto apparently thinking that his hesitation is because he doesn't want to be with Ianto physically instead of being afraid of pushing him away, and he takes pity on him and interrupts. “What do they say about the third date?”

“Well, you know, that the third date is the date you get lucky.”

“Really? I'd never heard that.”

Ianto smirks, “I guess if you're used to getting lucky on the first date, it doesn't really apply.”

Jack relaxes and laughs. “No, I guess it really doesn't. So this is a tradition then?”

“Sort of, in the last couple decades I guess, among adults anyway.”

“Well, if it's tradition then,” and Jack leans forward to give Ianto another kiss. “I guess I will come in for that drink.”

Ianto leads Jack by the hand to the door and remembers that he's barefoot when his feet feel the scratchy welcome mat. He tries to wipe his feet off of some of the sand and Jack tries to as well, following his example.

Ianto finally opens the door. “It's a lost cause. I'm going to have sand all over my flat.”

Jack follows Ianto inside and then says, “Let's go to the bathroom and wash our feet off first. We'll get some on the carpet on the way there, but it'll be better than doing nothing.”

Ianto and Jack tip toe through to the bathroom, feeling silly, and Ianto gets them both to stand in the bath before turning on the water and adjusting the temperature. Once warm, he stoppers the plug and joins Jack with sitting on the edge of the tub with his feet inside. It seems cozy with the warm water slowly covering their feet. Before he knows it, Jack has bent down and raised Ianto's foot up, propping Ianto's ankle on his knee and has started to wash it with some body wash. Ianto lets Jack clean his feet, and then he reciprocates with Jack's feet. Ianto drains the water and then they rinse their feet under the water from the faucet. Jack grabs a nearby towel and dries off Ianto's feet before stepping onto the floor.

“Thank you,” Ianto says. It has felt strangely intimate, like resting against Jack sleeping in his chair the day before. It feels more intimate than any of their sexual activity had before. “Let me get you that drink,” Ianto says to break the tension.

He leaves the bathroom and pulls out the scotch, pouring them both a double while Jack pads over to the living room and sits on the couch. Ianto sits next to him, handing over a glass, and takes a large sip of his own, enjoying the burn as it goes down.

Jack looks into his drink. “I guess I'm a little nervous,” he admits.

Ianto almost spits out his drink. “What?!”

“Well, not about the possibility of being physical with you, but of being intimate with you again.”

“Please, Jack. You just washed my feet and yesterday I listened to you sleep. That was way more intimate than sex.”

“I guess,” Jack says. “I'm just worried that I'm pushing you away if we have sex again.”

Ianto is ready to scoff, but then realizes that he broke up with Jack after sex, freaked out after he gave him a blow job, after their wonderful night he said that he makes him a worse person, and then there was the disastrous interrupted attempt at sex in which they were caught, Jack had a bad break up, and Ianto wouldn't be near him for weeks. Ianto sighs, “I guess that makes sense.”

“What?” Jack says, scared that Ianto is going to confirm his fears.

“I just mean that, I'm to blame for this. I've repeatedly pushed you away after sex for a while now, but there were other reasons. I promise it had nothing to do with the actual sex part. It wasn't about intimacy either. The sex was just incidental to other issues, and I've really enjoyed our dates, and our other time together. You've made me feel comfortable, and I want you to feel the same.” Ianto puts his drink down and embraces Jack, holding him close. 

Jack relaxes in Ianto's arms and hugs him back. “So, are we okay now?” Jack asks into Ianto's neck.

“Yes, we're okay.”

Jack kisses Ianto's neck and pulls his shirt out of his trousers so that he can slide his hands underneath and feel his bare back. “Okay then,” Jack says and kisses Ianto passionately.

Ianto is happy to go along with things and starts to unbutton Jack's shirt, pulling it out of his trousers and down his arms. Jack similarly pulls at Ianto's shirt until he has it off. Both bare chested, they grab each other and press close, feeling skin against skin. Ianto sighs in relief at finally feeling Jack's warm body against his.

Jack leans back into the sofa cushion and pulls Ianto around and on his lap, still pressed against him. He moves his hand to the front of Ianto's trousers and rubs against his rapidly swelling cock. Ianto sighs louder, whining a little, and pulls back. “Jack, can we go in the bedroom?” Ianto manages to gasp out.

“Yes, please,” Jack enthusiastically replies. He helps Ianto in getting off of him and holds onto his hand as they stumble off the couch. Ianto pauses to grab his drink and then tosses back the remainder of the scotch.

“Don't want it to go to waste,” he says in explanation, and then leads the way to the bedroom. Barely through the door, Ianto kicks it shut and is on Jack again, kissing and groping, unfastening his belt and trousers. Jack is likewise occupied, and shortly they are in their pants and falling onto the bed.

Jack rolls them so he's on top and can press down into Ianto's answering hardness, giving a sigh of his own. Ianto pushes himself back into Jack and whines for relief. “Please, Jack.”

Jack slides down Ianto's body, kissing his way down his chest, stopping to tease his nipples, and then down to his waistband. He slowly lowers it inch by inch, kissing and swiping his tongue across every bit of newly exposed flesh. He temporarily ignores Ianto's cock as he exposes it, and instead kisses the crease between hip and pelvis. Ianto whines again and thrusts his hips up. Jack pulls Ianto's pants completely off, and then starts to lightly kiss his way from balls to lower shaft, and exasperatingly slowly up the shaft to the tip. Once at the tip, he licks and then suckles, holding Ianto's hips down.

Ianto groans and begs. “Please, Jack. Please.”

Jack relents and swallows down Ianto's cock, past it hitting the back of his throat, until his lips touch the base and the hairs tickle his nose. Ianto yells out in pleasure and Jack chuckles, sending vibrations through Ianto's cock. “Oh, God, Jack I'm going to come!”

Jack sucks hard and pulls slowly up the shaft, and Ianto grabs his hair and tries to buck up into Jack's mouth and comes deep in his throat, yelling harshly, hurting his throat. Jack pulls off, licking up any dribbles and looks up at Ianto with a self satisfied smile. Ianto catches his breath and laughs at Jack's smile. “You look like the cat that got the canary.”

“Is that what they're calling it these days,” Jack says as he moves up Ianto's body, and then gives him a kiss. Ianto likes tasting himself on Jack. He closes his eyes and starts to drift. “Not so fast,” Jack says. “I'm not done with you yet.”

“Don't worry,” says Ianto. “I'm not done with you either, I'm just taking a breather.”

Jack kisses Ianto deeply and presses his achingly hard cock into Ianto's hip. Jack whines at the lack of relief. He pulls back and finally strips off his pants, then he opens Ianto's bedside table, happy to find it stocked with lube and condoms. Jack takes some out, and Ianto says, “I got the kind you like,” letting him know that it wasn't a coincidence, but that Ianto had prepared for Jack and has been ready and willing for a little while. Jack feels more confident that Ianto isn't going to run away after sex. He opens the lube and dribbles it on his fingers, and as he moves his hand down, Ianto opens and raises his legs for him, presenting himself. Jack inserts a finger and moves it in and out slowly and looks at Ianto, who is looking at him. He maintains eye contact as he adds a second finger and separates them, relaxing Ianto's muscle. The eye contact is intense and Jack leans in to kiss him, inserting his tongue in the same rhythm as his fingers. Ianto embraces him and pulls, leaving fingernail marks on his back. Jack inserts a third finger and continues his slow pace. Ianto is hard again, and once he's loose enough, Jack takes out his fingers and rips open the condom package. Sheathing himself, he adds a little more lube and strokes it on, shuddering at the pleasure.

“Inside, now,” Ianto demands. Jack kisses him messily and hooks an arm under Ianto's knee, bringing his leg up. With his other hand, he lines himself up with Ianto's relaxed hole, and then slowly pushes himself in, little by little. Ianto moans with each little thrust and tries to hurry things along by pushing back on Jack's cock. Jack can't hold back anymore and gives in and starts thrusting fully, his balls hitting, and then pulling almost all the way out again.

Ianto wraps both his legs high around Jack's back and hooks his ankles together. “Yes, yes!” Ianto cries out.

“Ianto!” Jack responds and squeezes his eyes closed. “Oh, Ianto!” as he thrusts in slowly and gently. He rocks back and forth, rocking Ianto's hips along with him so that they move and sway on the bed, completely in sync as one body. Ianto's cock is pressed between their bodies, getting warmth and friction from their stomachs. Ianto presses his face against Jack's neck and tries not to bite down, but just sucks as the intensity becomes too much.

“Ianto, I love you!” Jack cries out as he comes hard and thrusts a final time. Ianto comes immediately after, spurting hotly between their bodies and yelling against Jack's neck. Jack can't move from his position on top of Ianto as he tries to catch his breath. Ianto keeps his legs tightly wrapped around Jack, and looking into Jack's eyes, he sees a tear on his cheek. Ianto reaches up and wipes it away.

“What's wrong?” Ianto asks.

“Nothing, definitely nothing. It was just so intense, for me anyway.” Jack looks away embarrassed at his reaction.

Ianto cups Jack's cheek, still close enough to kiss. “Me, too. It was that way for me, too.”

After a few minutes, when both of their breathing has calmed down, Jack reaches up to move Ianto's legs slowly down and pulls out of him. Slowly he regains his feet so that he can make his way to the bathroom to take care of the condom and grab a cloth for them both. Jack returns to the bed and cleans them up, Ianto appears to be barely awake, breathing deeply with closed eyes, but responding to Jack's movements.

Jack throws the cloth to the side and then crawls next to Ianto, pulls the duvet up, and then wraps his arms and legs around him, pulling him close so he can rest his head on Ianto's chest. Ianto wraps his arms around Jack, too, kisses him on the head and says, “I love you, too.”

Jack looks up at Ianto and kisses him. “Thank you for forgiving me,” Jack says.

“You forgave me, too, it's only right.”

Jack rests his head back down and they drift off to a satisfied slumber.


	32. Chapter 32

Ianto wakes up to the smell of meat cooking. It definitely smells like ham and sausage. He notices that he's alone in the bed, but it doesn't feel quite cold yet, so it hasn't been too long. He feels tired, but he slept well, almost too well, since his muscles feel stiff, and the smell of breakfast lures him out of bed. He grabs his dressing gown and follows his nose to the kitchen, where he finds Jack, in only an apron, behind the stove, his tight arse bare to the world.

“Good morning,” says Ianto, surprising Jack.

“Morning! Go back to bed, I'm making you breakfast in bed.”

Ianto smiles at him and instead walks right up and plants a kiss on him. “That's sweet, but I'm already up, so I'll eat it at the table, but you're more than welcome to continue to make it for me and serve it to me.”

“Coming right up, just going to fry the eggs and make the toast.”

“Smells good,” Ianto says, and then he gives Jack a light slap on the arse and goes over to the coffee machine. He starts it up and soon has two full cups that he puts on the table. A moment later and Jack is setting down the plates of a full fry up. “Thanks for this. You don't have to do all this.”

“I know, but I want to,” Jack says, sitting next to Ianto at the corner. He takes and squeezes Ianto's hand.

Ianto keeps a hold of the hand and says, “Jack, I really need us to talk about our expectations and define our relationship. The uncertainty and not knowing was the biggest problem for me before, and now I feel even more uncertain since you actually did get with Gwen and have told me that monogamy is not something you can do.”

“But I can, and I will, for you.”

“Jack, you said that you tried it once and it didn't work. It made you angry and difficult, and I don't want that for you, also I don't think I want that for me.”

Jack looks away from Ianto's steady gaze. “But I can,” he says quietly, as if trying to will it into happening.

“Jack, please look at me.” Jack looks up slowly, but he doesn't see what he expects. He expects to see Ianto upset and breaking up with him, but he just sees understanding and caring. “It's okay. I just want to know how you did the other relationships. The ones that weren't monogamous and went better. How did they end?”

“Oh, well, I've had a couple of long term open relationships. One of them lasted about thirty years. She knew about my immortality and seemed to accept it, but after she started to show her age more, she couldn't handle looking older than me. The other lasted about fifteen years, but I never told him about my immortality and I left him when he was getting suspicious. We were really happy during those years, though. He was a lot like me and really liked having an open relationship, so it was never really an issue between us.”

“Are there rules for an open relationship?”

Jack is finally understanding where Ianto is going with this, and that he's not running away. “Yes, there are agreed upon rules, but they're different for every couple. There are some that are very common, and others that are just for that particular situation. I've also had shorter open relationships with rules that have varied in their success.”

“Do you feel like you're in a relationship if you're with other people?” Ianto asks.

“Yes. There's still all the couple stuff, it's just that sometimes one of you or both of you go out for a little meaningless sex for fun. That's the crux of it, I guess, it's not other relationships, it's just meaningless and fun. There are some people who go for multiple relationships, but that's a different arrangement altogether, and not what we're discussing here.”

“So you don't feel the need to have relationships with these other people? It's just for fun?” Since Jack looks a little more relaxed now, Ianto uses his free hand to eat the breakfast Jack made him.

“Yeah, when I've had the successful relationships, it's been with a basic open plan, where we can both have sex with other people, but not enter into relationships.”

“How do you prevent that? Can't you just start falling for someone accidentally if you're basically dating them and having sex with them?”

“That's why there's rules.”

“What are the basic rules?”

“Well, for one, the rules are equally applied. And that means that if I'm allowed to have sex with other people, then so are you.”

“I really don't need that, Jack.”

“It doesn't matter if you don't chose to use it, but it's still there in case you ever decide you do want to. Everything has to be equal in these arrangements.”

“Okay, well, what are these rules?” Ianto's hands are starting to get sweaty, but he continues to hold Jack's hand.

“Most importantly, sex with other people does not mean dating. This can be done with different types of restrictions, but a common one is that it's never the same person more than once. That way, I can't get attached to someone else. The sex is just for fun and does not affect my emotional relationship with you.”

“I like that rule. I think I can be comfortable if I know that you're not actually dating someone else.”

“Another rule that I've used is not sleeping over at someone else's after sex. That tends to take away the possibility of intimacy and it turning into more than just a one night stand.”

Ianto sighs with relief. “That would make me feel better. Can I add something?”

“Of course.”

“Can we agree that any other person would not be someone that I already know. So, no one at work or even socially. I get that it might be someone you've met before at a bar or club, but no one that I know, okay?”

Jack smiles. “Okay. That's easy enough. Anything else to add?”

Ianto bites his lip for a moment. “I don't know. I can't think of what else there should be.”

“We can always add to these rules. Some couples make specific nights or restrictions on how often, but others don't. I really don't think I'll need restrictions on how often, because I don't really think it will be that often, but you can always add that later.”

“I appreciate you saying that I can just make restrictions for you, but these things will only work if we both agree to them. The whole point is that you have to feel free enough. How about just a rule that you don't break any plans that we already have made to be with someone else.”

“Agreed. You, too. You have to follow the same rules, too.”

Ianto smiles. “Like I said. I don't think I'm going to take advantage of this arrangement.”

“You never know. You might decide that you miss being with women and want one once in a while.”

“I'll keep that in mind. So, is that it? Are those all the rules?”

“You can make as many rules for me as you need,” Jack says.

“I really don't feel comfortable imposing rules on you. It seems so controlling and unbalanced.”

“And that's why I'll accept them,” Jack says. “Because you don't want to make them. You're not imposing them on me, I'm imposing them on myself. If you had just told me that you were going to give me rules, I would never have accepted them.”

Ianto smiles, “You're so contrary.”

“Don't think of them as rules,” Jack says. “They're guidelines to tell me when you might be unhappy, because I don't want to make you unhappy again. I want you to be happy with me.”

“I want you to be happy, too, and I just worry that rules will make you want to break free of me.”

“I'm putting them on myself, and that makes all the difference. If I'm having a problem with a particular rule, than I'll talk to you about it instead of just going against it.” Jack stops to look at Ianto finishing his sausage. “Does that mean that you're my boyfriend now?” Jack asks Ianto with an uneasy smile.

“Yes, if you'll have me.”

Jack grabs Ianto's jaw and pulls him in for a desperate kiss. When he finally pulls away, Ianto says, “I guess that's a yes from you.”

“I intend to make this work, Ianto. I expect to stay with you for as long as you'll have me.”

“Me, too.”

Jack starts to enthusiastically shovel his breakfast into his mouth, having released Ianto's hand. “And we can talk about this more once you've had some time to think about it and what about it might make you unhappy. I won't be wandering from you anytime soon, so don't worry about it for now.”

“You don't have any dates coming up that you might have planned before this?”

Jack laughs, “No.”

“I was serious,” says Ianto.

“Oh, well, still no. I haven't even wanted to be with anyone else since I kicked Gwen out. Frankly, I've never had so low a sex drive as these past weeks.”

“Oh.”

“I think it's because I know that I love you, and that's all I could think about.”

“Jack, you say that you loved me before, but why did you never say it?”

Jack swallows a mouthful before answering. “I didn't realize it. I'm sorry I can be so dumb to not even recognize my own feelings. But you never said it either. Why not?”

Ianto pushes his fork around the plate and sighs. “And I did realize it, too. I was just too scared, scared of you rejecting me because of it.”

“You know, you're right. I wouldn't have received it well. I would have pushed you away. I'm so sorry. Please, forgive me.”

“Jack, you know I already have. Let's just move forward. I'll take the time you've offered to think about this open relationship plan, and maybe even write down the rules so I remember them.”

“The key to an open relationship is to be open and honest with each other. I'll tell you if I have any concerns about the arrangement, and you do the same, especially if you're feeling jealous or uncertain. That is more important to me than sex with other people, okay? I will do whatever I can to make you feel secure.”

“I feel comfortable with what we've talked about so far.”

“Good.” Jack leans forward and gives Ianto a sausage-y kiss. “I'm pretty sure you're the perfect man.”

“Don't forget it.”


	33. Chapter 33

Three Months Later

Ianto's still awake and reading even though it's late. He's in bed and propped up on some pillows. He startles when he hears the door to the flat open, even though he knows that it's Jack. Ianto can tell that he's trying to be quiet, assuming that Ianto's asleep.

Jack slowly creaks the bedroom door open, and then sees that the light's on and opens it fully. “Oh no, you didn't stay up, did you?!”

“Get over yourself,” Ianto says jokingly. “I just got caught up in my book, I wasn't waiting for you.” Ianto looks at the clock and sees that it's one in the morning. “Although, I didn't intend to stay up this late, and I expected you'd be later.”

Jack leans down to give Ianto a kiss, but just as he's about to, Ianto stops him. “Can you brush your teeth and take a shower before coming to bed?”

“Of course, sorry, I should have thought of that. Let's call it a new rule.”

“You just smell different is all. It doesn't have to be a thing.”

“It's a good rule though. It's what I'd want you to do if you smelled of someone else,” Jack says as he strips off his clothes. It's his first night trying out the arrangement, and while he had a good time, he feels a little unsure of how Ianto is feeling about it.

Ianto smiles at him, though, and looks at ease. “Did you have fun at least?”

Jack looks at him curiously, “Yes,” he says carefully. “But not too much fun.” He starts the shower running in the ensuite bathroom to warm up the water. Ianto watches Jack's naked body as he moves around. He's still a little flushed and sweaty, and he finds it unexpectedly sexy.

Jack jumps under the water and quickly soaps up and rinses, making sure to thoroughly wash anywhere that might smell of the other man. It had just been a hot young guy that he picked up at one of his old regular clubs. He wasn't even that different from Ianto, but Jack really is just testing the waters at this point to see if Ianto is really okay with this.

Jack gets out of the shower and sees Ianto staring at him through the open door. Jack is glistening and dripping wet, and Ianto can't help but stare. Jack chuckles at the obviousness and grabs a towel to dry off. After rubbing his hair dry, he hangs up the towel and goes back into the bedroom, sliding onto the bed naked. “Do I get a kiss now.”

“Definitely,” Ianto says as he pulls him in for a deep kiss, reclaiming him as his own.

Once he pulls back, Jack asks, “Are you sure you're okay with this?”

Ianto pauses thoughtfully. “Yeah, I'm kind of surprised, but I really am. I liked that you called me first, though. Can we make that a thing?”

“A rule?” Jack teases, insisting on using the word that Ianto doesn't like. “Yes, that can definitely be a rule.”

“I just liked that I knew what was going on, and that I won't be surprised afterwards.”

“Of course. That way I can invite you along as well.” Jack smirks. He had actually invited Ianto along, but he declined.

Ianto smiles shyly, “Maybe next time I will accept.”

“Really?” Jack asks skeptically.

Ianto lowers his voice to a whisper even though there's no one around to hear. “You looked really hot coming home all sweaty. Maybe I'd like to be there for the event itself.”

Jack feels confident that Ianto's not just putting on a show. Maybe he'll participate in the arrangement, after all, and Jack can then indulge in one of his few fantasies that he hasn't shared with Ianto yet, that of watching. “Don't rush yourself. Only do what you feel comfortable with.”

Ianto yawns. “Well, right now, I want to cuddle and sleep.” Jack crawls under the duvet and wraps himself around Ianto and turns out the lamp on the bedside table.

“By the way,” Ianto says in the dark, “Now that we've changed your official address on the paperwork, we should finish bringing your stuff over.”

“There's only a few things left, and I thought it might be helpful to leave some clothes and toiletries at the hub in case either of us needs to crash there on busy nights.” Jack's quarters were mostly being used as emergency housing at this point.

“I thought there were a few more boxes.”

“I brought those over last weekend. They're in the hall closet since I haven't had time to unpack them yet. I got distracted with Gwen's frantic calls from Australia.”

“She was pretty freaked out about not getting the building she wanted for the new Torchwood Australia. She was acting like there weren't any other options in all of Sydney,” Ianto says with a yawn. While the frequent phone calls at weird hours are annoying, Ianto is just glad that Gwen is an ocean away and can feel good about herself in the process. He knows that Gwen only came up with the idea in order to get out of Cardiff without leaving Torchwood, but it really is a decent idea to expand into the Commonwealth countries.

“So that means you're all moved in then?” Ianto asks hesitantly.

“Yup, I'm home,” says Jack as he squeezes his arms tighter around Ianto's chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who read and left kudos, and especially to those who left comments. Each and everyone of them were important to me and my journey to improve. I hope you are satisfied with Jack's amends and how he courted Ianto in the end.


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